Loud and large

Ahh, fireworks season officially came to my neighborhood tonight. I know this because my lesbian dog is freaked out and my incredibly angry and large neighbor is in an even stranger state of mind.

My lesbian dog is very laid back. She is loving and sweet and she laughs at my jokes, at least I think she does. Nothing really worries her, she has food, water, goes outside often, runs and barks at the mailman and has a long term relationship with Moma Kitty. Allis well, except for the whole fireworks thing.

Tonight some of those cheap fireworks were fired off close enough that we could hear them, no big deal. Then a large explosion was heard, the kind only an M-80 can make, which greatly upset my lesbian dog and even more so sent the large angry neighbor into a tizzy.

This is a woman who seems to enjoy the tizzy. She speaks loudly, seemed terminally pissed off and has a scowl on her face in a more or less permanent setting. I would say it was sad, but life is nothing if not a series of choices.

Anyway, the M-80 explosion set her off. She waddled to the back of her house and began a scream fest that lasted a good five minutes. Now think about that, screaming at the top of your lungs for more than 20-30 seconds takes a great deal of energy, and if there is one thing I have noted about my rotund neighbor it is that she lacks a lot of energy in almost every aspect of her life. So for her to trundle into the back yard and scream at some unknown and non-visible M-80 hoodlum, well, it was impressive.

So, for the fireworks people of the world, I salute you. Although to be honest, my lesbian dog would bite you if you got close enough.