Friday, August 31, 2012
One more second...
Yes, I know, I could be writing a lot more drivel, but I am so busy, I just don't have the time.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Republican convention coverage
Gay Couple Sues Airline For Removing Dildo From Their Luggage And Taping It To Checked Bag
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Monday, August 6, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
The drug deal at the Akron Airport
My daughter dropped me at the Akron Airport a couple hours early for my flight, which as anyone who travels knows, is not a bad thing, because the TSA seems to enjoy taking their sweet time either going through your bags or your body, either way, you could get stuck and it’s wise to get there early.
Strangely enough, a small airport like the Akron International Airport is still small enough that you can basically walk thru the security checkpoint. Of course, I still had to remove my belt and shoes and take coins out of my pockets, but for the most part, I was in and out of the security checkpoint in about 5 minutes.
The problem with fast airport security, especially at a podunk airport, is that there is nothing else to do, because the Akron Airport does not have the attractions and a circus atmosphere like the larger airports now do, so I was forced to either read or pay attention to my fellow travelers.
First, you have to realize I was traveling in great pain. Just a few days before travel my son and I were stealing a cement sidewalk from a house set for demolition and I had severely pulled a muscle in my lower back, severely enough that I could hardly walk without discomfort, much less sit or stand for any extended period of time. This made waiting at an airport for a couple of hours incredibly uncomfortable. I watched people, because sitting and reading would have been impossible. Lucky for me, an incredibly hot woman decided to show up.
I had found a seat in a bench type seating block near the main section of transit hubs, so I was near where my plane would be boarding, and in a small airport, all the traffic would be coming through this area. I could people watch until it was time to fly. A young couple walked out of security, the man carrying a Nike sports travel bag and the woman carrying nothing, but wearing super tight sweat pants, the sort that could be dangerously tight on the vast majority of women.
This woman was unique, first, in the front view, you did not see unwanted folds or flesh, you saw exactly what she wanted you to see, a perfectly flat surface and nothing more. I was not sure how she pulled this off, because the tightness of the material left very little to the imagination, but she pulled it off perfectly. The couple walked towards me. The man was strong and well built, but his girlfriend, or wife, I did not know, was amazing. She was beautiful and sexy and those pants could never be any tighter on her body without causing some sort of circulation problem.
The couple walked out of security and made their way towards me, then they stopped about 20 feet in front of me, he turned towards her, they said something, he handed her the Nike bag and they both went into the appropriate restrooms. When they turned I noticed that the woman had what I can only describe as quite possibly the most perfect ass I have ever seen. Now, I am far from an expert on asses, I am not one of those guys, but this woman, wearing sweat pants that were as tight as any sort of covering pant could be expected to be, were form fitting on a perfectly formed posterior and I took notice. She was perfection as she walked away from me into the women’s room.
I doubted I was the only one in the entire terminal to have noticed this beauty, but I just sat there in awe, watching as she disappeared. Her man walked into the men’s room next door to the women’s room and he too disappeared. In about 30 seconds, he had finished his business and walked out. He stood for a few seconds, possibly waiting for his beauty to finish, then he looked for a seat, saw one near me and made his way right behind me and sat down.
He was soon on his cellphone and made a series of calls. I could only hear his side of all these conversations. All of them went something like this. “Yeah, so last week we only said something like 15. Now, say 20 or 25. OK. See you tomorrow.” In another, he might say, “remember last week when I lost 15 points? I think I can make 25 tomorrow. Yeah, that’s what I said. 25. See you then.” I am not sure how many calls he made, but he made quite a few. He was on the phone the entire time he was sitting behind me. My back began to spasm after 10 minutes and I stood to go find a place to stretch and work out my spinal injury.
That’s when it dawned on me. The beautiful woman with the most perfect ass in history had been in the women’s room for over 10 minutes and her boyfriend, who must play a lot of poker or something, did not seem to notice or care. Now, he spent about 30 seconds in the men’s room, which is about as long as any man wants to spend in a public rest room, unless you are a republican senator from Idaho, then all time limits are off.
I found a far off wall and started to do some yoga exercises and tried to alleviate the damage the sitting had done to my damaged muscles. The boyfriend remained in his seat, on his phone, the girlfriend was still in the bathroom. I stretched for a good 10-15 minutes and lost track of the couple.
The flight from Atlanta arrived and while deplaning I noticed the beautiful woman sitting a next to the boyfriend with the phone. I had not witnessed her leave the bathroom, but I had also spent time working on my back, so she could have made her way through the crowd without my noticing. The passengers made their way though all of us waiting for our flights and an announcement was made that the plane was being prepped and would begin loading for a flight to Orlando in about 15 minutes. At that point, impatient passengers for Orlando began to move toward to gate. Also at that point cellphone man and perfect ass woman stood, he now carrying the Nike travel bag, she following, no bag at all, and they proceeded to walk toward the exit.
