When I last was offered an upgrade from the evil and incompetent company Verizon Wireless, I was interested in testing out the Galaxy S3. I do not remember what attracted me to the Galaxy, maybe a cute advertising campaign, maybe the larger screen. At this point it does not matter. I bought the hype and took the offer. I think I gave the Galaxy plenty of time to seduce me and after a few months I was in search of any way I could find to dump the useless phone.
Why? I have been spoiled by Apple, I will admit it. My first Apple phone was the original Iphone and while I have not updated when every version of the Iphone has been delivered to the marketplace, I had often enjoyed the seamless communication with the Apple and all my other devices. With the Galaxy, nothing was easy. It was like dating a foreign language speaking Zombie.
So after weeks of complete frustration with the idiots and morons who work the Verizon phone answering system, I found a local person willing to trade. Almost immediately after returning to Apple I realized the screen is much smaller on the Iphone, but the larger screen on the Galaxy did not make it work smart. The Iphone is a much better product and will remain so because Samsung and the others are an awful lot like Microsoft, designing products that do not make anything easier, but instead, make you work as some sort of electronic engineer, trying time and again to figure out aps and aspects of the phone that are way to complicated for someone who wants a smartphone to just be smart.
Is Apple perfect? Not by a longshot, but it is beter.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
These few days
I am working as a test hamster for some new medication, which has taken a toll on me lately. This past week has been a diarrhea marathon, which was made worse by the fact that three days ago every joint in my body was inflamed and left me in so much pain I could barely make it to the toilet. That was three days ago. Yesterday, in consultation with my doctor, I tried an over the counter anti-diarrhea medication and this morning, still weak and sore, I decided to teach my body who really is in charge. I went for a run in the hot and humid Mississippi mid-day sun.
We should never allow ailments to our bodies to dictate staying healthy. Nice try big pharma, but this time, I ran you off.
We should never allow ailments to our bodies to dictate staying healthy. Nice try big pharma, but this time, I ran you off.
Monday, June 24, 2013
The problems with customer service
For the past few months I have been engaged in a semi-private study of the customer service industrial complex. First, as noted on here a few times, the goofy people who answer phones in third world countries that handle all of the Comcast customer calls never have a solution, although they always answer and promise to “get to the bottom of your problem, Mr. Matt.”
Sure, we all understand that English speaking Americans are not interested in Call Center work, so corporations like Comcast, Delta Airlines and Verizon, have all sent these sorts of jobs to third world countries, where the underpaid employees are taught to say things like, “you and I will resolve this problem today.” Of course, since they are in some far off land with nothing more than a phone set and a well cooked cat, so nothing ever gets accomplished.
In 6 months Comcast has sent 6 repairmen to my house and countless phone representatives have promised “this will be the fix you need,” which of course never ever ever happens. Status today? Slow and unpredictable internet service, but I no longer call Comcast customer support because those calls only leave me in need of a heaping portion of General Tso’s.
When my crappy Samsung big screen phone continued to turn itself on and off on it’s own whim, I stopped into my local Verizon store, only to be told that while the Samsung phone has a reputation for being a piece of crap, there was nothing they could do about it, except FedEx me a replacement piece of crap phone. That was the promise, but of course, no replacement piece of crap phone ever showed up. So, stupidly, I called Verizon customer service, where I spent an engaging 30 minutes trying to talk with someone named Flan. Promises made, “we will get this problem fixed for you, Mr. Matt.” Still no phone, no nothing. Then, out of the blue, I received a call from someone higher up the Verizon food chain, a woman in Tennessee who works to make sure customers are happy. At first I thought, “now this is how you work with your customers.” She promised to find a solution to my phone problem and said “I will call you back tomorrow and we will have a workable solution for you.” That was a week ago. After waiting 3 days, I called her office back and of course, got voice mail. I left a detailed message and of course, there has been no return call back.
This past Saturday I was on my way to the airport for a flight to Mississippi. When we approached downtown Pittsburgh all traffic came to a complete stop. Not a crawl, not a slow stop and look at someone changing their tire slowdown, but a complete parking lot stand still. I still had a couple of hours before my flight, but I called the Delta Airlines customer phone service line and asked what I should do, since it appeared I may be on a Pittsburgh highway for the rest of my life. The friendly woman at Delta recommended I do not check on via phone, but wait until I was actually at the airport, because I may need to take a later flight. Cost of changing flights? Nothing if doe ne that day, at least according to the Delta phone woman.
About that time a nice person got out of their car and stopped the stupid Kenny Chesney fans from blocking all lanes of the highway and we were soon passing the morons with “I love Kenny” on their bumpers and we raced to the airport. While checking in, a dumpy Delta robot told me that since I was trying to check in with less than half an hour left before my flight, I no longer had a seat, but I could go standby for 50 dollars. I told this robotic woman that I had talked with a Delta phone rep who said there would be no charge and recommended I do not check in on the phone and wait until I was there, at the airport, where I was then standing. Angry robot woman asked for the phone reps name, because that information I received while surrounded by Kenny Chesney oafs was false. As if I write down peoples names when talking on the phone.
She demanded a 50 dollar fee to get on the next plane. I paid it, got on the later plane and missed all the connections. In Atlanta I spoke to another drone Delta employee, who could not be bothered to find a flight that was less than a six hour wait. I noticed this woman was a “trainee” and the other Delta agent sitting next to her kept offering advice to the trainee, but in more than 10 minutes of waiting for the trainee to figure out an option, the experienced Delta agent never offered to just punch all the buttons and send me on my way, that would have been too easy. Of course, the trainee agent was sweet enough to offer me some sort of flight coupon, before sending me on a flight to New Orleans, a city far from my original destination. I did make the flight, but the flustered Delta agent, of course, forgot to actually print up any of the previously offered coupons. Funny how that works. She may be new, but she already mastered the corporate representative mantra, “how may I help, but don’t expect any sort of resolution.”
That’s when I realized that all these people, the ones in far off lands with exotic foods and terrible diseases, and their American bound associates must all attend the same conference on dealing with customers. Whether it’s Comcasts inability to just make an internet connection work, or Verizon finding a way to actually offer phone service, or Delta Airlines, where one agent says one thing, another says something opposite and a trainee makes offers that never appear, they all share one characteristic. Never, NEVER actually do anything.
The corporate representative conference must be filled with educational seminars on how to treat customers with little respect, with no integrity and make offers than never actually happen. Maybe this is part of the decline of the American empire, where the easiest thing you can do to deal with customers is just lie and hope they will just go away.
Which is now my plan. Disengage from the Comcast internet idiocy, cancel the Verizon no-phone plan and fly airlines that have a goal of delivering passengers to the cities they originally were scheduled to land in.
