There is so much wrong with America right now, gays in the military, or not, and of course, snow penises.
In this "news" clip you will see so many things that show why our public education system has failed us. First, interviewing kids on snow sculptures is stupid. Second a stupid "mother" claims her 2 year old son does not know what a penis is. Right. And finally, the hippie/stoners who made the snow penis sculptures would not be interviewed. What sort of sissy reporter does not demand to know the thought process behind an artist's master work? Ever hear of knocking on a door with the camera running?
Anyway, with pollution, drunks, losers and boneheads ruining this country, it's always nice to be reminded that making a penis sculpture of snow can still piss off the morons among us. Personally, I can hardly wait for the next snow storm.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Stupid home repair jokes
So late last night I was in my neighborhood Lowes store to purchase some plumbing supplies. As part of my purchase I had three tubes of caulking to complete a tub enclosure job. When I walked up to the cashier, she looked at my tubes and I, stupidly, said, I like caulk.
She looked at me like I might be insane.
She looked at me like I might be insane.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Ending bigotry
I don't have a dog in this fight, but I do see "gay rights" as this generations civil rights battle. How could it not be? You take a class of people, whether it is based on race, sex or almost anything else, and treat them differently solely based on that distinction, and then try and argue that this is America.
It does not work. So let the gays serve with distinction in the military, but guess what? When those same soldiers return from battle and want to settle down with a home and a white picket fence and a marriage and children. Oh wait, those same soldiers who will not be discriminated in the Army will return to the same discrimination, this time it will do with marriage and all those perks and benefits we bestow on married people.
So, keep your hats on folks, because the battle continues for equality. What I do not understand about any of this is, why is a small group of small minded bigots allowed to control the debate? I don't know anyone who cares one way or another is someone is gay, straight or anything in between. Judge the person by their character, not their clothing.
Anyway, here is the president from this mornings historic signing.
It does not work. So let the gays serve with distinction in the military, but guess what? When those same soldiers return from battle and want to settle down with a home and a white picket fence and a marriage and children. Oh wait, those same soldiers who will not be discriminated in the Army will return to the same discrimination, this time it will do with marriage and all those perks and benefits we bestow on married people.
So, keep your hats on folks, because the battle continues for equality. What I do not understand about any of this is, why is a small group of small minded bigots allowed to control the debate? I don't know anyone who cares one way or another is someone is gay, straight or anything in between. Judge the person by their character, not their clothing.
Anyway, here is the president from this mornings historic signing.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Bigots on parade
There was a time when I was a working journalist and I can attest to the fact that stories are a whole lot more fun when you can find a wind bag who disagrees on the story you are working on.
An example. I was working in Southeast Alaska and in one of the small towns that I often found myself, the community seemed to be made up of two types of people, long time conservative older people who wanted to mine, cut timber and use the natural resources of the land to bring money into the region and the other wise was hippies, these neo-liberal folks who had moved from the lower 48 to build their utopia.
So, what was nice about this was that there was always at least two out spoken sides to every story, no matter how banal. I could attend a meeting for a large copper mine that would have polluted and damaged one of the most scenic rivers in the world, and there they would be, hippies on one side, demanding no mine because of the harm the developers promised to bring and the ultra right wing, who wanted copper because god wanted us to have copper. End of story, I swear they could write themselves.
The problem is with all this sort of story development, is that sometimes the opposing sides are not really informed, they are not really sharing any information, they are just spewing the same nonsense they would no matter what the story. Journalists get lazy thinking that every story needs one whacko, and another whacko from the other side. This happens all the time, and if you have an agenda, like Fox News, you always find the whackiest of whackos to debate the issue.
Not CNN though. They found a nice former gay soldier to debate a moron on the recent DADT vote. The problem with groups that are set up to basically spend every waking moment asking for donations to fight something scary is that they are not credible, they are often just nutty. Below you will see the soldier speaking the truth, that studies have been done, soldiers are ready and the military has done this before with integration. Then there is the white guy with the died hair, talking fear and nonsense, as if his opinion is equal to that of the former soldier.
Again, sometimes the other side does not need to be heard from because they are bringing nothing to the table. The debate for gays in the military, or for that matter, gay marriage, is about equal rights, nothing more, nothing less. Whenever I hear these types of debates I think about my time in Alaska and how easy and fun it was to do a story and pit hippy against conservative and just let them spew silliness. Obviously in this case, CNN has found a whacko to claim the whole gay agenda is out to ruin the country. Lazy lazy lazy.
An example. I was working in Southeast Alaska and in one of the small towns that I often found myself, the community seemed to be made up of two types of people, long time conservative older people who wanted to mine, cut timber and use the natural resources of the land to bring money into the region and the other wise was hippies, these neo-liberal folks who had moved from the lower 48 to build their utopia.
So, what was nice about this was that there was always at least two out spoken sides to every story, no matter how banal. I could attend a meeting for a large copper mine that would have polluted and damaged one of the most scenic rivers in the world, and there they would be, hippies on one side, demanding no mine because of the harm the developers promised to bring and the ultra right wing, who wanted copper because god wanted us to have copper. End of story, I swear they could write themselves.
The problem is with all this sort of story development, is that sometimes the opposing sides are not really informed, they are not really sharing any information, they are just spewing the same nonsense they would no matter what the story. Journalists get lazy thinking that every story needs one whacko, and another whacko from the other side. This happens all the time, and if you have an agenda, like Fox News, you always find the whackiest of whackos to debate the issue.
Not CNN though. They found a nice former gay soldier to debate a moron on the recent DADT vote. The problem with groups that are set up to basically spend every waking moment asking for donations to fight something scary is that they are not credible, they are often just nutty. Below you will see the soldier speaking the truth, that studies have been done, soldiers are ready and the military has done this before with integration. Then there is the white guy with the died hair, talking fear and nonsense, as if his opinion is equal to that of the former soldier.
Again, sometimes the other side does not need to be heard from because they are bringing nothing to the table. The debate for gays in the military, or for that matter, gay marriage, is about equal rights, nothing more, nothing less. Whenever I hear these types of debates I think about my time in Alaska and how easy and fun it was to do a story and pit hippy against conservative and just let them spew silliness. Obviously in this case, CNN has found a whacko to claim the whole gay agenda is out to ruin the country. Lazy lazy lazy.
Monday, December 20, 2010
One more thing
I was driving a long distance today and I ended up listening to a song on the radio. When I got to the hotel I had to have it, so I downloaded it. Thinking I was super cool and very smart, I checked You Tube to see if this obscure band had somehow, probably very low budget made a video.
Imagine then, my surprise.
Imagine then, my surprise.
Google laptop
I get all kinds of emails asking me to test products, talk about something and sleep with someone. I should get an email from the good folks at Google asking me to test one of their new laptops, the Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptop.
Why should I be testing one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops? Mostly because I am something of a computer wizard.
That may not be true.
I do know how to type, obviously, right? So, since the good folks at Google often look over these words, maybe they will see fit to have me test out one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops.
