I learned many things this week and one of the more important lessons was that my highly educated, out and proud lesbian dog has no problem with being called a bitch.
We were at her “vet” and the female doctor said something like, “so your dog is a bitch?” Of course, I silently pointed to my dog, who hears everything but often pretends to be deaf, and I quietly (almost a whisper really) said, “you do know she’s right there on the table, right?”
The doctor gave me a strange look and said, “I doubt she cares.”
“Yeah, well I have to live with her, we’ll see about having her feelings hurt later, I’m sure.”
We were at the vets office because my lovely and sweet dog has taken to licking herself almost non-stop, which in some cultures would be considered a fine day, but for those of us living with this “bitch” it can get tiresome.
So we brought our little princess to the doctor and wouldn’t you know it, she actually refused to show the doctor the behavior we all find so shockingly disgusting.
I described what my dog spends the 2 hours she is generally awake doing and the doctor gave us a lot of reasons why my sweet bitch might be captivated by that particular region with so much passion. She read off a list of two or three possible reasons about my logs complete focus on her nether region and not a single one contained the words “because she enjoys it.”
So, they did a battery of tests, we’d have to wait a few days for results, but soon enough we were back in the car, heading home with the bitch in the back seat, licking away like there was no tomorrow.
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