The wife asks

"Hi, I have been reading the last few weeks of posts and if you are going to answer peoples questions, then please think about mine. I have been married over 12 years, we have two kids - 7/10 and neither of us is cheating. I am just bored. Everything about my wife bores me, from the way she does or does not look to the way she cooks, chooses restaurants to the books she reads. She is boring to me. Looking back, she was always boring. Over the past couple of years she has started to ask me if what she is doing is bothering her. No, I want to scream, what you are doing is boring the shit out of me. I can't leave her, sadly not because we have kids, but because we could not afford to live apart on the money we make. You have a take on this?"

I am only posted your edited letter because the amazing juicy letters I have been receiving are too complex for me to answer is such a short amount of time, mine, not yours.

Oh, first, to answer another email, yes I do edit the letters. One, because a lot of them are wordy. Two because a lot of them go into so much detail that I feel like I want to protect the writer and finally, I edit because I can. So there.

To answer the question, well, leaving relationships for any reason is never easy, especially after many years. When I ended my longest relationship, after 11 years, I was at once heartbroken and relieved. In retrospect it was the smarted and healthiest thing I could do.

You on the other sound spoiled and pampered. You ever step back and say thank you for the meals you don't particularly like? Or cook one yourself? You don't like the way your wife looks or dresses? Have you mentioned this to her? Have you maybe purchased her something that you would find enticing?

See, when people talk about relationships being work, it is this part that you are "suffering" through that is the work. You sound lazy to me. Oh my, she does not look like she did 15 years ago. Let me guess, you weigh exactly the same as you did when you met your wife, right? Same amount of hair? Same amount of sexual attraction? Right.

I am a firm believer that getting married means something. It really does mean a life long commitment, a life spent together, sometimes with great passion and love, and sometimes screaming and hating the other person. That is what commitment means. Good and bad. Happy and sad. Healthy and fat. The bad times fade, as to the sad and if one or both of you is lazy and fat (and you sure sound lazy to me) that can be changed.

At some point we all look at our partner and think - I could do so much better. In some cases it is true, maybe in most cases, but guess what? Your partner is looking at you and thinking the exact same thing and as true as it is when you look at them, it is just as true when they look at you.

You have two kids. You have a wife who still is trying, making you meals and asking if she looks good is a passive aggressive way of communicating, but communicating all the same. I really believe from the tone of your letter you want change. How about changing your relationship. Talk to your wife, my lord you have spent over a decade together, sit her down and talk to her and tell her how you feel and see how she views things. Commit to making your lives together better. Commit to finding time for one another, to talk about what attracts you to one another, even talk about meals that might be changed to be more dynamic.

If you are thinking of divorcing her and damaging those kids because you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you are a fool. I have seen the other side of the fence, it is greener, because no one is walking on it, no dogs are pissing on it, no one is trampling all over it, but once you jump the fence, the grass is just not going to be pristine.

Oh, and go seek a professionals advice. I started this blog to write about the economy. I know next to nothing about relationships, pet care, clothing options, or pretty much anything else.