It's not as though I need one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops, but it would be swell. I could test the thing, type out one of those mojo rajem fragems and learn how to email people at night. All I need is one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops.
That should do it.
Don't you think? So begins the active blogging of the one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops. Once I get the Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptop, I will review every single aspect if right here. Using my arcane understanding of screens and keyboards, I will certainly test it.
Why should I be testing one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops? Mostly because I am something of a computer wizard.
That may not be true.
I do know how to type, obviously, right? So, since the good folks at Google often look over these words, maybe they will see fit to have me test out one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops.
It's not as though I need one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops, but it would be swell. I could test the thing, type out one of those mojo rajem fragems and learn how to email people at night. All I need is one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops.
That should do it.
Don't you think? So begins the active blogging of the one of those Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptops. Once I get the Cr-48 Chrome OS prototype laptop, I will review every single aspect if right here. Using my arcane understanding of screens and keyboards, I will certainly test it.
The baby girl
18 years is a long time, it is a very long time. I have never had a relationship that lasted that long.
My oldest daughter turns 18 today. I remember so much from the day she was born, it is almost like it was, I don't know, 15 years ago or something.
My oldest daughter turns 18 today. I remember so much from the day she was born, it is almost like it was, I don't know, 15 years ago or something.
Wise words
Why don’t I believe in God? No, no no, why do YOU believe in God? Surely the burden of proof is on the believer. You started all this. If I came up to you and said, “Why don’t you believe I can fly?” You’d say, “Why would I?” I’d reply, “Because it’s a matter of faith”. If I then said, “Prove I can’t fly. Prove I can’t fly see, see, you can’t prove it can you?” You’d probably either walk away, call security or throw me out of the window and shout, ‘’F—ing fly then you lunatic.”
-Ricky Gervais
-Ricky Gervais
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Food for you
If you are like me, and by that I mean in Pittsburgh, then I would say, go to Salt of the Earth. I lived a long time in Seattle, where trendy cool little restaurants are the norm, heck I actually owned one for a minute.
If you get a chance, check it out. http://www.saltpgh.com
If you get a chance, check it out. http://www.saltpgh.com
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
More from the email bad
First, quit complaining about the briefcase post, I did that for money. You have a problem with that? Jesus, someone finally offers me cold hard cash to sell out and I am supposed to be the lone American with some sort of moral compass? You were in a coma for the Bush administration?
So I got a couple of emails about that and I did not respond, because I do not have to justify my greed, or something like that.
Then I got an email that said something to the effect that I was a bitter old turd. So, for the record, I am not sure what turd means in that sort of insult, but I do know the meaning of bitter and old. I am, of course, neither. I spend all my therapy time figuring out ways to avoid being cynical, so I am far from bitter. That said, as a 28 year old, i do feel a bit old, but I cycle, I have a dog that forgives me and a daughter who refers to me as a bitter old turd.
Wait a minute.
Finally, I am coming up on a life changing anniversary and I am re-posting a short film in January about a woman I loved. I never celebrate anniversaries, I did not when I had a marriage anniversary thing, I forget what they are called, but I do not think I ever celebrated. I forgot when my birthday is, so I do no celebrate that, although I am fairly sure I am 28, or so. No, calendars mean very little to me, as to some sort of "special" day.
But in January, a few things happened a while ago, and this year is one of those years I think it is time to reflect. And reflect I shall accomplish.
All that said, I like getting email. I do. I am not big on critical email. but if you want to email me and say something critical, I can take it. I have a shield of armor and a maxium condom I wear when I read emails. Bring it on.
So I got a couple of emails about that and I did not respond, because I do not have to justify my greed, or something like that.
Then I got an email that said something to the effect that I was a bitter old turd. So, for the record, I am not sure what turd means in that sort of insult, but I do know the meaning of bitter and old. I am, of course, neither. I spend all my therapy time figuring out ways to avoid being cynical, so I am far from bitter. That said, as a 28 year old, i do feel a bit old, but I cycle, I have a dog that forgives me and a daughter who refers to me as a bitter old turd.
Wait a minute.
Finally, I am coming up on a life changing anniversary and I am re-posting a short film in January about a woman I loved. I never celebrate anniversaries, I did not when I had a marriage anniversary thing, I forget what they are called, but I do not think I ever celebrated. I forgot when my birthday is, so I do no celebrate that, although I am fairly sure I am 28, or so. No, calendars mean very little to me, as to some sort of "special" day.
But in January, a few things happened a while ago, and this year is one of those years I think it is time to reflect. And reflect I shall accomplish.
All that said, I like getting email. I do. I am not big on critical email. but if you want to email me and say something critical, I can take it. I have a shield of armor and a maxium condom I wear when I read emails. Bring it on.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
The leather suitcase
Surprisingly, a lot of people as me how they can attain a leather briefcase. I know, it's an odd request, but one I get on an almost daily basis. If you are searching online for one, you might want to follow this LEATHER BRIEFCASE link, for a variety of reasons, not the least of which I am getting paid to send you there.
In past generations news anchors on TV smoked and did commercials for cigarettes. I am a big fan of smoking, as many of you know, but I am a bigger fan of Leather Briefcases. For me and my family, we could not exist without a decent quality leather briefcase and if you and your loved ones are in the market for the absolute perfect Leather Briefcase, please click the link above and enjoy.
Thank you and god bless.
In past generations news anchors on TV smoked and did commercials for cigarettes. I am a big fan of smoking, as many of you know, but I am a bigger fan of Leather Briefcases. For me and my family, we could not exist without a decent quality leather briefcase and if you and your loved ones are in the market for the absolute perfect Leather Briefcase, please click the link above and enjoy.
Thank you and god bless.
Let the protests begin
I am stealing Billy Braggs photo of recent protests in London.
What will it take to get complacent Americans off there sofas and into the streets like this? Our government has been at a standstill for at least 2 years, the republicans in the senate can stop any legislation with just the threat of a filibuster, while vast amounts of our country suffers from the worst recession in memory. How can that be? Why no people taking to the streets?
I blame many things. First we are slow and fat and lazy. That's right, the most obese nation in history can not muster the energy to take to the streets. Let's not use excuses, TV does its part to keep people both uninformed and lazy. I mean, how can I protest tax cuts to the very wealthy if Dexter is on? Seriously, American Idol starts in a few weeks, it's snowing outside and there is a sale at Chilis.
In the meantime, we remain at two wars that we will never win. In our collective anger, we threw out the bums who could not get anything accomplished, only to be replaced by the bums who accomplished getting us into this recession in the first place. Not to mention the same bums who wildly supported going to war with a nation that did not attack us on 9-11 and had nothing to do with the 9-11 attacks. Weird. Good to have them back in power though, yes?
Still no protests. No anger, heck, my friends do not even mention the uneasiness surrounding us.