Now, I am not the smartest guy in the world, but the Akron International Airport is small enough that I had already realized that the waiting area I was watching was the only one for passengers. The security area was the only one for people traveling. The couple had passed through security, I watched as they had made it through security, watched as they made their way into the restrooms, watched as they sat and watched the flight deplane from Atlanta and now I watched as they were leaving the airport. I actually stood and walked and watched as they walked out of the exit and into the parking lot of the Akron Airport.
They had walked in, thru security, used the restrooms and now they were leaving. They would have had to purchase a ticket to somewhere to get past security, you need a valid ticket to get past the TSA, at least I did. So I stood there, doing some stretching, trying to figure out why they would buy a couple of tickets and not fly anywhere.
Maybe she has a severe fear of flying. That would explain why she was in the bathroom for such an extended period of time. In my mind no one ever spends any extended period of time in a public restroom, ever. Then again, she never appeared out of sorts, upset, sick or distressed. In fact, the last time I saw her when she was leaving with the cellphone man, she appeared as sexy and happy as I had seen her when she arrived.
Drugs. It did not take me long.
The Nike bag was empty when they came through security, or maybe it had some disposable shirt of something, but nothing of value or weight. They buy a ticket to Orlando with no plan to use it. Walk through security completely clean. She so hot in that skin tight outfit no one in security would even pay attention to anything else. Why would they?
He hands her the empty bag at the restroom, he goes in and pees, and then makes calls to all his drug friends, announcing cryptic plans on deliveries, 20 here, 15 there, last weeks supply of 10 will be this weeks 20. All the while, the woman with the perfect ass is in a stall in the women’s room, somehow loading up that bag with some sort of illegal drug, delivered by some on-the-job airport worker. When done, she walks out, hands the bag to cellphone guy and when a plane lands, they walk out with all the other passengers. When their scheduled flight leaves for Orlando they are written off as no-shows.
So, while I was waiting for my flight at the Akron Airport, I witnessed what I was sure was a major drug exchange of some sort. I thought for a minute, should I report this? Then I started to wonder, who knows about this? Maybe TSA agents know these people. Someone put the drugs in the bathroom, maybe TSA, maybe a gate worker. Who could I trust? Seemed like a small enough airport where either everyone knew or most would either know and not care, or know and be in on it.
The drug import game has always changed and transformed as police clamped down. Having fake passengers walk right past TSA agents with bags filled with illegal drugs was genius, then again, having TSA agents helping with the scam was a smart move too.
Strangely enough, a small airport like the Akron International Airport is still small enough that you can basically walk thru the security checkpoint. Of course, I still had to remove my belt and shoes and take coins out of my pockets, but for the most part, I was in and out of the security checkpoint in about 5 minutes.
The problem with fast airport security, especially at a podunk airport, is that there is nothing else to do, because the Akron Airport does not have the attractions and a circus atmosphere like the larger airports now do, so I was forced to either read or pay attention to my fellow travelers.
First, you have to realize I was traveling in great pain. Just a few days before travel my son and I were stealing a cement sidewalk from a house set for demolition and I had severely pulled a muscle in my lower back, severely enough that I could hardly walk without discomfort, much less sit or stand for any extended period of time. This made waiting at an airport for a couple of hours incredibly uncomfortable. I watched people, because sitting and reading would have been impossible. Lucky for me, an incredibly hot woman decided to show up.
I had found a seat in a bench type seating block near the main section of transit hubs, so I was near where my plane would be boarding, and in a small airport, all the traffic would be coming through this area. I could people watch until it was time to fly. A young couple walked out of security, the man carrying a Nike sports travel bag and the woman carrying nothing, but wearing super tight sweat pants, the sort that could be dangerously tight on the vast majority of women.
This woman was unique, first, in the front view, you did not see unwanted folds or flesh, you saw exactly what she wanted you to see, a perfectly flat surface and nothing more. I was not sure how she pulled this off, because the tightness of the material left very little to the imagination, but she pulled it off perfectly. The couple walked towards me. The man was strong and well built, but his girlfriend, or wife, I did not know, was amazing. She was beautiful and sexy and those pants could never be any tighter on her body without causing some sort of circulation problem.
The couple walked out of security and made their way towards me, then they stopped about 20 feet in front of me, he turned towards her, they said something, he handed her the Nike bag and they both went into the appropriate restrooms. When they turned I noticed that the woman had what I can only describe as quite possibly the most perfect ass I have ever seen. Now, I am far from an expert on asses, I am not one of those guys, but this woman, wearing sweat pants that were as tight as any sort of covering pant could be expected to be, were form fitting on a perfectly formed posterior and I took notice. She was perfection as she walked away from me into the women’s room.
