Comcast twists the knife

For about 6 months I have been the slowest turtle in the old internet connectivity race. Oh sure, I pay for the fastest internet speeds available, but I have never actually received those, or even close.
Sometimes, because I am both a masochist and stupid, I log onto the Comcast site and eventually end up “chatting” with a Comcast drone. Over the last 6 months Concast has seen fit to send 5 technicians to my house, replacing wires, connections and the Comcast modem. Nothing has worked.
Just yesterday I posted one of these online chats with a Comcast representative named “Arnold.” I put the name in quotation marks because Comcast chat and call centers are located in a land where English is forbidden and lying is rewarded.
Since Comcast knows how to twist the knife, I received this comment to that post.

“Hi Arnold,
I work for Comcast and I just wanted to leave a note of apology for the trouble. I would also like to help in getting this resolved for you. If you’re interested in my help, please feel free to contact me. On your reply, please add a link to this page as a point of reference.
Thanks,
ComcastMark
National Customer Operations
We_can_help@cable.comcast.com”

So, of course, since it has been half a year since Comcast has been unable/unwilling to resolve my terrible internet speeds (all the while charging me for this Blast service that has never existed in our house) I sent an email immediately to ComcastMark.
One of the first topics Comcast must teach all its employees is this tactic, pretend to care, offer to help, tell everyone you will escalate their issue and then, and only then, delete all conversations and do not do anything, ever.
I have yet to hear back from ComcastMark, possibly because on his side of the world, it is still evening. I wait though, because at this point in my dysfunctional relationship with all things Comcast, I am kind of enjoying the abuse.