It can’t be that hard to be truthful. It seems like it would be easy to just tell customers, we don’t know, or we can’t fix that for you because we are too cheap to repair our old delivery systems, or “I have no clue what you are saying because I only read the responses I have been given to say because English is my 7th language and the one I do not understand at all.”
I could go on for hours, but right now, I need to call Apple Computer, because my Airbook keeps shutting down and disengaging from both the internet and the Verizon hotspot I had stupidly set up, and all I wanted to do was attempt to send another letter of complaint to Delta Airlines.
Sure, we all understand that English speaking Americans are not interested in Call Center work, so corporations like Comcast, Delta Airlines and Verizon, have all sent these sorts of jobs to third world countries, where the underpaid employees are taught to say things like, “you and I will resolve this problem today.” Of course, since they are in some far off land with nothing more than a phone set and a well cooked cat, so nothing ever gets accomplished.
In 6 months Comcast has sent 6 repairmen to my house and countless phone representatives have promised “this will be the fix you need,” which of course never ever ever happens. Status today? Slow and unpredictable internet service, but I no longer call Comcast customer support because those calls only leave me in need of a heaping portion of General Tso’s.
When my crappy Samsung big screen phone continued to turn itself on and off on it’s own whim, I stopped into my local Verizon store, only to be told that while the Samsung phone has a reputation for being a piece of crap, there was nothing they could do about it, except FedEx me a replacement piece of crap phone. That was the promise, but of course, no replacement piece of crap phone ever showed up. So, stupidly, I called Verizon customer service, where I spent an engaging 30 minutes trying to talk with someone named Flan. Promises made, “we will get this problem fixed for you, Mr. Matt.” Still no phone, no nothing. Then, out of the blue, I received a call from someone higher up the Verizon food chain, a woman in Tennessee who works to make sure customers are happy. At first I thought, “now this is how you work with your customers.” She promised to find a solution to my phone problem and said “I will call you back tomorrow and we will have a workable solution for you.” That was a week ago. After waiting 3 days, I called her office back and of course, got voice mail. I left a detailed message and of course, there has been no return call back.
This past Saturday I was on my way to the airport for a flight to Mississippi. When we approached downtown Pittsburgh all traffic came to a complete stop. Not a crawl, not a slow stop and look at someone changing their tire slowdown, but a complete parking lot stand still. I still had a couple of hours before my flight, but I called the Delta Airlines customer phone service line and asked what I should do, since it appeared I may be on a Pittsburgh highway for the rest of my life. The friendly woman at Delta recommended I do not check on via phone, but wait until I was actually at the airport, because I may need to take a later flight. Cost of changing flights? Nothing if doe ne that day, at least according to the Delta phone woman.
About that time a nice person got out of their car and stopped the stupid Kenny Chesney fans from blocking all lanes of the highway and we were soon passing the morons with “I love Kenny” on their bumpers and we raced to the airport. While checking in, a dumpy Delta robot told me that since I was trying to check in with less than half an hour left before my flight, I no longer had a seat, but I could go standby for 50 dollars. I told this robotic woman that I had talked with a Delta phone rep who said there would be no charge and recommended I do not check in on the phone and wait until I was there, at the airport, where I was then standing. Angry robot woman asked for the phone reps name, because that information I received while surrounded by Kenny Chesney oafs was false. As if I write down peoples names when talking on the phone.
She demanded a 50 dollar fee to get on the next plane. I paid it, got on the later plane and missed all the connections. In Atlanta I spoke to another drone Delta employee, who could not be bothered to find a flight that was less than a six hour wait. I noticed this woman was a “trainee” and the other Delta agent sitting next to her kept offering advice to the trainee, but in more than 10 minutes of waiting for the trainee to figure out an option, the experienced Delta agent never offered to just punch all the buttons and send me on my way, that would have been too easy. Of course, the trainee agent was sweet enough to offer me some sort of flight coupon, before sending me on a flight to New Orleans, a city far from my original destination. I did make the flight, but the flustered Delta agent, of course, forgot to actually print up any of the previously offered coupons. Funny how that works. She may be new, but she already mastered the corporate representative mantra, “how may I help, but don’t expect any sort of resolution.”
That’s when I realized that all these people, the ones in far off lands with exotic foods and terrible diseases, and their American bound associates must all attend the same conference on dealing with customers. Whether it’s Comcasts inability to just make an internet connection work, or Verizon finding a way to actually offer phone service, or Delta Airlines, where one agent says one thing, another says something opposite and a trainee makes offers that never appear, they all share one characteristic. Never, NEVER actually do anything.
The corporate representative conference must be filled with educational seminars on how to treat customers with little respect, with no integrity and make offers than never actually happen. Maybe this is part of the decline of the American empire, where the easiest thing you can do to deal with customers is just lie and hope they will just go away.
Which is now my plan. Disengage from the Comcast internet idiocy, cancel the Verizon no-phone plan and fly airlines that have a goal of delivering passengers to the cities they originally were scheduled to land in.
It can’t be that hard to be truthful. It seems like it would be easy to just tell customers, we don’t know, or we can’t fix that for you because we are too cheap to repair our old delivery systems, or “I have no clue what you are saying because I only read the responses I have been given to say because English is my 7th language and the one I do not understand at all.”
I could go on for hours, but right now, I need to call Apple Computer, because my Airbook keeps shutting down and disengaging from both the internet and the Verizon hotspot I had stupidly set up, and all I wanted to do was attempt to send another letter of complaint to Delta Airlines.
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Thanks Chesney
Yesterday, after a series of Kenny Chesney mishaps, the fumbling idiots at Delta Airlines allowed themselves to be talked into upgrading my flight, which was now headed to New Orleans. In first class they serve you free drinks like brothel night at the local casino. By the time I deplaned in New Orleans I was the drunkest I have been since high school. I stumbled off the plane and twice walked the wrong way, on what is basically a one way exit, until Neal from customer service was nice enough to turn me around. Twice As I was making my way out to the parking lot, I saw this sort of ironic sign.
Saturday, June 22, 2013
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Got cash?
This young girl selling lemonade across from the crazy "God Hates Fags" church like place in Kansas is still raising money, even after the homo-hating idiots from the Westboro Baptist "Church" insulted just about anyone who breaths.
So, if you are like me and you like to donate to people doing good things, follow this link. She wanted to raise 500 dollars and already as over 20 thousand. It's a great cause and an even better way to tell the Fred Phelps crowd that more people like equality and justice than hate and fear. Here's the link.