I doubted I was the only one in the entire terminal to have noticed this beauty, but I just sat there in awe, watching as she disappeared. Her man walked into the men’s room next door to the women’s room and he too disappeared. In about 30 seconds, he had finished his business and walked out. He stood for a few seconds, possibly waiting for his beauty to finish, then he looked for a seat, saw one near me and made his way right behind me and sat down.
He was soon on his cellphone and made a series of calls. I could only hear his side of all these conversations. All of them went something like this. “Yeah, so last week we only said something like 15. Now, say 20 or 25. OK. See you tomorrow.” In another, he might say, “remember last week when I lost 15 points? I think I can make 25 tomorrow. Yeah, that’s what I said. 25. See you then.” I am not sure how many calls he made, but he made quite a few. He was on the phone the entire time he was sitting behind me. My back began to spasm after 10 minutes and I stood to go find a place to stretch and work out my spinal injury.
That’s when it dawned on me. The beautiful woman with the most perfect ass in history had been in the women’s room for over 10 minutes and her boyfriend, who must play a lot of poker or something, did not seem to notice or care. Now, he spent about 30 seconds in the men’s room, which is about as long as any man wants to spend in a public rest room, unless you are a republican senator from Idaho, then all time limits are off.
I found a far off wall and started to do some yoga exercises and tried to alleviate the damage the sitting had done to my damaged muscles. The boyfriend remained in his seat, on his phone, the girlfriend was still in the bathroom. I stretched for a good 10-15 minutes and lost track of the couple.
The flight from Atlanta arrived and while deplaning I noticed the beautiful woman sitting a next to the boyfriend with the phone. I had not witnessed her leave the bathroom, but I had also spent time working on my back, so she could have made her way through the crowd without my noticing. The passengers made their way though all of us waiting for our flights and an announcement was made that the plane was being prepped and would begin loading for a flight to Orlando in about 15 minutes. At that point, impatient passengers for Orlando began to move toward to gate. Also at that point cellphone man and perfect ass woman stood, he now carrying the Nike travel bag, she following, no bag at all, and they proceeded to walk toward the exit.
Now, I am not the smartest guy in the world, but the Akron International Airport is small enough that I had already realized that the waiting area I was watching was the only one for passengers. The security area was the only one for people traveling. The couple had passed through security, I watched as they had made it through security, watched as they made their way into the restrooms, watched as they sat and watched the flight deplane from Atlanta and now I watched as they were leaving the airport. I actually stood and walked and watched as they walked out of the exit and into the parking lot of the Akron Airport.
They had walked in, thru security, used the restrooms and now they were leaving. They would have had to purchase a ticket to somewhere to get past security, you need a valid ticket to get past the TSA, at least I did. So I stood there, doing some stretching, trying to figure out why they would buy a couple of tickets and not fly anywhere.
Maybe she has a severe fear of flying. That would explain why she was in the bathroom for such an extended period of time. In my mind no one ever spends any extended period of time in a public restroom, ever. Then again, she never appeared out of sorts, upset, sick or distressed. In fact, the last time I saw her when she was leaving with the cellphone man, she appeared as sexy and happy as I had seen her when she arrived.
Drugs. It did not take me long.
The Nike bag was empty when they came through security, or maybe it had some disposable shirt of something, but nothing of value or weight. They buy a ticket to Orlando with no plan to use it. Walk through security completely clean. She so hot in that skin tight outfit no one in security would even pay attention to anything else. Why would they?
He hands her the empty bag at the restroom, he goes in and pees, and then makes calls to all his drug friends, announcing cryptic plans on deliveries, 20 here, 15 there, last weeks supply of 10 will be this weeks 20. All the while, the woman with the perfect ass is in a stall in the women’s room, somehow loading up that bag with some sort of illegal drug, delivered by some on-the-job airport worker. When done, she walks out, hands the bag to cellphone guy and when a plane lands, they walk out with all the other passengers. When their scheduled flight leaves for Orlando they are written off as no-shows.
So, while I was waiting for my flight at the Akron Airport, I witnessed what I was sure was a major drug exchange of some sort. I thought for a minute, should I report this? Then I started to wonder, who knows about this? Maybe TSA agents know these people. Someone put the drugs in the bathroom, maybe TSA, maybe a gate worker. Who could I trust? Seemed like a small enough airport where either everyone knew or most would either know and not care, or know and be in on it.
The drug import game has always changed and transformed as police clamped down. Having fake passengers walk right past TSA agents with bags filled with illegal drugs was genius, then again, having TSA agents helping with the scam was a smart move too.
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