Life on the road with republican candidates running for president can become sort of a fraternity, if you wanted to join an all white, wealthy, boring, satanic worshiping, wife swapping fraternity. Actually now that I think about it, life on the road traveing with the republican candidates has been kind of fun.
I thought it would be interesting and easy to ask the candidates about their plans for the Super Bowl. The Super Bowl is the biggest sporting event in America, which makes it the seventh biggest sporting event in the world, right behind several soccer matches, a swim meet in Germany, a surfing competition in Australia and Bolshoi summer ballet tryouts. That is all true.
I dialed Ron Paul because he is always the easiest Republican candidate to find. The tiny congressman was napping under a tree in Sprinkly Goose Texas, his hometown. He answered on the 14th ring. He had handed me his cell number when we were hanging out in Iowa a few months ago. Suffice to say we did not part as friends and he has held a grudge against me when I publicized the true gossip that the elderly tiny candidate enjoys a concoction of meth, cough syrup and Viagra.
“This is Ron Paul.”
The rest of this can be found when it is published in "Dancing with Mannequins and Idiots" in June, 2012.
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