So, if you are like me and you like to donate to people doing good things, follow this link. She wanted to raise 500 dollars and already as over 20 thousand. It's a great cause and an even better way to tell the Fred Phelps crowd that more people like equality and justice than hate and fear. Here's the link.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Verizon Wireless douche contest
When I am not complaining on the phone negotiating with the worlds crappiest customer service available from Comcast about their joke of a high speed internet, I have taken up a new hobby and that is trying to get my Galaxy S3 phone to work properly.
A little history, I am an Apple goofball and there are about 17 million computers in my house, all Apples. Everything on those Apple computers synchs and dances and makes life very easy. A few months ago, in a drunken stupor, I stumbled into a Verizon store and some handsome little geek talked me into dumping my Iphone for a really pretty Galaxy S3. I am generally a fool, but trading in a fine Apple phone for a clunky, disturbingly bad Samsung piece of crap was the biggest mistake I made that day.
Finally fed up with a phone that is the same size as my Fiat 500 I made my way to that very same Verizon store this afternoon, where a snarky, angry and bitter young woman basically told me I am a fat, stupid and obnoxious Jew.
She also spewed a million little lies, which like paper cuts, seem harmless at first, but when you get home, you realize all those cuts are bleeding you dry.
This vamp of a skeeze recommended I just buy a refurbished Apple Iphone, which sounds really easy to do, until you find out Apple does not sell refurbished phones.
Upon realizing I have been lied to, I called the good people at Verizon and spoke with some dude in a far off location, who kept repeating a mantra of “how can I make this right for you?” When I explained the series of lies and deceptions I had been a victim of, the hick at the Verizon call center said, in short, “how about you go fuck yourself?”
I was shocked, because I thought Comcast had cornered the market on people who barely speak English, except to insult the intelligence of their customers.
Verizon has offered to send me another Galaxy phone, which would make an inadequate paper weight, and nothing more. Which leaves me, right now, on hold, as the nice and friendly young man at an unknown far off call center is calling the crazy woman who lied about how great Verizon really is.
So, between a few months of worsening internet service brought to me by the drones and nimrods at Comcast, I now get to spend my afternoon speaking to a faceless and inconsiderate moron who is offering nothing more than a crappy over sized phone and some off handed jokes about sometimes people make mistakes when choosing a “better” phone.
This then is the amazing world of customer service in America. Say whatever the customer wants to hear (we will fix your internet, you can buy a refurbished phone from Apple) and then secretly hang up the phone and hope those unhappy customers forget how to dial, of if they are a Verizon Wireless customer, their phone will just die and lose contact information anyway.
It’s a brave new world. The only good thing I realized today is that if the National Security Administration is looking at my cell phone records, they will only find a series of very long calls to call centers around the world getting the same runaround no matter where you call from or what your issue is.
A little history, I am an Apple goofball and there are about 17 million computers in my house, all Apples. Everything on those Apple computers synchs and dances and makes life very easy. A few months ago, in a drunken stupor, I stumbled into a Verizon store and some handsome little geek talked me into dumping my Iphone for a really pretty Galaxy S3. I am generally a fool, but trading in a fine Apple phone for a clunky, disturbingly bad Samsung piece of crap was the biggest mistake I made that day.
Finally fed up with a phone that is the same size as my Fiat 500 I made my way to that very same Verizon store this afternoon, where a snarky, angry and bitter young woman basically told me I am a fat, stupid and obnoxious Jew.
She also spewed a million little lies, which like paper cuts, seem harmless at first, but when you get home, you realize all those cuts are bleeding you dry.
This vamp of a skeeze recommended I just buy a refurbished Apple Iphone, which sounds really easy to do, until you find out Apple does not sell refurbished phones.
Upon realizing I have been lied to, I called the good people at Verizon and spoke with some dude in a far off location, who kept repeating a mantra of “how can I make this right for you?” When I explained the series of lies and deceptions I had been a victim of, the hick at the Verizon call center said, in short, “how about you go fuck yourself?”
I was shocked, because I thought Comcast had cornered the market on people who barely speak English, except to insult the intelligence of their customers.
Verizon has offered to send me another Galaxy phone, which would make an inadequate paper weight, and nothing more. Which leaves me, right now, on hold, as the nice and friendly young man at an unknown far off call center is calling the crazy woman who lied about how great Verizon really is.
So, between a few months of worsening internet service brought to me by the drones and nimrods at Comcast, I now get to spend my afternoon speaking to a faceless and inconsiderate moron who is offering nothing more than a crappy over sized phone and some off handed jokes about sometimes people make mistakes when choosing a “better” phone.
This then is the amazing world of customer service in America. Say whatever the customer wants to hear (we will fix your internet, you can buy a refurbished phone from Apple) and then secretly hang up the phone and hope those unhappy customers forget how to dial, of if they are a Verizon Wireless customer, their phone will just die and lose contact information anyway.
It’s a brave new world. The only good thing I realized today is that if the National Security Administration is looking at my cell phone records, they will only find a series of very long calls to call centers around the world getting the same runaround no matter where you call from or what your issue is.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
Dunkin Donut, now home of the truly insane
So I saw this video and it just made me want to toss my donuts. Just because people have cameras (used badly) on their cellphones does not really give them the right to be entitled, racist losers. Although, I'd imagine they were entitled, racist losers long before they got a cellphone.
A word of advice
Like my friend the Great White Shark always used to tell me, if you are not swimming, you’re drowning.
A lot of people ask if I ever sell the posters and paintings that appear every now and then on this blog and I always say, “why of course” but then I hardly ever update the page that offers these colorful gems. Now I have and I took the precious time to add a PayPal link, making it almost comically easy to purchase one.
So, if you are like billions of other Earth residents, you probably could use some color in your life, especially at a super affordable price. Click here to check out what is available and then buy all of them at once, just to make my life that much easier.
A lot of people ask if I ever sell the posters and paintings that appear every now and then on this blog and I always say, “why of course” but then I hardly ever update the page that offers these colorful gems. Now I have and I took the precious time to add a PayPal link, making it almost comically easy to purchase one.
So, if you are like billions of other Earth residents, you probably could use some color in your life, especially at a super affordable price. Click here to check out what is available and then buy all of them at once, just to make my life that much easier.
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Comcast twists the knife
For about 6 months I have been the slowest turtle in the old internet connectivity race. Oh sure, I pay for the fastest internet speeds available, but I have never actually received those, or even close.
Sometimes, because I am both a masochist and stupid, I log onto the Comcast site and eventually end up “chatting” with a Comcast drone. Over the last 6 months Concast has seen fit to send 5 technicians to my house, replacing wires, connections and the Comcast modem. Nothing has worked.
