Negotiation

Many years ago I lived in a quiet suburban hamlet. In fact, we did not even live in the hamlet part of the hamlet, we were outliers, a 5 mile distance from the hamlet itself. Suburban rural is a decent way to describe it, although we had neighbors around us, we also had trees and quiet, so it seemed a lot more rural than it was.

I did not have much interaction with our neighbors, one couple was elderly and friendly, but really, we were a lot younger and had nothing in common. When we did see one another, we waved and it was always a very nice interaction, but we never invited them to dinner. The other closet neighbor seemed nice enough, although very distant and reclusive.

One Sunday afternoon I was planting a couple of small trees in the front yard and since it was sunny and I was working outside, I was playing some music from the front porch to keep me entertained. I was digging a hole when the distant, reclusive neighbor showed up in my driveway. "Turn that fucking shit off" he said. I do not think we had ever spoken before. I remember, it was Willie Nelson singing love songs. While I did have a shovel in my hands, his words and distaste kind of scared me, so trying to be a good neighbor, I told him I would. He walked away in a huff. I went to the house and turned the music off.

I went back to digging and it dawned on me. He had no right to intimidate me and speak with such vulgarity, shit I thought, we don't even know one another.

So I walked down to his reclusive little shack, shovel in my hand. He was outside, tending to his organic garden and he did not hear me approach. I was standing over him as he was hunched down, looking at some sort of growth. I cleared my throat and in the kindest terms imaginable I told him, I did not appreciate the way he spoke to me. For gods sake I intoned, we are neighbors. If he does not like my music, approach me like an adult and speak to me as if I am a neighbor. I told him bullying will not work on me, and if he yells at me again, I would not take it well.

He apologized.

I remember this interaction because he actually said he was sorry. He knew he was out of line and that if you want to get things done, it is best to treat one another with some sort of respect.

There may have been times later in my history in that house where I played music while I worked outside, but I never heard from him again.