My sense is that many people are just hoping to hang on. Sure, house values have dropped almost 50 percent in many areas. People who bought in when prices were their highest now hold mortgages for homes that have lost an incredible amount of their value. Imagine buying a 500 thousand dollar house, taking out a mortgage for 420 thousand and spending your savings to purchase the home of your dreams, only to find out a few months later that the home is now worth half of what you paid for it. Imagine.
Still, why blame the government, or anyone else? You bought the house, you took the risk, you will pay off a mortgage for 30 years and probably never be able to sell without taking a loss, but that is all your fault. You should have predicted the future, dammit.
Yet, no one is marching, screaming or protesting. Except in England, where tuition has been raised enough to get the students pissed off.
Many years ago my feisty oldest daughter and I marched with thousands of other stoned hippies in the streets of Seattle to protest the impending war in Iraq. Millions marched around the world, and when the United States started the bombing, our marches were portrayed as a bunch of stoned hippies being silly. Of course, years after the marches the truth came out, we, the stoned hippies, were right as right can be, and the vast majority of stupid lazy idiots who sat by and watched the bombing on late night TV, could only sit in their comfortable chair and praise the lending rules that allowed them to use home equity to buy big screen TV sets. Fuck the war is what I am sure they mumbled as they crank decent wine and watched the Bombing of innocent Iraqis.
I have told this story a few times in my life and it is time to tell it again. I was looking for a cheap place to live when I first moved to New York City and in heroin land on the Lower East Side I found an apartment for a few hundred a month. It was a mess and there was a Polish immigrant who helped me remove plaster from the brick walls. We were talking one day, he had taken part in the Solidarity protests in Poland and had fought for pay and better working conditions. I mentioned the power of protest and he cynically asked me what protests had ever won me in America. I could not think of a single "win" that we protesting types had actually accomplished. He said the governments allow protests because they get people to burn off the energy and anger, and in the end, the governments do what is best for themselves and the wealthy who support them. He was right then, and he is right now. Even though lower income and middle class people in America are taking a beating, even as we fight wars with no end and budgets that are busted, even as republicans stall any meaningful legislation from becoming necessary laws, we sit on our asses and pretend things will get better.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Dumb friends
I got a call from my dumb friend this weekend. He is as he should be, complacent and middling. No, but seriously, he seemed fine, which is always kind of dangerous. One of my greatest fears is that he might just show up one day for a visit.
Because the conversation was so boring, I can not remember much of it, but he did take a shot at his ex-wife, which I kind of find amazing, because he has been divorced longer than I have and yet, his anger towards her remains strong. I do not buy into staying angry with anyone, much less someone you once loved enough to marry.
Here is my take on these things. For the most part, marriage is a convention that no longer works in our society. I am not sure it ever really did, but for modern Americans, it is passe, at best. First, the old reason for getting married was to have children and lord knows most people have children basically whenever they want, so marriage is not their issue. For some people it is a commitment to remain loyal to one another, but then again I can count on two fingers the couples I know who have been solidly committed.
What I do know, after years of extensive research, is that most marriages are as flawed at the people who engage in them. At some point a close friend of mine, acknowledging my divorce, said to me, well, your marriage was built on a bed of lies. To which I replied, and yours is not?
See, we all fall into this trap that marriage is the end all of relationships, that the marriage will bring some stability and peace to our lives, only to awaken one day and realize that not only is Santa not real, neither is the romantic concept of marriage. For the life of me, I can not think of one couple I know who are completely happy with one another. Certainly I know one or two couples that seem happy, but when alone and out of the awareness of a spouse, all sorts of sordid secrets get told.
So when my dumb friend once again made his joke, in reference to both the cold weather and his former wife, he said, "damn, today is like my ex, cold and frigid." I laughed the knowing laugh that all men share, that in so many ways, once married, the joy we once had disappears and we awake to the drudgery of a person we did not bother to get know and now that we do know them, we don't particularly like them. My dumb friend is unique in his inability to move beyond the pain of divorce.
Which is another interesting aspect to divorce. It seems to me that divorce is often a good thing for everyone. By the time most people divorce, there have already been affairs of some sort, there have already been long stretches of time where one or both realized the person they are married to is not the person they want to be married to, and there have been fights of one sort or another that ruined the sketchy fabric that kept them together.
So when divorce actually rears is welcome head, why do people end up hating one another? My dumb friend has such a fierce and angry bitterness towards a woman he has not been cordial with for over a decade, it makes me wonder why. Why carry that with you? Why bother allowing her to still have a way of making you feel anything? Why not just close the door. Mistakes get made, we all get knocked down, and the happiest of us, get up to fight again.
I did not ask my dumb friend any of these questions because, well, he is dumb, so he is not into self reflection or seeking a deeper understanding. What he seems to enjoy his hating the woman who was once his partner. I find it all so unhealthy that even my shallow conversations with him become cumbersome. My advice to him was, move the fuck on.
Which was the great advice I got when I was going through a fun divorce. I say fun because it was not a shock or surprise to me. It was a welcome relief. It was shocking at first, because I felt like a commitment is a commitment and even though I was unhappy for many years in my marriage, I was prepared to endure. Once the light of divorce shown on my face, I was engulfed with not only the freedom and happiness, but also with the insight that we get very few reprieves from mistakes in our life, and I was going to take full advantage of the freedom.
So, in talking to my dumb friend, I recommended to him that he seek therapy. I know, in America, every seeks therapy for everything, from a lost soccer game to the death of a fish. When people really need to get to the root of what makes them happy, sad, infuriated or regretful, they hardly ever seek therapy at that time. I told my dumb friend that after so many years of divorce, he should not be so angry, no matter how clear he was that his ex-wife deserved his scorn. Heck, if our respective ex's did not deserve scorn, they would probably never have become ex's in the first place.
I think every couple, prior to marriage should be required to seek out a qualified therapist who would delve into the reasons two people would marry. Get down to the the real reasons, so people would honestly be looking at one another and the implications that a marriage would bring to their relationships. I know I would not have ever gotten married had such a moment of truth been a requirement. On the other hand, I also believe that therapy should be required for people getting divorced. First, to remove some of the anger (see above) and second, to make sure that anyone entering into a new relationship does so with a little bit of knowledge so they do not repeat the mistakes that led to marriage/divorce.
Now, I know many people who have been both married and divorced. I know many who have moved on, found a new partner, and have lived happily, for a time, or for ever. I also know a few who did not seek inner peace, or self awareness and have moved in with or even married another partner who is wrong for them. I look at that and think, you know, seriously?
My dear dumb friend was almost married again, he had found a new woman, who was a spark plug, wild, fun and possibly insane, in other words, a perfect match for my dumb friend. He was madly in love, much more so that with wife number one. I actually went to the marriage of dumb friend and wife number one and on my way home from the reception, driving a little bit drunk with another long time friend, we were bot aghast and kept saying, what the hell is he doing.
With crazy replacement woman, all of us friends were in agreement, she may not be the one for our dumb friend, but she was fun.