Just yesterday I posted one of these online chats with a Comcast representative named “Arnold.” I put the name in quotation marks because Comcast chat and call centers are located in a land where English is forbidden and lying is rewarded.
Since Comcast knows how to twist the knife, I received this comment to that post.
“Hi Arnold,
I work for Comcast and I just wanted to leave a note of apology for the trouble. I would also like to help in getting this resolved for you. If you’re interested in my help, please feel free to contact me. On your reply, please add a link to this page as a point of reference.
Thanks,
ComcastMark
National Customer Operations
We_can_help@cable.comcast.com”
So, of course, since it has been half a year since Comcast has been unable/unwilling to resolve my terrible internet speeds (all the while charging me for this Blast service that has never existed in our house) I sent an email immediately to ComcastMark.
One of the first topics Comcast must teach all its employees is this tactic, pretend to care, offer to help, tell everyone you will escalate their issue and then, and only then, delete all conversations and do not do anything, ever.
I have yet to hear back from ComcastMark, possibly because on his side of the world, it is still evening. I wait though, because at this point in my dysfunctional relationship with all things Comcast, I am kind of enjoying the abuse.
Sometimes, because I am both a masochist and stupid, I log onto the Comcast site and eventually end up “chatting” with a Comcast drone. Over the last 6 months Concast has seen fit to send 5 technicians to my house, replacing wires, connections and the Comcast modem. Nothing has worked.
Just yesterday I posted one of these online chats with a Comcast representative named “Arnold.” I put the name in quotation marks because Comcast chat and call centers are located in a land where English is forbidden and lying is rewarded.
Since Comcast knows how to twist the knife, I received this comment to that post.
“Hi Arnold,
I work for Comcast and I just wanted to leave a note of apology for the trouble. I would also like to help in getting this resolved for you. If you’re interested in my help, please feel free to contact me. On your reply, please add a link to this page as a point of reference.
Thanks,
ComcastMark
National Customer Operations
We_can_help@cable.comcast.com”
So, of course, since it has been half a year since Comcast has been unable/unwilling to resolve my terrible internet speeds (all the while charging me for this Blast service that has never existed in our house) I sent an email immediately to ComcastMark.
One of the first topics Comcast must teach all its employees is this tactic, pretend to care, offer to help, tell everyone you will escalate their issue and then, and only then, delete all conversations and do not do anything, ever.
I have yet to hear back from ComcastMark, possibly because on his side of the world, it is still evening. I wait though, because at this point in my dysfunctional relationship with all things Comcast, I am kind of enjoying the abuse.
Scary (real) headlines
New Drama For Justin Bieber - Kourtney Kardashian Straps On A Fake Penis - Just A Huge 'Hole' In The Sun.
The Dunkin' Donuts Breakfast Sandwich - Get Down With Clams - Republican: Atheist Chaplains Would Call Fallen Soldiers 'Worm Food'
People Who Have This Type Of Sex May Be Healthier - GOP Politician: Yoga May Leave You Vulnerable To Satanic Possession - You Won't Believe What This Tiger Does Next.
The Dunkin' Donuts Breakfast Sandwich - Get Down With Clams - Republican: Atheist Chaplains Would Call Fallen Soldiers 'Worm Food'
People Who Have This Type Of Sex May Be Healthier - GOP Politician: Yoga May Leave You Vulnerable To Satanic Possession - You Won't Believe What This Tiger Does Next.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Maybe Comcast just hates Jews
Since January our little home has been hobbled by the slowest internet connection since dial up. In the ensuring months we have been visited by 5 Comcast technicians who trundled around our house, blaming everything from a modem to a hungry squirrel. Yesterdays technician could not find a single thing wrong, although he did not look, so there's that. Instead he blamed it on some super secret issue located "off-site".
With Comcast you can pay for all sorts of services, from super slow to "blast" which is supposed to be incredibly fast. We pay for Blast and never receive anything near what they promise.
So, Comcast offers an online chat that allows customers to discuss issues with qualified and technically advanced "specialists" often located in a far off call center in a poor undeveloped country.
I did another series of Speed Tests this morning to see if my speed had improved. I found that, like the speeds over the past 6 months, I still had slow speeds that only compete with people who either have no internet or some sort of "scream out your window to communicate with others" sort of speeds.
Here is how this mornings chat played out.
Matt: My Issue: Had a technician over yesterday to repair incredible slow "blast" service. He said it was in the line somewhere else, not my house. I just did a series of speed checks and I remain about a tenth of what it should be. 5 months and waiting for BLAST!
analyst Arnold has entered room
Arnold: Hello Matt, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Arnold. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Matt: OK
Arnold: I am here to provide you with excellent customer service today. Please be assured I will do my best to help you with your concern.
Matt: LOL
Arnold: I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing slow internet connection, Matt. I know how important for us to enjoy the service that we are paying for.
Arnold: Let's take a few minute to pinpoint where the problem is and work to get this fixed as soon as possible for you.
Arnold: Would you mind to give me 2 minutes as I pull up your account information?
Matt: Five months and waiting Arnold. Five visits from Comcast experts, including yet another yesterday.
Matt: Oh, sure, review away.
Arnold: Sending a technician would be our last option here in chat. However, since there was one set up yesterday, let us further review the possible cause of this issue for you.
Arnold: I have your account open in our system.
Matt: Oh boy...
Arnold: I see it here that you're using a Wireless Gateway Modem.
Matt: Wireless Comcast modem
Arnold: Yes/
Arnold: Did I say something to offend you?
Matt: Comcast always offers the same chat, will check, run some sort of test, decide that I indeed have slow service and offer no plan to repair it. It's been 5 months Arnold, you don't offend me, your corporation lies and never repairs. Why do I pay for "blast" when my speeds are slower than dial up?
Arnold: I understand how frustrating this might be, I apologize for the inconvenience and I am not just saying it. Rest assured I will do everything within my means to address your concern today the best possible way that I can.
Arnold: I don't see anything on your account that would be causing this issue and there are no known service maintenance in your area. We will need to perform a few troubleshooting steps to further investigate the problem. I hope you have time to troubleshoot with me. But then again, please let me set proper expectation that sending our technician would still be our last option here in chat .
Matt: Where are you located Arnold?
Arnold: We are situated offshore, Matt.
Arnold: Would you mind if we will troubleshoot your connection first to check if this improves your connection?
Matt: You can, but it has been done dozens of times. The technician said yesterday the problem was in a "nood" that would be repaired, someday. What I would appreciate is if Comcast refunded me all the "blast" charges I have paid, since this service appears to be non-existant.
Arnold: No problem. Let us attempt to resolve this here in chat. I will make sure that the modem is activated and provisioned properly. I will also send correctional signals to the modem.
