Saying goodbye

I am an optimist about many things. I do believe the economy will set itself right again, probably without the help from the government, but maybe not. I think people in general are good. I am a strong believer in love, not always at first sight, but that too is nice.

2009 was the end of a cycle for me. In January 2005 all sorts of things started that led to this sort of negative cycle that just seemed to feed upon itself. In the years after some things have played out a couple of times, people close to me rip me off, make promises that were as empty as the air it took to speak them, love came and went and came again, good friends remained, some did not. I lost my mother and some of my brain. A couple of businesses I started ended. I spent a winter of disconnect, wondering how the children and I would survive.

Then things somehow blossomed. Love returned in full bloom, a business that I had to kill because a corrupt bungler was damaging, came back to life, a portfolio of my creative work began to make the rounds, when it seemed impossible to ever imagine owning a house, I bought one for cash.

Work, love, health all seem to be stable and flourishing.

I think I had about as bad of a 2008-09 as many other Americans. Job losses, basic survivability and stepping back and trying to figure out what is important and what is not.

Here, on the official end of 2009 I feel strong and set to move forward. I know there are a lot of people right now wondering what the next step should be, how to survive in turbulent times, what more could go wrong. Sometimes it is easy to get depressed, or stay that way. I am a firm believer in focusing on what works and what you can control. In this economy, jobs are scarce. It can be hard to hold it together, but not impossible.

I hardly ever have advice for people. I do think it is OK to cut the fat from our lives, whether that means fewer meals in restaurants to leaving behind stagnant friendships or dead relationships. It might mean moving. I know, it is supposed to be stressful, but it has hardly ever been that for me.

Oh, I do have advice. Moving can be fun, but sell a lot of your shit before you do it. Last year I was living in this sort of depressed rural area in New York and when we were getting ready to move, we could not hold a garage sale because no one near us had the money to buy much of anything and certainly not the art I would have needed to sell. In the end I am happy I did not sell it, because we have moved into a large house that is perfect for housing art.

But if you must move, sell as much as possible. Really, what do you need in your life? A bed, cooking stuff and some towels. We spend so much time collecting things that are supposed to mean something to us, we get beholden to the stuff and forget the actual memories. Sell it off and start new.

There it is, the mantra of the end of 2009, sell it and start new.