That relationship ended when he came home to find her with a pool cleaner, and my friend did not have a pool. That must have been awkward. I have always preached against monogamy after a certain age. It just becomes less important in older, more mature relationships. If my dumb friend had bothered to ask me, I would have said something pithy like, ask the pool boy to stick around and get freaky. Instead, I got a call, and his venom was almost to the level of his hatred of his first wife. Crazy woman moved out and my friend has meandered from one failed attempt at relationships to the next.
I know many divorced people who never remarry, almost all by choice. The people who were burned by the marriage that ended in divorce seem the most reluctant to commit to another ceremonial hoo haaa again. As we age, like monogamy, the marriage compact seems less important. Maybe we do get married to make babies, and when the allure of children is gone, so is the need for marriage. Or maybe it comes down to once burned, etc. I am not an expert on anything at this point, but I do pay attention.
In the end, my dumb friend did complain about his ex-wife, which is always part of any conversation we share. I asked if he is seeing someone and his answer was surprising. He said he is taking a break from dating, from searching for a partner, and he is focusing on doing things he enjoys.
When I hung up, I felt for the first time in many years, that my dumb friend may redeem himself after all. Life is very short and this constant search for something that he may be too dumb to comprehend could be dangerous, to say the least. To have the ability to slow down, step off the dating/relationship treadmill and do other things that are important, could be a life changing moment.
Because the conversation was so boring, I can not remember much of it, but he did take a shot at his ex-wife, which I kind of find amazing, because he has been divorced longer than I have and yet, his anger towards her remains strong. I do not buy into staying angry with anyone, much less someone you once loved enough to marry.
Here is my take on these things. For the most part, marriage is a convention that no longer works in our society. I am not sure it ever really did, but for modern Americans, it is passe, at best. First, the old reason for getting married was to have children and lord knows most people have children basically whenever they want, so marriage is not their issue. For some people it is a commitment to remain loyal to one another, but then again I can count on two fingers the couples I know who have been solidly committed.
What I do know, after years of extensive research, is that most marriages are as flawed at the people who engage in them. At some point a close friend of mine, acknowledging my divorce, said to me, well, your marriage was built on a bed of lies. To which I replied, and yours is not?
See, we all fall into this trap that marriage is the end all of relationships, that the marriage will bring some stability and peace to our lives, only to awaken one day and realize that not only is Santa not real, neither is the romantic concept of marriage. For the life of me, I can not think of one couple I know who are completely happy with one another. Certainly I know one or two couples that seem happy, but when alone and out of the awareness of a spouse, all sorts of sordid secrets get told.
So when my dumb friend once again made his joke, in reference to both the cold weather and his former wife, he said, "damn, today is like my ex, cold and frigid." I laughed the knowing laugh that all men share, that in so many ways, once married, the joy we once had disappears and we awake to the drudgery of a person we did not bother to get know and now that we do know them, we don't particularly like them. My dumb friend is unique in his inability to move beyond the pain of divorce.
Which is another interesting aspect to divorce. It seems to me that divorce is often a good thing for everyone. By the time most people divorce, there have already been affairs of some sort, there have already been long stretches of time where one or both realized the person they are married to is not the person they want to be married to, and there have been fights of one sort or another that ruined the sketchy fabric that kept them together.
So when divorce actually rears is welcome head, why do people end up hating one another? My dumb friend has such a fierce and angry bitterness towards a woman he has not been cordial with for over a decade, it makes me wonder why. Why carry that with you? Why bother allowing her to still have a way of making you feel anything? Why not just close the door. Mistakes get made, we all get knocked down, and the happiest of us, get up to fight again.
I did not ask my dumb friend any of these questions because, well, he is dumb, so he is not into self reflection or seeking a deeper understanding. What he seems to enjoy his hating the woman who was once his partner. I find it all so unhealthy that even my shallow conversations with him become cumbersome. My advice to him was, move the fuck on.
Which was the great advice I got when I was going through a fun divorce. I say fun because it was not a shock or surprise to me. It was a welcome relief. It was shocking at first, because I felt like a commitment is a commitment and even though I was unhappy for many years in my marriage, I was prepared to endure. Once the light of divorce shown on my face, I was engulfed with not only the freedom and happiness, but also with the insight that we get very few reprieves from mistakes in our life, and I was going to take full advantage of the freedom.
So, in talking to my dumb friend, I recommended to him that he seek therapy. I know, in America, every seeks therapy for everything, from a lost soccer game to the death of a fish. When people really need to get to the root of what makes them happy, sad, infuriated or regretful, they hardly ever seek therapy at that time. I told my dumb friend that after so many years of divorce, he should not be so angry, no matter how clear he was that his ex-wife deserved his scorn. Heck, if our respective ex's did not deserve scorn, they would probably never have become ex's in the first place.
I think every couple, prior to marriage should be required to seek out a qualified therapist who would delve into the reasons two people would marry. Get down to the the real reasons, so people would honestly be looking at one another and the implications that a marriage would bring to their relationships. I know I would not have ever gotten married had such a moment of truth been a requirement. On the other hand, I also believe that therapy should be required for people getting divorced. First, to remove some of the anger (see above) and second, to make sure that anyone entering into a new relationship does so with a little bit of knowledge so they do not repeat the mistakes that led to marriage/divorce.
Now, I know many people who have been both married and divorced. I know many who have moved on, found a new partner, and have lived happily, for a time, or for ever. I also know a few who did not seek inner peace, or self awareness and have moved in with or even married another partner who is wrong for them. I look at that and think, you know, seriously?
My dear dumb friend was almost married again, he had found a new woman, who was a spark plug, wild, fun and possibly insane, in other words, a perfect match for my dumb friend. He was madly in love, much more so that with wife number one. I actually went to the marriage of dumb friend and wife number one and on my way home from the reception, driving a little bit drunk with another long time friend, we were bot aghast and kept saying, what the hell is he doing.
With crazy replacement woman, all of us friends were in agreement, she may not be the one for our dumb friend, but she was fun.
That relationship ended when he came home to find her with a pool cleaner, and my friend did not have a pool. That must have been awkward. I have always preached against monogamy after a certain age. It just becomes less important in older, more mature relationships. If my dumb friend had bothered to ask me, I would have said something pithy like, ask the pool boy to stick around and get freaky. Instead, I got a call, and his venom was almost to the level of his hatred of his first wife. Crazy woman moved out and my friend has meandered from one failed attempt at relationships to the next.
I know many divorced people who never remarry, almost all by choice. The people who were burned by the marriage that ended in divorce seem the most reluctant to commit to another ceremonial hoo haaa again. As we age, like monogamy, the marriage compact seems less important. Maybe we do get married to make babies, and when the allure of children is gone, so is the need for marriage. Or maybe it comes down to once burned, etc. I am not an expert on anything at this point, but I do pay attention.
In the end, my dumb friend did complain about his ex-wife, which is always part of any conversation we share. I asked if he is seeing someone and his answer was surprising. He said he is taking a break from dating, from searching for a partner, and he is focusing on doing things he enjoys.
