Elevator exchange

Maybe I should just not go above a certain number of floors. It seems that the worst conversations happen when I am traveling above the 20th floor.

Today I was delivering a film to a client and I got on the elevator in a fairly new, pristine building. Before the doors could close, a tony little hand reached in and hit the sensor. The doors opened and in waddled a tiny man. He must have been south of 4 1/2 feet, but he looked like a professional, dressed in an expensive suit and wearing the look of someone on his way to an important meeting. In my eye, at that height, wearing a nice suit, he looked like a tiny little business man, or a kid pretending to be a tiny little business man.

We made eye contact, me looking down, him looking up. Hello there I said. He looked a little more at me, trying to discern if my tone was one of humor, friendship or just someone being kind. I would imagine, with his irregular size, he gets a lot of comments. He nodded and said hello. As the elevator doors closed I said Nice suit. Again, he looked me over and then said "what's your point?"

I knew then I might be digging a hole for myself, but I just replied that the suit looked nice. "Alright," he said, "here we go. You got a thing for shorter people?" "I do not" I said. "You look at me like I am abnormal." "Well, if the shoe fits." "What's that supposed to mean, because I am shorter than you, I am some sort of freak?" "Not exactly a freak, but a size of human one does not see all the time." "That's an interesting way you couch your bigotry." "Oh, that is not true, I am not a bigot, just a person who seems to point out the obvious." "You are saying it's obvious I am a shorter man?" "Duh." "Well, I don't like your tone." "Well, as I said, that is just an adorable suit you have on." "Adorable?" "Yes, adorable." "Oh, no fuck you too." "Seriously? I point out that your suit is adorable and you lose it?" "Your entire attitude is one of prejudice and hatred." "Yeah, but that's my attitude with almost everyone."

The door opened on my floor and I walked out.