I am often torn by the actions of my fellow Americans. Sometimes I think we are all one, justa big happy family, with issues. Most times, I feel like I am an alien, visiting this planet, wondering about Wal Mart and obese people, football fans and men who seem filled with anger.
The day after an election almost always leaves me bewildered. Harry Reid survives, a politician I despise. Barney Frank lisps and prances to another 2 year term. The good witch from Delaware has to go back to no masturbation and looking in the mirror and questioning who is staring at her. Alaska remains my favorite state in the nation, mostly because it is quirky and possibly insane.
In the end I have learned something in my life. It is this, no matter what crazy idiot gets elected to almost any office, everything remains almost the same. With that in mind, here is Billy Bragg.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Winning is not everything
Well, after consulting with my attorney, Beth Libitard, I finally was able to pick out a system to choose a winner.
If you recently received an email announcing you are the winner, then you are the winner.
If not, then someone else won.
There you have it. Another contest, come and gone. Almost like tomorrows elections.
Speaking of which, as a die hard republican, I can only say I am somewhat excited about the possibilities of tomorrows election. That said, there are a large number of people running under the republican banner who are nothing like the republicans I so cherish. Some of these boobs, and Sarah Palin people I am talking to you, are so far right they make the usual cast of far right crazies seem almost sane.
Let's be real, republicans in the house and senate now are nothing to be proud of. These are the same game playing bullies we all went to school with, but now with fake tans and cheap suits. The danger of republicans taking complete control of congress is nothing. That's right, nothing. Why? Because for the last two years the already elected republicans have done everything in their power to stop legislation, negotiate in bad faith and basically cum up the system to such an extreme as to not allow anything to move forward.
Which just might be the way the founding fathers had hoped it would be, but I doubt it. See, things do need to get done every now and then, and with spray tans and bullshit philosophy, the republicans currently in office have basically allowed the country to stay in an almost depression state, just so they could run for office with the promise to change things.
I am kind of tired of fake people offering fake promises to do things that they know and we know will never happen. The only change these republicans want is the ability to impeach another sitting democratic president.
So, how am I voting tomorrow? I am voting to legalize marijuana so I can spend the next couple of years doing bong hits and not thinking about how screwed up our country has become.
If you recently received an email announcing you are the winner, then you are the winner.
If not, then someone else won.
There you have it. Another contest, come and gone. Almost like tomorrows elections.
Speaking of which, as a die hard republican, I can only say I am somewhat excited about the possibilities of tomorrows election. That said, there are a large number of people running under the republican banner who are nothing like the republicans I so cherish. Some of these boobs, and Sarah Palin people I am talking to you, are so far right they make the usual cast of far right crazies seem almost sane.
Let's be real, republicans in the house and senate now are nothing to be proud of. These are the same game playing bullies we all went to school with, but now with fake tans and cheap suits. The danger of republicans taking complete control of congress is nothing. That's right, nothing. Why? Because for the last two years the already elected republicans have done everything in their power to stop legislation, negotiate in bad faith and basically cum up the system to such an extreme as to not allow anything to move forward.
Which just might be the way the founding fathers had hoped it would be, but I doubt it. See, things do need to get done every now and then, and with spray tans and bullshit philosophy, the republicans currently in office have basically allowed the country to stay in an almost depression state, just so they could run for office with the promise to change things.
I am kind of tired of fake people offering fake promises to do things that they know and we know will never happen. The only change these republicans want is the ability to impeach another sitting democratic president.
So, how am I voting tomorrow? I am voting to legalize marijuana so I can spend the next couple of years doing bong hits and not thinking about how screwed up our country has become.
And the winner is...
As many of you know the contest for the massive shopping spree was held this past weekend. I have been overwhelmed with 17 or less word essays. While I am slowly working my way through them, I started to think, why even bother, why not just randomly pick someone?
Better yet, why hot randomly pick someone and then make them blog about it.
I'll keep you posted.
Better yet, why hot randomly pick someone and then make them blog about it.
I'll keep you posted.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
My gift to China
This morning my oldest daughter got on a plane on her way to China. That's right, China. That China. The real China. No fake General Tso bullshit, China china.
I have been thinking about this all day. First, this is a daughter who can handle herself on the world stage. My fear is that she will cause some sort of international incident while traveling. I have her my advice, which is generally, meet a super model on the plane and stay in your hotel room. This has worked for me in the past and I figure it is a decent way to see the world.
I asked her to guest blog while in China, but she refused. I asked her to clean her room too, same answer.
If there is an update, I will post it, but in the meantime, one of the worst parts of being a hands on parent is the day when your children become functioning adults. This may not be the case with this particular daughter, but the day is on the horizon and that is both great news and kind of sad.
I have been thinking about this all day. First, this is a daughter who can handle herself on the world stage. My fear is that she will cause some sort of international incident while traveling. I have her my advice, which is generally, meet a super model on the plane and stay in your hotel room. This has worked for me in the past and I figure it is a decent way to see the world.
I asked her to guest blog while in China, but she refused. I asked her to clean her room too, same answer.
If there is an update, I will post it, but in the meantime, one of the worst parts of being a hands on parent is the day when your children become functioning adults. This may not be the case with this particular daughter, but the day is on the horizon and that is both great news and kind of sad.
Because you are too busy
First, this just in. A poll in Seattle asked readers what would happen at the World Series tonight. Results are a little shocking. Many said the Giants would win, some thought Texas may win and the vast majority of voters thought that former president George Bush would be killed by rabid zombies. Thank you Seattle.
Here now, because you people are so fucking busy that you could not make it to Washington DC to celebrate fear, or sanity, or vaginas. Whatever. Some of the signs read:
"Is this the line for Justin Bieber tickets?"
"No more giant turd sandwiches politics."
"I'm here for the gangbang."
"Bacon is good for me."
"Number one threat to America, gay mexican muslim bears."
"This is fun, we should do it more often."
"Queers for fear."
"Ironically, this rally is insane."
Here now, because you people are so fucking busy that you could not make it to Washington DC to celebrate fear, or sanity, or vaginas. Whatever. Some of the signs read:
"Is this the line for Justin Bieber tickets?"
"No more giant turd sandwiches politics."
"I'm here for the gangbang."
"Bacon is good for me."
"Number one threat to America, gay mexican muslim bears."
"This is fun, we should do it more often."
"Queers for fear."
"Ironically, this rally is insane."
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Contest continues
That's right, 35 smackerinos are available if you can bother yourself to come up with 3-17 words in english. Send an email and explain why you, or someone else, could use 35 bucks. Then, if and when you win, you get a gift card at the CSN powerful websites of stuff.
All true.
Email mergatroidfilms@gmail.com and splain yourselfs.
Seriously.
I have received almost 30 emails, some went over the 17 word limit, which was unfortunate. Then again, they won't have to worry about how to spend 35 bucks.
Love you.
All true.
Email mergatroidfilms@gmail.com and splain yourselfs.
Seriously.
I have received almost 30 emails, some went over the 17 word limit, which was unfortunate. Then again, they won't have to worry about how to spend 35 bucks.
Love you.
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