When I hung up, I felt for the first time in many years, that my dumb friend may redeem himself after all. Life is very short and this constant search for something that he may be too dumb to comprehend could be dangerous, to say the least. To have the ability to slow down, step off the dating/relationship treadmill and do other things that are important, could be a life changing moment.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
On riding to work
I just finished an indoor training ride and I found this article on the New York Times website.
I was rolling up the bike lane on Eighth Avenue on my way to work recently when a man on a Trek roared past with legs pumping like Greg LeMond.
I didn’t think much of it as I immediately caught up to him — with his casual office clothes and drop handlebars — at a red light on 23rd Street. I cruised past as the light changed, but by the next block he had come charging back, outside the lane and in traffic this time, and zipped ahead of me for good.
Had I been defeated? Were we even in a race?
It is a question that often comes to mind in a highly competitive city increasingly filled with cyclists. Many commuters and casual riders admit to engaging in such unspoken competitions, though it’s usually only in their own heads.
Some have even coined a term — “Cat 6” — for these street level, just-for-fun contests. It jokingly refers to a made-up sixth category of amateur bicycle racers, one below the five official levels.
For my part, I was not racing. Not at first. But when I failed to catch my ersatz competitor before reaching the office in Midtown, I was a little disappointed.
For Bryce Engen, 26, an Amtrak engineer, the occasional spontaneous race with other bike commuters is just part of his ride to work.
“I can’t help it; they can’t help it,” he said. “It just happens.”
Since June, Mr. Engen has encountered the same group of Spanish-language cyclists about a dozen times on his nighttime commute between his home in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and Sunnyside, Queens, where he works the graveyard shift repairing Acela trains.
Though Mr. Engen says his Spanish is “poor,” he communicates in other friendly ways with the three or four men, who ride beat-up mountain bikes and share a portion of his route along Greenpoint Avenue. “It’s an unspoken thing,” he said. “Everybody just seems to race each other. Even if they’re not hustling to pass me, if I look back and I see them coming, I hustle.”
A recent article in Good magazine about competitive commuting has sparked lively conversation on cycling blogs and across the Web. Some cyclists cheered the notion, admitting to frequently speeding up to challenge others, while many, including racers and the die-hard all-weather commuters, thought the whole notion was laughable.
But these sorts of impromptu competitions are as old as the bicycle and just as universal. For years, cyclists in London have been sharing anecdotes about such races on cycling forums and through an active Twitter stream under the tag #itsnotarace.
In this way, Cat 6 is something like the “man date” of the cycling world: a common experience that few ever thought to give a name.
Commuter racing illustrates the essential and unique aspects of riding to work: unlike other modes, bicycling is perched between transportation and exercise. After all, who worries about being passed by a hurried walker along Broadway or getting beat through the subway door by a motivated straphanger? There is competition here, perhaps, but it is rarely athletic and never fun.
By contrast, bicycling in an urban environment, with all its hazards and potential shortcuts, can be a kind of game that brings out a cyclist’s essential competitiveness, said Robert J. Bell, professor of sports psychology at Ball State University in Indiana. For better or worse, commuting by bike still feels more like play or exercise than a tedious slice of the daily routine.
“I think the majority of cyclists who bike to work are just more competitive by nature,” Dr. Bell said.
The common response from actual bike racers to stories of ad hoc commuter contests: Join a team and race for real.
“Riders who don’t race lack an outlet for their competitive drive on the bike, so a pass can be taken as a challenge,” said Andy Shen, who covers professional and local amateur racing on NYVelocity.com.
“The odd thing about these ‘races’ is that the rider never makes eye contact,” he added. “The way to confirm that they’ve engaged you in a battle of wills is to gently ease up behind them and see if they speed up to stay ahead.”
If they do, it’s on.
But in these unofficial races there are no rules and there is no finish line. The best way to win, then, is to pull off the road the minute you take the lead.
So with that in mind, my brave Trek-riding competitor, if we meet again on the commuter race course to Midtown, I’ll know my finish is at 40th Street, and, in my head, I’ll race you there.
Only this time, I’ll win.
I was rolling up the bike lane on Eighth Avenue on my way to work recently when a man on a Trek roared past with legs pumping like Greg LeMond.
I didn’t think much of it as I immediately caught up to him — with his casual office clothes and drop handlebars — at a red light on 23rd Street. I cruised past as the light changed, but by the next block he had come charging back, outside the lane and in traffic this time, and zipped ahead of me for good.
Had I been defeated? Were we even in a race?
It is a question that often comes to mind in a highly competitive city increasingly filled with cyclists. Many commuters and casual riders admit to engaging in such unspoken competitions, though it’s usually only in their own heads.
Some have even coined a term — “Cat 6” — for these street level, just-for-fun contests. It jokingly refers to a made-up sixth category of amateur bicycle racers, one below the five official levels.
For my part, I was not racing. Not at first. But when I failed to catch my ersatz competitor before reaching the office in Midtown, I was a little disappointed.
For Bryce Engen, 26, an Amtrak engineer, the occasional spontaneous race with other bike commuters is just part of his ride to work.
“I can’t help it; they can’t help it,” he said. “It just happens.”
Since June, Mr. Engen has encountered the same group of Spanish-language cyclists about a dozen times on his nighttime commute between his home in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, and Sunnyside, Queens, where he works the graveyard shift repairing Acela trains.
Though Mr. Engen says his Spanish is “poor,” he communicates in other friendly ways with the three or four men, who ride beat-up mountain bikes and share a portion of his route along Greenpoint Avenue. “It’s an unspoken thing,” he said. “Everybody just seems to race each other. Even if they’re not hustling to pass me, if I look back and I see them coming, I hustle.”
A recent article in Good magazine about competitive commuting has sparked lively conversation on cycling blogs and across the Web. Some cyclists cheered the notion, admitting to frequently speeding up to challenge others, while many, including racers and the die-hard all-weather commuters, thought the whole notion was laughable.
But these sorts of impromptu competitions are as old as the bicycle and just as universal. For years, cyclists in London have been sharing anecdotes about such races on cycling forums and through an active Twitter stream under the tag #itsnotarace.
In this way, Cat 6 is something like the “man date” of the cycling world: a common experience that few ever thought to give a name.
Commuter racing illustrates the essential and unique aspects of riding to work: unlike other modes, bicycling is perched between transportation and exercise. After all, who worries about being passed by a hurried walker along Broadway or getting beat through the subway door by a motivated straphanger? There is competition here, perhaps, but it is rarely athletic and never fun.
By contrast, bicycling in an urban environment, with all its hazards and potential shortcuts, can be a kind of game that brings out a cyclist’s essential competitiveness, said Robert J. Bell, professor of sports psychology at Ball State University in Indiana. For better or worse, commuting by bike still feels more like play or exercise than a tedious slice of the daily routine.
“I think the majority of cyclists who bike to work are just more competitive by nature,” Dr. Bell said.
The common response from actual bike racers to stories of ad hoc commuter contests: Join a team and race for real.