Arnold: Let me begin processing it now. We might get disconnected for 2 minutes but no worries I will be back then.
Arnold: Alright?
Matt: No
Matt: The last time a Comcast chatter from some foreign land wanted to send anything remote to my modem, it knocked it out completely for hours.
Matt: Please send a notice to Comcast that this customer would appreciate it if they actually did what they promised.
Arnold: Oh, okay. No problem. I will not complete the process as requested.
Arnold: This chat is evaluated by Quality Officer and we would surely take note of this for you.
Matt: How about complete the job started in January? Repairing your service so I get what I have been paying for during the last 6 months?
Arnold: Sir, I can understand your frustration, and believe me you have every right to be upset. I promise I’ll do everything within my power to help you out.
Arnold: What I can do to further elevate this issue that is ongoing for months already is to submit a Ticket to our Escalations Team.
Matt: What sort of power will you be utilizing to help me out?
Arnold: Our Tier 2 partners will investigate the account, coordinate with our local office to completely identify and correct the problem for you.
Matt: Please submit this ticket, I am sure the Escalations Team should be familiar with this on-going issue.
Matt: Just so you know Arnold I have had two tier two technicians visit me in the last 2 weeks.
Arnold: I checked the account and indeed multiple and chronic issue has been reported.
Arnold: Yes, it would be impractical for the 2 of us to set up an appointment for now.
Matt: Yay!
Matt: Please do what you can
Arnold: It is something that needs to be dealt with right away. I am escalating this for you. Please provide me with a good contact number and time of day to get in touch with you.
Arnold: Did you receive my last message?
Matt: I logged in with my phone number. It's in my account. It should be right in front of you Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, I am asking for your preferred and reliable call back number only, not the account number.
Arnold: Also, may I please have your email address , Matt?
Matt: The number you already have will suffice.
Matt: All numbers and contact information are in my account Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, alright. Thanks for letting me know.
Matt: Good day sir
Arnold: I am sorry, but
Arnold: can you please provide me your reliable contact number and email address before we part ways?
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: I am making a full details of the problem to make sure this would be a valid ticket to be prioritized by our Escalations Team. Would you mind if I ask for the needed information to fill out and complete the report for you?
Matt: You have all my information already, Arnold. It is both in my file, which I am sure you have access to and you also got it all when I logged into your chat system.
Matt: Good Day sir.
Arnold: No problem.This has been escalated to our support team who will further investigate this for a resolution. They need to contact you for further information and update on the number listed on the account.
Arnold: Thanks for bringing this out to our attention and rest assured that this will be ironed out by our partners in Escalations Team.
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: Will there be anything else you need assistance or anything you want to clarify with the process?
Arnold: Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at http://www.comcast.com/corporate/Customer
Matt: Good Day
Arnold: Thank you for choosing Comcast as your service provider, Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. We listen to our customers and want to hear about your experience chatting with us. I hope that you will take the survey that follows after our interaction. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at www.Comcast.net to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us at 1-800-XFINITY (1-800-9346429). Have a good one, Matt!
Matt: You have a good one too Arnold.
Arnold: Good bye for now. Take care!
The analyst has left and your issue has been closed.
Arnold: Analyst has closed chat and left the room
With Comcast you can pay for all sorts of services, from super slow to "blast" which is supposed to be incredibly fast. We pay for Blast and never receive anything near what they promise.
So, Comcast offers an online chat that allows customers to discuss issues with qualified and technically advanced "specialists" often located in a far off call center in a poor undeveloped country.
I did another series of Speed Tests this morning to see if my speed had improved. I found that, like the speeds over the past 6 months, I still had slow speeds that only compete with people who either have no internet or some sort of "scream out your window to communicate with others" sort of speeds.
Here is how this mornings chat played out.
Matt: My Issue: Had a technician over yesterday to repair incredible slow "blast" service. He said it was in the line somewhere else, not my house. I just did a series of speed checks and I remain about a tenth of what it should be. 5 months and waiting for BLAST!
analyst Arnold has entered room
Arnold: Hello Matt, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Arnold. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Matt: OK
Arnold: I am here to provide you with excellent customer service today. Please be assured I will do my best to help you with your concern.
Matt: LOL
Arnold: I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing slow internet connection, Matt. I know how important for us to enjoy the service that we are paying for.
Arnold: Let's take a few minute to pinpoint where the problem is and work to get this fixed as soon as possible for you.
Arnold: Would you mind to give me 2 minutes as I pull up your account information?
Matt: Five months and waiting Arnold. Five visits from Comcast experts, including yet another yesterday.
Matt: Oh, sure, review away.
Arnold: Sending a technician would be our last option here in chat. However, since there was one set up yesterday, let us further review the possible cause of this issue for you.
Arnold: I have your account open in our system.
Matt: Oh boy...
Arnold: I see it here that you're using a Wireless Gateway Modem.
Matt: Wireless Comcast modem
Arnold: Yes/
Arnold: Did I say something to offend you?
Matt: Comcast always offers the same chat, will check, run some sort of test, decide that I indeed have slow service and offer no plan to repair it. It's been 5 months Arnold, you don't offend me, your corporation lies and never repairs. Why do I pay for "blast" when my speeds are slower than dial up?
Arnold: I understand how frustrating this might be, I apologize for the inconvenience and I am not just saying it. Rest assured I will do everything within my means to address your concern today the best possible way that I can.
Arnold: I don't see anything on your account that would be causing this issue and there are no known service maintenance in your area. We will need to perform a few troubleshooting steps to further investigate the problem. I hope you have time to troubleshoot with me. But then again, please let me set proper expectation that sending our technician would still be our last option here in chat .
Matt: Where are you located Arnold?
Arnold: We are situated offshore, Matt.
Arnold: Would you mind if we will troubleshoot your connection first to check if this improves your connection?
Matt: You can, but it has been done dozens of times. The technician said yesterday the problem was in a "nood" that would be repaired, someday. What I would appreciate is if Comcast refunded me all the "blast" charges I have paid, since this service appears to be non-existant.
Arnold: No problem. Let us attempt to resolve this here in chat. I will make sure that the modem is activated and provisioned properly. I will also send correctional signals to the modem.
Arnold: Let me begin processing it now. We might get disconnected for 2 minutes but no worries I will be back then.
Arnold: Alright?
Matt: No
Matt: The last time a Comcast chatter from some foreign land wanted to send anything remote to my modem, it knocked it out completely for hours.
Matt: Please send a notice to Comcast that this customer would appreciate it if they actually did what they promised.
Arnold: Oh, okay. No problem. I will not complete the process as requested.
Arnold: This chat is evaluated by Quality Officer and we would surely take note of this for you.
