Only in memory

I have a thing for old Jewish women. There I was recently, in the strange courtyard of a Jewish rehab facility for elderly people and I was sitting with an older woman in a wheelchair and she was not so happy, but we found reason to laugh. At some point she asked me if I had ever had Chemo treatment and I said not in the last few weeks, which is true. She asked me if I thought it was a worthwhile adventure for an older woman in her 80's. I said no, I did not.

There are small bronze statues in the heavily shaded area where we were sitting, she sipping root beer, me sweating and a little exhausted. She asked me why I would suggest she forego Chemo and I said for most people the tradeoff is not worth it and that is especially true with people who are really old. I told her the breast cancer treatment my mother went through in her 80's was probably the last straw that killed her.

She sipped her root beer. I think we talked about my bike ride the day before, I was kind of glowing from the adventure of riding hills and mountains around Southern California. I wheeled her to the lunch area where there was a literal gaggle of gray haired old Jewish women, all of whom were beautiful and lively, even in their various states of recovery from their various illnesses. Beautiful women remain stunning even in a time of personal tragedy, this is something I have seen before.

Much like my own mother, my friend kept offering me cookies from her lunch plate, but I cannot eat cookies anymore, so I suffered, which seemed appropriate. Soon after she had to go to a specialist and I had to go buy baby clothes, because one of my best friends has recently become a proud father. As I was driving away from the Jewish rehab facility, all I could think of was how sublime older Jewish women are and how it is always such an inspiring honor just to sit with one in a moment of introspection.

Yesterday that amazing woman passed away. It pains me to know she is gone, but she was in pain and we all can only take so much before we say enough. Her courage, strength and humor will settle in over all who ever had the honor of knowing her.