“Riders who don’t race lack an outlet for their competitive drive on the bike, so a pass can be taken as a challenge,” said Andy Shen, who covers professional and local amateur racing on NYVelocity.com.
“The odd thing about these ‘races’ is that the rider never makes eye contact,” he added. “The way to confirm that they’ve engaged you in a battle of wills is to gently ease up behind them and see if they speed up to stay ahead.”
If they do, it’s on.
But in these unofficial races there are no rules and there is no finish line. The best way to win, then, is to pull off the road the minute you take the lead.
So with that in mind, my brave Trek-riding competitor, if we meet again on the commuter race course to Midtown, I’ll know my finish is at 40th Street, and, in my head, I’ll race you there.
Only this time, I’ll win.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Econimic shambles
Here is an article about how home prices continue to decline, all the while, the elected boneheads of both parties can not find a way to print money fast enough to give tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans.
Plunging home prices hammered household finances in the third quarter, eroding homeowners' wealth and making them more vulnerable to foreclosure. As prices are expected to continue falling, the economic recovery could face a major stall.
Millions of homeowners saw their most valuable asset decay between July and September, according to recently released data from the Federal Reserve, as they lost a portion of the stake they can claim in their homes. A series of new reports reflects home prices are continuing to decline, increasing the pressure on America's tepid housing market. Until the market finds a bottom, the foreclosure epidemic will feed upon itself, analysts say, as foreclosed properties drive home values down. With the unemployment rate hovering near 10 percent, and with companies showing historic reluctance to hire, the housing drag poses a significant impediment to an economic recovery.
By the end of this year home prices will have dropped $1.7 trillion, or about 7 percent, according to Zillow.com, a real estate data provider. This decline has accelerated: Since August, home prices have fallen 7.9 percent, data from Clear Capital, a Truckee, Calif.-based real estate research firm, show. It is the steepest decline in home values since the height of the financial crisis in 2008, said Clear Capital senior statistician Alex Villacorta.
Worse, home prices are forecast to drop an additional 10 percent next year, according to a recent report from Fitch Ratings, a major credit ratings agency.
Americans' grasp on their homes is weakening.
Homeowners' equity, or the stake they can claim in their homes, dropped two percentage points to 38.8 percent in the third quarter, according to the new Fed data. The drop ended five quarters of steady growth since the figure hit its all-time low of 36.3 percent in the first quarter of 2009.
"There continues, of course, to be a backlog of foreclosed properties, or properties on their way to foreclosure," said Dean Baker, co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research, a Washington research group. "We're not about to see the end of foreclosures anytime soon."
Plunging home prices hammered household finances in the third quarter, eroding homeowners' wealth and making them more vulnerable to foreclosure. As prices are expected to continue falling, the economic recovery could face a major stall.
Millions of homeowners saw their most valuable asset decay between July and September, according to recently released data from the Federal Reserve, as they lost a portion of the stake they can claim in their homes. A series of new reports reflects home prices are continuing to decline, increasing the pressure on America's tepid housing market. Until the market finds a bottom, the foreclosure epidemic will feed upon itself, analysts say, as foreclosed properties drive home values down. With the unemployment rate hovering near 10 percent, and with companies showing historic reluctance to hire, the housing drag poses a significant impediment to an economic recovery.
By the end of this year home prices will have dropped $1.7 trillion, or about 7 percent, according to Zillow.com, a real estate data provider. This decline has accelerated: Since August, home prices have fallen 7.9 percent, data from Clear Capital, a Truckee, Calif.-based real estate research firm, show. It is the steepest decline in home values since the height of the financial crisis in 2008, said Clear Capital senior statistician Alex Villacorta.
Worse, home prices are forecast to drop an additional 10 percent next year, according to a recent report from Fitch Ratings, a major credit ratings agency.
Americans' grasp on their homes is weakening.
Homeowners' equity, or the stake they can claim in their homes, dropped two percentage points to 38.8 percent in the third quarter, according to the new Fed data. The drop ended five quarters of steady growth since the figure hit its all-time low of 36.3 percent in the first quarter of 2009.
"There continues, of course, to be a backlog of foreclosed properties, or properties on their way to foreclosure," said Dean Baker, co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research, a Washington research group. "We're not about to see the end of foreclosures anytime soon."
Thursday, December 9, 2010
The right decision
I was walking through a forest recently, before the snow, but after the leaves had gone south for the winter. As I was making my way up a slight incline, I could look out over rolling hills of brush and marsh land and it made me think of how wonderful this area is.
There have been many moments like this, where all of a sudden, I am overwhelmed by the beauty that is right outside my door. When I lived in Alaska, sometimes I would pull my car over and just look at the fjords and the animals, the natural beauty was often overwhelming.
Seattle had its moments as well. For a while the kids and I lived on an island, and while too much of the island has been built up with mcmansions and fake rustic landscaping, for the most part, it could not help itself by being beautiful and tranquil.
Looking out at a near naked forest and seeing the way everything seemed to be prepping for winter certainly made me think about these moments in life when things are changing, but in slow motion. It's not as if trees lose their leaves in a day, but it is a process, like aging. I wonder what birds think when their little bird babies begin to fly. Do birds even bother with saying goodbye?
There have been many moments like this, where all of a sudden, I am overwhelmed by the beauty that is right outside my door. When I lived in Alaska, sometimes I would pull my car over and just look at the fjords and the animals, the natural beauty was often overwhelming.
Seattle had its moments as well. For a while the kids and I lived on an island, and while too much of the island has been built up with mcmansions and fake rustic landscaping, for the most part, it could not help itself by being beautiful and tranquil.
Looking out at a near naked forest and seeing the way everything seemed to be prepping for winter certainly made me think about these moments in life when things are changing, but in slow motion. It's not as if trees lose their leaves in a day, but it is a process, like aging. I wonder what birds think when their little bird babies begin to fly. Do birds even bother with saying goodbye?
Monday, December 6, 2010
I can't even spell capitulate
Washington (CNN) — President Barack Obama on Monday announced a deal with Republican leaders that would extend Bush-era tax cuts for two years and unemployment benefits for 13 months while also lowering the payroll tax by two percentage points for a year.
The compromise, worked out in negotiations involving the White House, the Treasury and congressional leaders from both parties, includes provisions that each side doesn't like, Obama said in a hastily arranged statement to reporters after discussing the proposed deal with Democratic leaders.
Dear Mr. President,
I am done. You really seem like a nice enough guy, plenty to like about you, but you have let me down consistently and I am done. You were elected to do many things and even the ones you have tried to do, keep patting yourself on the back for that silly healthcare initiative you cobbled together, mostly you have bent over backwards to kiss the asses of your political enemies.
Seriously, for 8 years a complete moron occupied your office and he was able to do many terrible things just because he dared the wimpy democrats to come after him at a time of terror and war. It worked, he skipped out of office a disgrace, but not charged as a war criminal. Of course, you could have called for investigations, but you said it was best to leave that era behind. Of course you said that as your administration continued many of the dastardly ways of the Bush group. I will never understand why democrats allow impeachment when a man lies about a blow job and refuse to even investigate a president who happily admits to torture.
