Monday, November 11, 2013

Election results

Last week, like what I presume is the experience of the vast majority of Americans, I went to my local polling place and voted. Today I checked on the local results and was shocked to see that once again my dog was not elected as city treasurer.
So, you snobs from around the country who think that a dog should not be a city treasurer, I assure you, my dog is more than qualified to be city treasurer of our ghetto than the majority of walking, talking, math knowing humans. First, she is wildly incompetent and second, she is completely corrupt and finally, she is usually way too busy grooming herself to care at all about anyone else’s business. Perfect for the job.
So, you must be asking yourself, how could my dog NOT get elected? I asked the same question, but first a sentence of history. Last week, no one was running for city treasurer, so I wrote her name in. How could she fail? That was my thinking. I actually lobbied for her. When my long term lover went to vote I offered up some top quality hot loving if a little ballot write in could be traded in for the city treasurer position. That apparently was not worth it.
I asked my neighbor if he would vote for my dog and he looked at me like I might be insane, which is a look he has given me more than I care to recall.
That’s when I realized that a campaign for ghetto city treasurer should not be started the afternoon of actual voting.
I did call the county registrar office this morning and found that they did have a tabulation of votes and was just a little surprised that my dog received four votes for city treasurer. So, while not that not enough to actually win the race, it was far more than I ever expected and a little shocking, which has left me wondering, who the hell actually took the time and wrote my dogs name in on the ballot and voted for my dog?

No comments:

Post a Comment