The truth about honesty

I got a call from a fairly old friend who has not really spoken to me in over 12 months. He said that he and his wife may lose their home. She was laid off about 4 months ago, he just recently saw a severe cutback in hours and everything is tight. According to him, he is less than a paycheck away from falling behind on both mortgage payments and credit card payments.

He vented. When I began to offer some advice, like the wife taking any job to bring in some much needed money, he got kind of sketchy and had to go.

12 months and not a word. Then drama on that first phone call after a gulf of silence. Drama that seemed mostly self inflicted. See, one of the things I would have said was that when the wife lost her job, they would have been smart to stop all sorts of spending right there and cut expenses and she should immediately look for any work and take whatever came, and they should belt tighten like never before. I may have also told him that now is the time for all good artist types to accept money at every opportunity and not be choosey.

But instead I said something about his wife needing to help, and he was gone. I am not sure why he called. Even now, when I use the term friend for him, I think I am being stupid. He is not a friend. When I recently had a medical emergency, he was not an option for someone who should be called to watch the kids. A few years ago when tragedy in another form came for an extended stay, he was never informed. I did not call when I got ripped off by my business partner, nor for any other financial drama, and I have had a few. So now I am kind of steamed. Was he just going through his phone book, looking for sympathy and possible a loan?

There are often times in our lives when it is right to look at what makes a friend and define those qualities and then hold that defined term up agains tour list of friends and associates. Sorry my phone calling friend, but not only are you not really a friend, you would be well advised to keep you skidding drama to yourself. Or grow the balls to be honest and call your "friends" gently explain your financial health and beg for money. Otherwise you just come across as a user.