In the tube

Last night I had my brain scanned by an MRI machine. This is not the first time I have subjected my brain to visual inspection. In 2005 I crashed a cycle after hitting a patch of black ice. One thing led to another and I was inside a tube in no time. Doctors then found a "black mass" inside my head, which, after months and months of various drug treatments, was found to be nothing more than a mystery black mass.

The damage done from that crash, or at least, the damage unleashed by the crash, has lasted. Migraine headaches and memory loss are the real problems and they continue and haunt me on a daily basis. People around me notice the memory loss, because quite honestly I just do not remember much.

The tube last night was ordered by a neurologist I saw this week. She wanted updated images of brain function. What was great about last nights tubing incident was the friendly woman who took the time to show me my brain. I know not what to look for, so this is not a note on a new black mass or any other structure inside my head. First, an ode to technology. Imagine just a few years ago when doctors did not have access to such machines. I asked the technologist last night how they could diagnose disease, damage and the like before MRI machines were developed. Surgery was the answer, which is always scary. Then imagine someone with a knife looking around your frontal lobes, not sure what they might be looking for.

The MRI is a monster of a machine, all gleaming and clean. I laid down on a thin board, covered by a blanket, and had a Hannibal Lector face mask placed over my head to keep me from moving. The machine fires up, you slide into a very tight space and the pounding of technology takes over. It really is not a big deal. The noise is an issue for some, the claustrophobia can be cumbersome, but in the end, you get to see the brain.

The images, for me at least, of my brain were refreshing. It's good to see the old thing still intact and functioning. It looks kind of happy there, inside my skull, happily doing all the things I require and forgetting the things I do not. It is heartening and awe inspiring to see inside our bodies, and even more so to see the control center. Brains are cool and mine remains inside my head. Nice.