Matt: How about complete the job started in January? Repairing your service so I get what I have been paying for during the last 6 months?
Arnold: Sir, I can understand your frustration, and believe me you have every right to be upset. I promise I’ll do everything within my power to help you out.
Arnold: What I can do to further elevate this issue that is ongoing for months already is to submit a Ticket to our Escalations Team.
Matt: What sort of power will you be utilizing to help me out?
Arnold: Our Tier 2 partners will investigate the account, coordinate with our local office to completely identify and correct the problem for you.
Matt: Please submit this ticket, I am sure the Escalations Team should be familiar with this on-going issue.
Matt: Just so you know Arnold I have had two tier two technicians visit me in the last 2 weeks.
Arnold: I checked the account and indeed multiple and chronic issue has been reported.
Arnold: Yes, it would be impractical for the 2 of us to set up an appointment for now.
Matt: Yay!
Matt: Please do what you can
Arnold: It is something that needs to be dealt with right away. I am escalating this for you. Please provide me with a good contact number and time of day to get in touch with you.
Arnold: Did you receive my last message?
Matt: I logged in with my phone number. It's in my account. It should be right in front of you Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, I am asking for your preferred and reliable call back number only, not the account number.
Arnold: Also, may I please have your email address , Matt?
Matt: The number you already have will suffice.
Matt: All numbers and contact information are in my account Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, alright. Thanks for letting me know.
Matt: Good day sir
Arnold: I am sorry, but
Arnold: can you please provide me your reliable contact number and email address before we part ways?
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: I am making a full details of the problem to make sure this would be a valid ticket to be prioritized by our Escalations Team. Would you mind if I ask for the needed information to fill out and complete the report for you?
Matt: You have all my information already, Arnold. It is both in my file, which I am sure you have access to and you also got it all when I logged into your chat system.
Matt: Good Day sir.
Arnold: No problem.This has been escalated to our support team who will further investigate this for a resolution. They need to contact you for further information and update on the number listed on the account.
Arnold: Thanks for bringing this out to our attention and rest assured that this will be ironed out by our partners in Escalations Team.
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: Will there be anything else you need assistance or anything you want to clarify with the process?
Arnold: Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at http://www.comcast.com/corporate/Customer
Matt: Good Day
Arnold: Thank you for choosing Comcast as your service provider, Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. We listen to our customers and want to hear about your experience chatting with us. I hope that you will take the survey that follows after our interaction. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at www.Comcast.net to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us at 1-800-XFINITY (1-800-9346429). Have a good one, Matt!
Matt: You have a good one too Arnold.
Arnold: Good bye for now. Take care!
The analyst has left and your issue has been closed.
Arnold: Analyst has closed chat and left the room
Maybe Comcast just hates Jews
Since January our little home has been hobbled by the slowest internet connection since dial up. In the ensuring months we have been visited by 5 Comcast technicians who trundled around our house, blaming everything from a modem to a hungry squirrel. Yesterdays technician could not find a single thing wrong, although he did not look, so there's that. Instead he blamed it on some super secret issue located "off-site".
With Comcast you can pay for all sorts of services, from super slow to "blast" which is supposed to be incredibly fast. We pay for Blast and never receive anything near what they promise.
So, Comcast offers an online chat that allows customers to discuss issues with qualified and technically advanced "specialists" often located in a far off call center in a poor undeveloped country.
I did another series of Speed Tests this morning to see if my speed had improved. I found that, like the speeds over the past 6 months, I still had slow speeds that only compete with people who either have no internet or some sort of "scream out your window to communicate with others" sort of speeds.
Here is how this mornings chat played out.
Matt: My Issue: Had a technician over yesterday to repair incredible slow "blast" service. He said it was in the line somewhere else, not my house. I just did a series of speed checks and I remain about a tenth of what it should be. 5 months and waiting for BLAST!
analyst Arnold has entered room
Arnold: Hello Matt, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Arnold. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Matt: OK
Arnold: I am here to provide you with excellent customer service today. Please be assured I will do my best to help you with your concern.
Matt: LOL
Arnold: I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing slow internet connection, Matt. I know how important for us to enjoy the service that we are paying for.
Arnold: Let's take a few minute to pinpoint where the problem is and work to get this fixed as soon as possible for you.
Arnold: Would you mind to give me 2 minutes as I pull up your account information?
Matt: Five months and waiting Arnold. Five visits from Comcast experts, including yet another yesterday.
Matt: Oh, sure, review away.
Arnold: Sending a technician would be our last option here in chat. However, since there was one set up yesterday, let us further review the possible cause of this issue for you.
Arnold: I have your account open in our system.
Matt: Oh boy...
Arnold: I see it here that you're using a Wireless Gateway Modem.
Matt: Wireless Comcast modem
Arnold: Yes/
Arnold: Did I say something to offend you?
Matt: Comcast always offers the same chat, will check, run some sort of test, decide that I indeed have slow service and offer no plan to repair it. It's been 5 months Arnold, you don't offend me, your corporation lies and never repairs. Why do I pay for "blast" when my speeds are slower than dial up?
Arnold: I understand how frustrating this might be, I apologize for the inconvenience and I am not just saying it. Rest assured I will do everything within my means to address your concern today the best possible way that I can.
Arnold: I don't see anything on your account that would be causing this issue and there are no known service maintenance in your area. We will need to perform a few troubleshooting steps to further investigate the problem. I hope you have time to troubleshoot with me. But then again, please let me set proper expectation that sending our technician would still be our last option here in chat .
Matt: Where are you located Arnold?
Arnold: We are situated offshore, Matt.
Arnold: Would you mind if we will troubleshoot your connection first to check if this improves your connection?
Matt: You can, but it has been done dozens of times. The technician said yesterday the problem was in a "nood" that would be repaired, someday. What I would appreciate is if Comcast refunded me all the "blast" charges I have paid, since this service appears to be non-existant.
Arnold: No problem. Let us attempt to resolve this here in chat. I will make sure that the modem is activated and provisioned properly. I will also send correctional signals to the modem.
Arnold: Let me begin processing it now. We might get disconnected for 2 minutes but no worries I will be back then.
Arnold: Alright?
Matt: No
Matt: The last time a Comcast chatter from some foreign land wanted to send anything remote to my modem, it knocked it out completely for hours.
Matt: Please send a notice to Comcast that this customer would appreciate it if they actually did what they promised.
Arnold: Oh, okay. No problem. I will not complete the process as requested.
Arnold: This chat is evaluated by Quality Officer and we would surely take note of this for you.
Matt: How about complete the job started in January? Repairing your service so I get what I have been paying for during the last 6 months?
