Dear Anonymous Letter Writer
First, I wanted to say I am sorry about those things I wrote about the topic that so upset you, because quite honestly, I did not get the memo that the entire world revolved around you and only you.
As you can probably imagine, I was shocked that I was left out of that particular loop, so I googled your name in search of the official memo, knowing it must be quite famous. Unfortunately, no such memo exists, although if I were you, I’d realize they publish your real name when you make frivolous police reports in your small New Jersey town.
So, like I said, I would be more than happy to send you all unpublished blog posts before I publish them, to make sure there is never anything that might offend your supremely fine tuned sensibilities, as soon as you can send me that particular memo naming you the person who is in charge of everything.
Until then, do what I do when I find something offensive, either post a public comment, or stop reading and move on.
Thanks again for all you bring to the table.
Hoping to stay in touch.
Matt
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