Happy and gay

Oh my gay brothers, do you really have any idea what it would mean to get married or serve in the military? See, I have not served in the military, although when I was 18 I tried. I did everything I could to join the Air Force, but in the end, I did not. I was married for 10 long and grueling years. It was a terrible time for both me and the country, but in the end I escaped.

Gays, my brothers and sisters, is there any sense about your desires? Oh sure, there are certain tax and insurance benefits from the paper that includes the word marriage. I can honestly tell you, do not do it.

But it is this talk of military service that is very strange. When I was begging to be part of the Air Force there was no war, it seemed like a couple of years of hijinks and silliness, but now we are at war all the time. If you join now it will not be pillow fights with buff marines, it will be sand battles with toothless Taliban.

Lucky for the gays, because always lovable Bill Clinton made a pact with the devils and outlawed any sort of gayness in the military back in the 90's. Remember the 90's? Wait, I was married in the 90's. The 90's were a dangerous and hectic time, filled with mixed messages and eternal damnation. If Bill Clinton did the gays any favors it was making sure they would not see serious military time for any possible upcoming wars.

Now of course, the gays want to be married, they want to serve openly in an army that loves and supports them. These gays may be insane, but that is not for me to judge. Let's leave it to the military leadership, who must just hate the idea of a bunch of homo's running around playing with their guns. Here then, the head of the Joint Chiefs, Admiral Mullen, take it away.

"“I cannot escape being troubled by the fact that we have in place a policy which forces young men and women to lie about who they are in order to defend their fellow citizens,” Mullen said during the Senate Armed Services Committee hearing on dropping the archaic “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. “For me personally, it comes down to integrity — theirs as individuals and ours as an institution.”

Oh my.

Anyone else ever get that sinking feeling when they see leadership actually support something that seemed impossible to support just a year or two ago? Hey gays, be careful what you wish for. In fact, when people start seriously allowing gays to marry, give me a call.