A cold wind

I have a good friend who has the worst wife in the world. I know it would be wrong to believe him, so many years ago I took it upon myself to spend quality time with the woman he lovingly refers to as the "cold wind that doesn't blow".

He and I have been friends for years. They had married too quickly after dating, never bothering to really get to know one another. When friends ask me how long someone should date before marrying, I usually say 30-50 years, that should do it.

I was unable to attend their wedding, at that time in my life I was working as a mime in Paris, a short summer job that ended up lasting 2 years. When I returned, unable to speak french and with makeup ruining all my cool black t-shirts, I was almost shocked to see how happy my friend and the cold wind were. That was their key to showing the world something that did not exist. In public, and even at private dinner parties, they seemed to enjoy one anothers company, they seemed genuinely happy and respectful towards on another.

It was a month or two after I had returned and started talking again that I sat with my friends, smoking cigars and fishing for bass off a pier that had no planks. Almost immediately he told me of his suffering, how his lovely wife was actually a shrew, who did nothing but complain and deny any sort of sexual activity. I told him he was lucky, there was nothing worse than being sexual with someone who did not appreciate it. This was something I had learned during my first formal relationship, a relationship that died on the vine, so to speak.

All people need to be appreciated, but no one needs it more than a neurotic man. When such a man is in a relationship with someone who does not show their love, everything will fall apart quickly, like within minutes.

My friend told me how unhappy he was and I mentioned how completely in love they had appeared just a few nights earlier. "All lies" he bellowed, "I can't stand her and she is so shallow, she does not realize it." Shocked I was, but determined to understand how this could happen. Not how my friend could associate himself, indeed marry, a cold wind that does not blow, but how such a person could marry my friend, a sweet, passionate and loving man, without wanting to be more a part of his active life.

I decided to get to know this cold wind. I spent time hanging at their home, sharing meals, watching movies, playing with their paints and candles. In over a month of hard work on their relationship I came away in total agreement with my friend. This cold wind had no personality to speak of, instead she relied on a sweet smile and an inability to speak about anything by sales at furniture stores with any passion. She was a boob, and not a friendly one either. Sometimes she would say things that sounded sweet when she said them, but upon review, they were brutal in their lack of compassion.

A few weeks after I abruptly ended my attempts at getting close to the cold wind that does not blow I saw my friend at a kite flying competition. I approached him to see how he was doing and as I got closer to him I could see he was smiling, a big, loving, sweet smile, one that I had not seen in recent visits. He grabbed my arm and walked with me and said, "I took your advice, I met a wonderful woman, a sweet summer flower who seems to glow when I am around."

I had never given him any such advice, although I thought a lot about it. "I met this woman at a small fishing village, she was a net repairer, and I was looking for crabs. One thing led to another. I'm leaving the cold wind, I need to breath, I need to live, I need love. The cold wind has polluted my environment like a oil tanker driven by a mean drunk."

I learned something important that day. As I listened to my friend intimately describe his new relationship and the end of his old one, I noticed that the judges for the kite flying competition were smoking pot as people prepared their kites. I knew then that the people with kites would never really get the fair and appropriate attention needed by the stoner judges.

My friend married the new repairer. They are a shining example of a real couple, one that loves, stays closer, talks and shares a passion for life. The cold wind that does not blow also is married, although I only know of her exploits threw what I hear from the local public radio station. She seems to remain unhappy, uninspired and deplorable. A cold wind indeed.