Anyway, your team lost the midterms and instead of standing tall and debating the republicans about when it might be time to raise taxes to pay off trillions of dollars in republican debt, you instead find yourself all contorted to be able to kiss as many republican asses as possible. Amazing that for such a smart man and seemingly capable politician, you allow republicans to control and manipulate you at every turn. Remember the whole health care debate, where you dropped single payer because you wanted to negotiate with the republicans and when you sold out on every issue, they still never voted for it.
You are being played by unskilled hacks. How can that be? Where is the smart guy who gave all those speeches? The guy who was going to fight for fair taxes, the guy who was going to end the wars and the torture, the guy who was going to let gays serve their country in the Armed Forces? That guy is certainly not occupying the Oval Office.
PS; Hillary, I mocked you in 2008, but if you run, I will vote for you as often as possible.
The compromise, worked out in negotiations involving the White House, the Treasury and congressional leaders from both parties, includes provisions that each side doesn't like, Obama said in a hastily arranged statement to reporters after discussing the proposed deal with Democratic leaders.
Dear Mr. President,
I am done. You really seem like a nice enough guy, plenty to like about you, but you have let me down consistently and I am done. You were elected to do many things and even the ones you have tried to do, keep patting yourself on the back for that silly healthcare initiative you cobbled together, mostly you have bent over backwards to kiss the asses of your political enemies.
Seriously, for 8 years a complete moron occupied your office and he was able to do many terrible things just because he dared the wimpy democrats to come after him at a time of terror and war. It worked, he skipped out of office a disgrace, but not charged as a war criminal. Of course, you could have called for investigations, but you said it was best to leave that era behind. Of course you said that as your administration continued many of the dastardly ways of the Bush group. I will never understand why democrats allow impeachment when a man lies about a blow job and refuse to even investigate a president who happily admits to torture.
Anyway, your team lost the midterms and instead of standing tall and debating the republicans about when it might be time to raise taxes to pay off trillions of dollars in republican debt, you instead find yourself all contorted to be able to kiss as many republican asses as possible. Amazing that for such a smart man and seemingly capable politician, you allow republicans to control and manipulate you at every turn. Remember the whole health care debate, where you dropped single payer because you wanted to negotiate with the republicans and when you sold out on every issue, they still never voted for it.
You are being played by unskilled hacks. How can that be? Where is the smart guy who gave all those speeches? The guy who was going to fight for fair taxes, the guy who was going to end the wars and the torture, the guy who was going to let gays serve their country in the Armed Forces? That guy is certainly not occupying the Oval Office.
PS; Hillary, I mocked you in 2008, but if you run, I will vote for you as often as possible.
On the road
I am leaving early this morning for a series of assignments that take me all the way over there, then a long drive to get way out there and finally a very long drive to get me to the coast. Lots of driving and there is snow on the ground.
I may be completely typical when it comes to driving great distances. I like it. I listen to music, switch to conservative talk radio, find some interest discussions, go back to music, and so on. I can go for hours listening to classical music mixed in with some insane Rush Limbaugh rants.
When I moved back to Seattle in the early 90's I had a kitchen to rebuild in an old house we had purchased. I also had a chubby baby who I could lay down on the flood while I measured the cabinets. I would turn on the local radio station and tile the floor, or replace broken plumbing, or do a number of things it takes to make a kitchen work. He would lay on the flood, staring at the ceiling, sometimes sleeping.
I discovered Rush Limbaugh while working on that kitchen. He was hysterical. I had never heard someone so opinionated and so funny at the same time. While he was a right wing conservative, and his views on everything from freedom to murder were disgusting and wrong, I liked that he did share these opinion with a deep and profound laugh. When I realized he only said the things he did to garner attention and an audience I began to understand his brilliance. The more outrageous his lies, the more people would listen, the more people would listen, the more money he made. It was brilliant.
Over the years I hardly ever find him on the radio anymore. Last year I stumbled upon Howard Stern, who I first heard in the 80's in New York. I could never understand the controversy around the Stern show and I still don't. The easiest answer is that the people who complain about Howard Stern probably do not listen. Again, back to Limbaugh, who would use this same logic against people who complained about his simplistic and hateful views. He would say those people never listened. I had spent 6 months listening and all I ever came away with was that he was a brilliant liar, like the TV preachers, who almost always get caught with a hooker or boyfriend.
Stern on the other hand was a neurotic jew, someone I could relate to on a genetic level. He also had guests on who he disagreed with and he also had both gay people and prostitutes, which seemed like a good mix.
Today, when I listen to Stern, I find a middle aged man who is brilliant and entertaining. His politics, when he does share, seem a lot more understanding of modern politics than the screamers and schemers on the right. He also happens to be intelligent, which is another thing that is often missing in chat land. When you drive for hours and stumble upon people laughing and talking about a variety of subjects, it can be entertaining radio. When you hear the far right talkers, they seem solely focused on the things democrats do that are ruining this country, conveniently forgetting the things done to get us here.
Either way, early morning thoughts to a long few days of life on the road has again made me somewhat happy.
I may be completely typical when it comes to driving great distances. I like it. I listen to music, switch to conservative talk radio, find some interest discussions, go back to music, and so on. I can go for hours listening to classical music mixed in with some insane Rush Limbaugh rants.
When I moved back to Seattle in the early 90's I had a kitchen to rebuild in an old house we had purchased. I also had a chubby baby who I could lay down on the flood while I measured the cabinets. I would turn on the local radio station and tile the floor, or replace broken plumbing, or do a number of things it takes to make a kitchen work. He would lay on the flood, staring at the ceiling, sometimes sleeping.
I discovered Rush Limbaugh while working on that kitchen. He was hysterical. I had never heard someone so opinionated and so funny at the same time. While he was a right wing conservative, and his views on everything from freedom to murder were disgusting and wrong, I liked that he did share these opinion with a deep and profound laugh. When I realized he only said the things he did to garner attention and an audience I began to understand his brilliance. The more outrageous his lies, the more people would listen, the more people would listen, the more money he made. It was brilliant.
Over the years I hardly ever find him on the radio anymore. Last year I stumbled upon Howard Stern, who I first heard in the 80's in New York. I could never understand the controversy around the Stern show and I still don't. The easiest answer is that the people who complain about Howard Stern probably do not listen. Again, back to Limbaugh, who would use this same logic against people who complained about his simplistic and hateful views. He would say those people never listened. I had spent 6 months listening and all I ever came away with was that he was a brilliant liar, like the TV preachers, who almost always get caught with a hooker or boyfriend.
Stern on the other hand was a neurotic jew, someone I could relate to on a genetic level. He also had guests on who he disagreed with and he also had both gay people and prostitutes, which seemed like a good mix.