Arnold: Sir, I can understand your frustration, and believe me you have every right to be upset. I promise I’ll do everything within my power to help you out.
Arnold: What I can do to further elevate this issue that is ongoing for months already is to submit a Ticket to our Escalations Team.
Matt: What sort of power will you be utilizing to help me out?
Arnold: Our Tier 2 partners will investigate the account, coordinate with our local office to completely identify and correct the problem for you.
Matt: Please submit this ticket, I am sure the Escalations Team should be familiar with this on-going issue.
Matt: Just so you know Arnold I have had two tier two technicians visit me in the last 2 weeks.
Arnold: I checked the account and indeed multiple and chronic issue has been reported.
Arnold: Yes, it would be impractical for the 2 of us to set up an appointment for now.
Matt: Yay!
Matt: Please do what you can
Arnold: It is something that needs to be dealt with right away. I am escalating this for you. Please provide me with a good contact number and time of day to get in touch with you.
Arnold: Did you receive my last message?
Matt: I logged in with my phone number. It's in my account. It should be right in front of you Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, I am asking for your preferred and reliable call back number only, not the account number.
Arnold: Also, may I please have your email address , Matt?
Matt: The number you already have will suffice.
Matt: All numbers and contact information are in my account Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, alright. Thanks for letting me know.
Matt: Good day sir
Arnold: I am sorry, but
Arnold: can you please provide me your reliable contact number and email address before we part ways?
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: I am making a full details of the problem to make sure this would be a valid ticket to be prioritized by our Escalations Team. Would you mind if I ask for the needed information to fill out and complete the report for you?
Matt: You have all my information already, Arnold. It is both in my file, which I am sure you have access to and you also got it all when I logged into your chat system.
Matt: Good Day sir.
Arnold: No problem.This has been escalated to our support team who will further investigate this for a resolution. They need to contact you for further information and update on the number listed on the account.
Arnold: Thanks for bringing this out to our attention and rest assured that this will be ironed out by our partners in Escalations Team.
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: Will there be anything else you need assistance or anything you want to clarify with the process?
Arnold: Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at http://www.comcast.com/corporate/Customer
Matt: Good Day
Arnold: Thank you for choosing Comcast as your service provider, Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. We listen to our customers and want to hear about your experience chatting with us. I hope that you will take the survey that follows after our interaction. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at www.Comcast.net to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us at 1-800-XFINITY (1-800-9346429). Have a good one, Matt!
Matt: You have a good one too Arnold.
Arnold: Good bye for now. Take care!
The analyst has left and your issue has been closed.
Arnold: Analyst has closed chat and left the room
With Comcast you can pay for all sorts of services, from super slow to "blast" which is supposed to be incredibly fast. We pay for Blast and never receive anything near what they promise.
So, Comcast offers an online chat that allows customers to discuss issues with qualified and technically advanced "specialists" often located in a far off call center in a poor undeveloped country.
I did another series of Speed Tests this morning to see if my speed had improved. I found that, like the speeds over the past 6 months, I still had slow speeds that only compete with people who either have no internet or some sort of "scream out your window to communicate with others" sort of speeds.
Here is how this mornings chat played out.
Matt: My Issue: Had a technician over yesterday to repair incredible slow "blast" service. He said it was in the line somewhere else, not my house. I just did a series of speed checks and I remain about a tenth of what it should be. 5 months and waiting for BLAST!
analyst Arnold has entered room
Arnold: Hello Matt, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Arnold. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Matt: OK
Arnold: I am here to provide you with excellent customer service today. Please be assured I will do my best to help you with your concern.
Matt: LOL
Arnold: I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing slow internet connection, Matt. I know how important for us to enjoy the service that we are paying for.
Arnold: Let's take a few minute to pinpoint where the problem is and work to get this fixed as soon as possible for you.
Arnold: Would you mind to give me 2 minutes as I pull up your account information?
Matt: Five months and waiting Arnold. Five visits from Comcast experts, including yet another yesterday.
Matt: Oh, sure, review away.
Arnold: Sending a technician would be our last option here in chat. However, since there was one set up yesterday, let us further review the possible cause of this issue for you.
Arnold: I have your account open in our system.
Matt: Oh boy...
Arnold: I see it here that you're using a Wireless Gateway Modem.
Matt: Wireless Comcast modem
Arnold: Yes/
Arnold: Did I say something to offend you?
Matt: Comcast always offers the same chat, will check, run some sort of test, decide that I indeed have slow service and offer no plan to repair it. It's been 5 months Arnold, you don't offend me, your corporation lies and never repairs. Why do I pay for "blast" when my speeds are slower than dial up?
Arnold: I understand how frustrating this might be, I apologize for the inconvenience and I am not just saying it. Rest assured I will do everything within my means to address your concern today the best possible way that I can.
Arnold: I don't see anything on your account that would be causing this issue and there are no known service maintenance in your area. We will need to perform a few troubleshooting steps to further investigate the problem. I hope you have time to troubleshoot with me. But then again, please let me set proper expectation that sending our technician would still be our last option here in chat .
Matt: Where are you located Arnold?
Arnold: We are situated offshore, Matt.
Arnold: Would you mind if we will troubleshoot your connection first to check if this improves your connection?
Matt: You can, but it has been done dozens of times. The technician said yesterday the problem was in a "nood" that would be repaired, someday. What I would appreciate is if Comcast refunded me all the "blast" charges I have paid, since this service appears to be non-existant.
Arnold: No problem. Let us attempt to resolve this here in chat. I will make sure that the modem is activated and provisioned properly. I will also send correctional signals to the modem.
Arnold: Let me begin processing it now. We might get disconnected for 2 minutes but no worries I will be back then.
Arnold: Alright?
Matt: No
Matt: The last time a Comcast chatter from some foreign land wanted to send anything remote to my modem, it knocked it out completely for hours.
Matt: Please send a notice to Comcast that this customer would appreciate it if they actually did what they promised.
Arnold: Oh, okay. No problem. I will not complete the process as requested.
Arnold: This chat is evaluated by Quality Officer and we would surely take note of this for you.
Matt: How about complete the job started in January? Repairing your service so I get what I have been paying for during the last 6 months?
Arnold: Sir, I can understand your frustration, and believe me you have every right to be upset. I promise I’ll do everything within my power to help you out.
Arnold: What I can do to further elevate this issue that is ongoing for months already is to submit a Ticket to our Escalations Team.
Matt: What sort of power will you be utilizing to help me out?
Arnold: Our Tier 2 partners will investigate the account, coordinate with our local office to completely identify and correct the problem for you.
Matt: Please submit this ticket, I am sure the Escalations Team should be familiar with this on-going issue.
