Since the dumb voters of Wisconsin have decided the robot in magic underwear is a better candidate to take on the black Jimmy Carter, at least better than the crazy Satan loving Santorum filled candidate, then we can all pack up our electronics and take a a well deserved vacation.
Mitt Romney will fly off to some country he purchased with his millions and millions of dollars and little Ricky Santorum will rush home to rural Pennsylvania with his gaggle of white bread children and realize that this politics game is a winner take all gambit, one in which he was not only ill-prepared, but also one in which he will never win anything more than small town dog catcher. Santorum is a nice guy, but he can’t help himself that his beliefs are those of an 1800’s preacher and America is an Adderall addicted video game playing nation of fools and illiterates and the only time we want religion is at a funeral or before the World Series, and Rick, guess what? No one watches baseball anymore, my lord man, those games go on for something like 8 or 9 innings, you have any idea how long that can last? Sometimes they go into overtime, or excess inning timing or some other stupid phrase the insiders use to appear knowledgeable about a game no one, and I mean no one, cares about. Go Pirates.
So, the little leagues have picked a winner and no surprise again, it’s Mitt Romney, the former governor from the most liberal gay marriage loving state in the union. Of course, Mitt hates the gays, hates the gay marriage thing, and really, when you think about it, who doesn’t hate gay marriage? Well, I don’t hate gay marriage, but I have been around the crowds of right wing knuckle draggers for the last few months and if there is one thing these people hate, it’s gay marriage. I’m not quite sure why. The pudgy white people all get together in a large room in a Sheraton or Holiday Inn express in some god forsaken city that you just know Mitt Romney had a hand in ruining back in the ‘90’s, and they rumble and chat about all the things the democrats have ruined in the last few years and one thing that always pops up are “the gays.”
The problem with hating gay marriage is that it is no longer some far off thing out there that does not exist. It’s not like the right wing nutters can just pretend it’s like Jar Jar Binks, a character everyone can hate for any reason they want, because it does not really exist, so you can hate it and your hate is deserved because in the end, Jar Jar is just fiction. For a long time, that was true of gay marriage, the nutters and haters and far right crazies could claim that if you allow gay marriage it will ruin the country, it will ruin the family, it will ruin the fundamental fabric of American society and of course it will lead to “man on dog” marriage-so said the brilliant Ricky Santorum.
The problem, of course, is that we now have gay marriage in a few states, Massachusetts, the former state run by none other that Willard Romney, a leader of gay marriage. What have we learned from states that allow gay people to marry? We have learned, get this, gay people marry. That’s about it. People fall in love, they commit to one another in a public ceremony, their friends and family get together to celebrate and everyone dances and has a good time. No goats get married, no fabric is unwound in the fundamental parts of our American life. Even dumb old Sarah Palin remains, well, dumb.
See how that works?
So gay marriage loving Mitt Romney is pretty much the official Republican Presidential Nominee. I guess we can all thank Santorum for that, which is what many gay weddings have to do too.
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