And now, a message...

Just because I wrote a book on my experiences following the strange and somewhat beautiful republican primary campaign, people think I am a tea bagging right wing nut case, and that is kind of true. More importantly, I am not a fan of Mittens Romney, mostly because he was unkind to me and to his super gay son Tumbleweed Romney.

That said, if you or someone you know is old or young, elderly and or middle aged, they should watch this video for production value and quite possibly a secret message.

Here we come

My fiance and I are going to Canton Ohio to convince idiots to vote for Obama. Wait, I should not say idiots. We will be working to get undecided morons to vote for the president, I believe that's better. Actually we will be going door to door to talk to people and hopefully explain why they should vote for the better candidate in this election, it's that simple.

I'm not sure of my exact motivation for going to Ohio, except that it looks like the election will be decided there and I got a call from the Ohio Obama campaign and I said yes. Plus, this election seems like one of those election that is real important.

Now, earlier this year Mitt Romney put a Mormon Curse on me by saying the word Ishkabibble over 7 times during a conversation we had. Today, during a press event in Ohio, the former magic underwear wearing robotic governor of Massachusetts was asked if he were elected president would he continue to fund FEMA and he mumbled Ishkabibble and got in his limo and disppeared.

Canton Ohio is supposed to be nice this time of the year.

Hello Sandy

The winds last night were windy and the rain was wet. That was it. I know, there are cities and towns around the East that are deeply underwater, and even parts that have been hit hard by the bitch Sandy the storm with a pretty name.

What does it all mean? It probably means that President Obama wins, because he is looking all presidential while silly little Mittens stands on the sidelines in a nice suit and a stupid look on his blank face wondering what his handlers will have him say.

I'm the reason...

That free book? Not so free...

Remember about a week ago we were all about giving away that great book about how Mitten Romney was able to beat out a Satan worshiper, a fat guy looking for wife number seven and a stoned out of his mind Texas governor to win the chance to lie about everything and become president? Do you remember? Good, cause a lot of you downloaded that book, something about Mannequins and Newt, something. Anyway, you got it for free and for that, everyone from Jesus to Bill Clinton thanks you. Seriously, I asked, they do.

But, and this is a big but, bigger than a Kardashian Butt, but...You must now loan that electronic wonder-book to all your friends. Loan away, don't be shy, you are not betraying your trust with Jesus or Bill Clinton, trust me, I asked. Loan it out as fast as you can to as many friends as you have, even the fake ones on Facebook. Yes, your fake friends want to read about Mannequins and Santorum, or whatever it's called. Do it, loan it, send it off to Cuba. Do what you must.

Mount Zion

Ohio bound

For a week now the good folks with the Ohio Obama campaign have been calling me asking desperately if I would like to come to Ohio and help out. How can things like this happen? Well, I did volunteer for the convention, so they have my name and phone number. Strange thing, because I also volunteered for the republican convention, but Mitt and his gang of dopey morons have yet to call and ask if I would be willing to help out.
Either way, my partner and I are off to Ohio this week to knock on doors and convince the lonely and inept to get out of their homes and vote for the current president. If they bother to ask me why, I will tell them I really don't know, although I did walk around the grounds of the White House last week and was real impressed with the garden the First Lady has had planted. A beautiful garden she has going and I imagine a Romney garden would not be so pretty.
I doubt stupid undecided voters in Ohio care much about gardens. In fact, if anyone is really undecided at this point, they would either be brain damaged, dead, or just so flat out stupid they should not be voting anyhow.
Either way, I will knock on doors and ask if they is anything I can do to help them get to the polls and vote. I do have some experience with this sort of thing. When I first moved to Seattle I took a job working for the George H. Bush campaign, which is the good Bush, not the evil two term Bush that everyone seems to hate, but his father, the silly older Bush that every seems to forget. I worked all sorts of slacker type jobs for the Puget Sound Bush campaign and it paid well at the time and one of the long running jokes was how Bush would win because we were all getting paid for our menial work and door knocking silliness while those poor democrats just had volunteers doing the grunt work. So now, here it is, some 22 years later, or something like that, and I am a volunteer for a democratic president, doing basically the same song and dance I did for elder Bush so many years ago.
The funny thing is, the Romney campaign is in such shambles that they do not have the on the ground operation to have people calling me and begging me and my partner to come to Ohio and help. Not that we would, Romney is a halloween horror show that is scary to adults and children alike.
See you in Ohio.