I get the emails. Thank you

It's true, if I don't post shit on this blog, my email box fills up with people wondering why I am not blogging. Have you people ever heard of the concept of a life?

I was hoping to elope.

I have a young child that I leaving for college. I have another that is returning to the nest and another that is returning to rebuild the nest and another that I just found out about via the Maury show, which bothers me to no end.

I illegally taped a phone conversation with someone who was never supposed to call me again, I thought you people might find that interesting, but because I am almost constantly reading emails from people asking me why I am not constantly posting new blog posts, I have been unable to transcribe the phone call, or for that matter, post anything refreshing or sexy on this blog.

My dear friend Houdini stopped by, smoked pot in my bed, and had sex in my bedroom (certainly not with me), possibly not in that order, and then called to tell me all about that. I guess I could post something about that.

A close friend told me he was thinking of killing himself. We talked for an hour or so. Here is what I hate about people. Scummy people I have run across in my life, like this Sketchy the addict psychopath, they never call saying they feel the need to kill themselves, because if I got that call (please Sketchy make the call) I would suggest it would be the rightest of all the right things to do. No, instead, one of the sweetest and most giving and loving and honest people I know feels like life is too much, people are too mean and self centered and this pain of a life has got to come to an end. See how that works? People who use and abuse? They dance around life without a care. People who love and help others? They feel the burden of lifes injustice and can not take it.

My friend did not kill himself. Yet. He will, that much I am sure of. But not today.

Reminds me. This whole freedom of choice thing. Well, wait a second, I was not really looking for any sort of long winded post, because quite honestly, I am taking a well deserved break from using my tiny and inadequate brain, but here I am, in the midst of writing this, and thinking about a dear friend thinking seriously of killing himself, and it reminded me that we all make choices and sometimes no one cares and sometimes others care, and sometimes assholes outside abortion clinics pretend to care, but they are assholes and no one should care what assholes say or do.

Choice is a funny thing. We hear all the time about this concept of freedom of choice. Heck, I have a cellphone that was sold to me in part because I have the freedom of choosing the best service and the most competitive price. I had to make a choice. Not a profound choice, but one that best serves my needs. In the last 30 years or so, when people often speak of personal choice, it seems the subject is almost always abortion. Now, if you read this blog at all, you know I am anti-abortion, always have been, always will be. That is my choice, then again, I never have, nor will I ever have to, get one. Thus, my opinion is kind of self contained. It's kind of the way I feel about people who speak French. I don't do it, but if you do it, I could care less. Should speaking French be illegal? Maybe, but I am just one man, and not French, and I hardly ever go to France and when I do, I hardly speak French when there, and this could be going somewhere profound, then again, it's not.

My point being, choice is a wonderful thing, unless people are making a choice I profoundly disagree with. That said, while I am anti-abortion, I believe strongly in a woman's right to make any choice she sees fit for her own body. Why? Because I realize that the minute I am given the power to make choices over other peoples bodies, someone else will be making choices over mine and that does not sit well with me.

People make choices every day that I disagree with. I was accidentally in a WalMart store this past weekend and I found myself surrounded by these incredibly large, slow moving obese people. Talk about people making choices, these people, pushing baskets filled with the most unhealthy food possible, are continually making choices that will shorten their lives and make what life they do have uncomfortable for them and their children, but then again, freedom of choice gives them that right, more power to them and all that stuff. Do I agree with their choice? Hell no, then again, I am sure they look at me, see me in my dirty paint stained shorts and god knows what sort of stained t-shirt and think some of the same things. Choice is hardly pretty, but it's pretty powerful.

Which brings me back to my suicidal friend. We talked for a long time a couple of nights ago. We talked about people who take advantage of nice people, because they see nice people are easy targets. He is a nice man, who sets himself up for assholes and con artists to take advantage of. He has a nice house and plenty of extra rooms, so over the years, people who needed a place, could find one with him. I have known for years that at any point, I could make a call, he would pick me up and I would have a bed for as long as I needed, if I just asked. That is the kind of guy he is. Being that he is that kind of guy, the people who take advantage of that sort of kindness often have, and again, another person recently has and my friend is tired.

So, when my friend said he is done, the pain, the longing for someone to be better, the injustice of people who only use and abuse has finally beaten him down, he wants to leave and not come back, to end it all, to say good bye. We talked a long time, because for the most part he and I share this vision that the fight against cynicism is important and necessary, that cynics are the cancer on happiness and love. That said, I also understand the allure of choice. I support choice for him. I told him that. I said that if it really is time for him to end this life, I support him, that I love him, that I respect his choice.

He is still here today. He will be for a while. Not because of anything I said, but because he made another choice. He chose not to let bullies and idiots ruin his life. He chose not to become cynical like them, to become a user and a dick. Instead, he will remain a good man, a person willing to help others when they need it and ask for help when he needs it. He is a good man and this world needs good people.