Matt: Just so you know Arnold I have had two tier two technicians visit me in the last 2 weeks.
Arnold: I checked the account and indeed multiple and chronic issue has been reported.
Arnold: Yes, it would be impractical for the 2 of us to set up an appointment for now.
Matt: Yay!
Matt: Please do what you can
Arnold: It is something that needs to be dealt with right away. I am escalating this for you. Please provide me with a good contact number and time of day to get in touch with you.
Arnold: Did you receive my last message?
Matt: I logged in with my phone number. It's in my account. It should be right in front of you Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, I am asking for your preferred and reliable call back number only, not the account number.
Arnold: Also, may I please have your email address , Matt?
Matt: The number you already have will suffice.
Matt: All numbers and contact information are in my account Arnold.
Arnold: Oh, alright. Thanks for letting me know.
Matt: Good day sir
Arnold: I am sorry, but
Arnold: can you please provide me your reliable contact number and email address before we part ways?
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: I am making a full details of the problem to make sure this would be a valid ticket to be prioritized by our Escalations Team. Would you mind if I ask for the needed information to fill out and complete the report for you?
Matt: You have all my information already, Arnold. It is both in my file, which I am sure you have access to and you also got it all when I logged into your chat system.
Matt: Good Day sir.
Arnold: No problem.This has been escalated to our support team who will further investigate this for a resolution. They need to contact you for further information and update on the number listed on the account.
Arnold: Thanks for bringing this out to our attention and rest assured that this will be ironed out by our partners in Escalations Team.
Matt: I said Good Day Sir.
Arnold: Will there be anything else you need assistance or anything you want to clarify with the process?
Arnold: Our goal is to provide you with a consistently superior customer experience – that’s our guarantee. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at http://www.comcast.com/corporate/Customer
Matt: Good Day
Arnold: Thank you for choosing Comcast as your service provider, Comcast appreciates your business and values you as a customer. We listen to our customers and want to hear about your experience chatting with us. I hope that you will take the survey that follows after our interaction. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week). Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at www.Comcast.net to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us at 1-800-XFINITY (1-800-9346429). Have a good one, Matt!
Matt: You have a good one too Arnold.
Arnold: Good bye for now. Take care!
The analyst has left and your issue has been closed.
Arnold: Analyst has closed chat and left the room
Monday, June 3, 2013
What is the most influential song from your childhood?
I was at a party of like minded adults on Saturday, so inevitably I got bored, because if I wanted to talk to people who agreed with me on all the important topics of the day, I would listen to the voices in my head.
So, bored at this party in one of those new lofts that have ruined the return of the golden age of manufacturing, I was at a loss of what to do. By the way, it’s true, a lot of manufacturing concerns would love to move back to the crumbling cities, but all the good warehouse-type buildings have been gutted and turned into large, well appointed loft living spaces.
I started walking around the party, drink in hand and I began doing what I do at parties where I don’t know a lot of people and I am bored. I would walk up to a couple of strangers chatting and I would interrupt and I ask a poll question.
“Excuse me, hate to interrupt but I was just wondering, China or Russia?”
That was my Memorial Day bored out of my mind question. Saturday night, I was drawing a blank as I approached the first two people deep into a conversation, an interracial couple of unknown origin.
“Excuse me,” I began and my mind was blank, until I said, “you look like music lovers, who is the most influential song of your childhood?”
See how that worked? You let your mind go completely to blank and the best questions just explode out of your giant empty mouth.
But they both just drew a blank, so I continued. “Favorite band from your childhood?” That one they jumped on, he liked Paul Simon, she Madonna. I smiled and said, “so, about the most influential song?” Without missing a beat, they both had the same song, although neither was sure of the songs name.
I made my way through the crowd, interrupting at will, not bothering to introduce myself, just saying excuse me and asking if they had a favorite childhood band or singer. The results varied, Psychedelic Furs came up twice, which surprised me. Rolling Stones were mentioned 3-4 times, I did not write these down. Another idiot said Madonna. One gay man said Florence and the Machine. Some people named rap singers, but I’ll be dead 7 years before I try to figure out who they were actually naming. There was a variety, but the most interesting poll result of the night was this: over ninety five percent of the respondents had the same favorite song from their childhood.
To be honest, I was shocked, not because all these complete strangers, a diverse group of blue collar workers and doctors and lawyers and everyone else, but also people from twenty something to 70 plus in age.
Ninety Five percent chose the same song and when I went home and found it on YouTube all I could think about was how I sang every word to this song millions of times during the summer of my discontent.
So, bored at this party in one of those new lofts that have ruined the return of the golden age of manufacturing, I was at a loss of what to do. By the way, it’s true, a lot of manufacturing concerns would love to move back to the crumbling cities, but all the good warehouse-type buildings have been gutted and turned into large, well appointed loft living spaces.
I started walking around the party, drink in hand and I began doing what I do at parties where I don’t know a lot of people and I am bored. I would walk up to a couple of strangers chatting and I would interrupt and I ask a poll question.
“Excuse me, hate to interrupt but I was just wondering, China or Russia?”
That was my Memorial Day bored out of my mind question. Saturday night, I was drawing a blank as I approached the first two people deep into a conversation, an interracial couple of unknown origin.
“Excuse me,” I began and my mind was blank, until I said, “you look like music lovers, who is the most influential song of your childhood?”
See how that worked? You let your mind go completely to blank and the best questions just explode out of your giant empty mouth.
But they both just drew a blank, so I continued. “Favorite band from your childhood?” That one they jumped on, he liked Paul Simon, she Madonna. I smiled and said, “so, about the most influential song?” Without missing a beat, they both had the same song, although neither was sure of the songs name.
I made my way through the crowd, interrupting at will, not bothering to introduce myself, just saying excuse me and asking if they had a favorite childhood band or singer. The results varied, Psychedelic Furs came up twice, which surprised me. Rolling Stones were mentioned 3-4 times, I did not write these down. Another idiot said Madonna. One gay man said Florence and the Machine. Some people named rap singers, but I’ll be dead 7 years before I try to figure out who they were actually naming. There was a variety, but the most interesting poll result of the night was this: over ninety five percent of the respondents had the same favorite song from their childhood.
To be honest, I was shocked, not because all these complete strangers, a diverse group of blue collar workers and doctors and lawyers and everyone else, but also people from twenty something to 70 plus in age.
Ninety Five percent chose the same song and when I went home and found it on YouTube all I could think about was how I sang every word to this song millions of times during the summer of my discontent.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
From producers - Juicy Pink Box
Sure, straight women are reacting to lesbian porn, that's all well and good and you can find that all over the place, but wait for the production credit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)