Giving thanks

There are many holidays I do not like, among them Halloween, Valentines Day and generally Christmas. I do like Thanksgiving mostly because I often spend it with people I love.

This year is no different, except for the first time in 18 years my son had to travel to spend the holiday because he is now a college freshman. My fiance, my sons girlfriend, my daughters boyfriend, everyone is here and the house smells like a great meal is cooking.

I like to reflect on a day like this, not to give thanks, but to think about the past year, where things stand, where we are going. This has been a hectic year, but all in all, a great year. I am close to finishing the final edit on the long form documentary on the economy, we have moved into a house that is very much a home, we cut the connections to another in a series of people who use and abuse and everyone is healthy.

It is often amazing what people choose to focus on. Just today I heard from another one of those people who lie and cheat and expect complete forgetfulness or forgiveness, I am not sure which. It really makes my head spin when people come into your life, lie and cheat and expect that with a few months of quiet, all will be forgiven. First off, this seems like a very particular American trait and that may be in part the idea that we as Americans are often reinventing ourselves, so we expect others to somehow forget who we were a few months ago. The short version of the phone call is that this person wanted to make sure I felt responsible for his bad mistakes.

My personal philosophy is that people who take advantage and lie for a living should never expect much from the people who see them for who they really are. What is ironic is how many times in life we all run into the users and how often they follow the same pattern. One thing I have learned is that we all need dealbreakers, something that we will just not tolerate. I do understand that everyone gets to define what a deal breaker is, but in my world the ultimate deal breaker is a liar. I just won't tolerate it, so when one stumbles across my path, I pay attention. In this past year I had to cut off two such scumbags, the one who called today was the easiest because I kind of knew going in he and his business was sketchy. The other, a slovenly and untidy little human had wormed his way into our lives and was, all in all, just as sleazy and scummy as the other.

Again, once you know the character of the person, and that character is something intolerable, it is quite easy to just shut the door, as long as no one starts stalking, threatening or screaming on the phone.

A good reason to be thankful is that neither is in our lives. I like simplicity in most everything and certainly in business relationships. Honesty in life is something to cherish, strive for and love friends for having.