Today, when I listen to Stern, I find a middle aged man who is brilliant and entertaining. His politics, when he does share, seem a lot more understanding of modern politics than the screamers and schemers on the right. He also happens to be intelligent, which is another thing that is often missing in chat land. When you drive for hours and stumble upon people laughing and talking about a variety of subjects, it can be entertaining radio. When you hear the far right talkers, they seem solely focused on the things democrats do that are ruining this country, conveniently forgetting the things done to get us here.
Either way, early morning thoughts to a long few days of life on the road has again made me somewhat happy.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
In Memorium
From The New York Times:
RICHARD F. MASON
|
MASON--Dr. Richard F., 81, died November 26 at his home in Greenwich Village, New York City. A former Professor of Drama at Hofstra University, his teaching and research specialties were theater styles and forms, 20th-century drama, directing, acting, and cinema. After receiving a BA in Humanities from Boston College and an MA and Ph.D. in Theatre Arts from the University of Wisconsin--interrupted by Army service in Korea--he came to Hofstra in 1964 and retired with emeritus status in 1993. He excelled as a director, staging over 100 critically acclaimed productions during his career at Hofstra and at summer theaters in Wisconsin and New Hampshire. To his legion of students and friends, he was a dynamic force, theatrical to the core, a brilliant film buff--the stuff of legends, and unforgettable. His immediate family survivors include his sister, Margaret Silletti, her husband James and sons Stephen, Richard, and Michael of Norwood, MA; his deceased brother Anthony Ardolino's daughters, Julianna Fiore and Nadine Chiello of Taunton, MA; his cousin, Anna Mae Fioravanti of Arlington, MA, and her children David, Lisa Smith, and Gigi Lyons. As he wished, a memorial event is planned for early in the year in New York City.
RICHARD F. MASON
|
MASON--Dr. Richard F., 81, died November 26 at his home in Greenwich Village, New York City. A former Professor of Drama at Hofstra University, his teaching and research specialties were theater styles and forms, 20th-century drama, directing, acting, and cinema. After receiving a BA in Humanities from Boston College and an MA and Ph.D. in Theatre Arts from the University of Wisconsin--interrupted by Army service in Korea--he came to Hofstra in 1964 and retired with emeritus status in 1993. He excelled as a director, staging over 100 critically acclaimed productions during his career at Hofstra and at summer theaters in Wisconsin and New Hampshire. To his legion of students and friends, he was a dynamic force, theatrical to the core, a brilliant film buff--the stuff of legends, and unforgettable. His immediate family survivors include his sister, Margaret Silletti, her husband James and sons Stephen, Richard, and Michael of Norwood, MA; his deceased brother Anthony Ardolino's daughters, Julianna Fiore and Nadine Chiello of Taunton, MA; his cousin, Anna Mae Fioravanti of Arlington, MA, and her children David, Lisa Smith, and Gigi Lyons. As he wished, a memorial event is planned for early in the year in New York City.
Friday, December 3, 2010
The email stream
I get emails from people who refuse to post on the comments section. Emails galore. Here are some of them, with proper responses.
"Hi, I read some of your posts and I think you suck..."
Keep it in the comments stupid fuck.
"I am writing about what you said about transvestites. I can understand that you might THINK people who are different than you might be unwanted in an elevator, but to post it in a public blog? Classless..."
Try the comments, and some more makeup.
"Thank you for your recent submission..."
Enough said.
"I have not read all of your posts, but it seems to me you may be running out of steam, are you planning to continue? Do you take posts from other people? How would one go about writing for your blog?"
Move on.
"My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5+ years, and when we started to date, she was into everything and I will let you imagine what I mean by everything, but trust me, we were into it. After a year or so we seemed to kind of get into a regular thing, losing some of the more exotic stuff and finding a pattern that fit us well. I would say we were having sex 5-7 times a week, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. After year 3 a little less became the norm and after 5 years, we are down to about once a week, if that. We both work, have social lives, and both of us have enough stress to make the once a week venture more chore than sexual release. Can you offer any advice that would help us reconnect?"
I will need video to really help you out, send it to the same address.
"The price of gas has increased since Obama was elected. Unemployment is double digits. Wars continue, as does the American torture program. Taxes are about to increase for everyone, health care reform is not working, the rich get richer, the poor have less. When I voted for change, I thought it would be change for the better, but what we have is a darker shade of Bush. Are you proud to have supported this intellectual idiot?"
Darker shade of Bush, I will need video.
"I went to YouTube and saw some of the videos you claim to have done. A couple seemed really good..."
I never claimed anything.
"Have you ever wondered why you get email instead of comments?"
I get both, I delete comments often, just because. Email, I respond to privately, until I am tired, then I post them with pithy replies.
"We used to go out, many years ago, in Los Angeles. For a while we shared a house on Lookout Mountain. One night I came home drunk and we had a fist fight, the next day you drove away and disappeared. I think about you sometimes and read your blog and...."
I will continue to think stalking is sexy, until someone cuts me up with a chainsaw.
"Thank you."
You're welcome.
"Hi, I read some of your posts and I think you suck..."
Keep it in the comments stupid fuck.
"I am writing about what you said about transvestites. I can understand that you might THINK people who are different than you might be unwanted in an elevator, but to post it in a public blog? Classless..."
Try the comments, and some more makeup.
"Thank you for your recent submission..."
Enough said.
"I have not read all of your posts, but it seems to me you may be running out of steam, are you planning to continue? Do you take posts from other people? How would one go about writing for your blog?"
Move on.
"My girlfriend and I have been dating for 5+ years, and when we started to date, she was into everything and I will let you imagine what I mean by everything, but trust me, we were into it. After a year or so we seemed to kind of get into a regular thing, losing some of the more exotic stuff and finding a pattern that fit us well. I would say we were having sex 5-7 times a week, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. After year 3 a little less became the norm and after 5 years, we are down to about once a week, if that. We both work, have social lives, and both of us have enough stress to make the once a week venture more chore than sexual release. Can you offer any advice that would help us reconnect?"
I will need video to really help you out, send it to the same address.
"The price of gas has increased since Obama was elected. Unemployment is double digits. Wars continue, as does the American torture program. Taxes are about to increase for everyone, health care reform is not working, the rich get richer, the poor have less. When I voted for change, I thought it would be change for the better, but what we have is a darker shade of Bush. Are you proud to have supported this intellectual idiot?"
Darker shade of Bush, I will need video.
"I went to YouTube and saw some of the videos you claim to have done. A couple seemed really good..."
I never claimed anything.
"Have you ever wondered why you get email instead of comments?"
I get both, I delete comments often, just because. Email, I respond to privately, until I am tired, then I post them with pithy replies.
"We used to go out, many years ago, in Los Angeles. For a while we shared a house on Lookout Mountain. One night I came home drunk and we had a fist fight, the next day you drove away and disappeared. I think about you sometimes and read your blog and...."
I will continue to think stalking is sexy, until someone cuts me up with a chainsaw.
"Thank you."
You're welcome.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Jews for socks
The eight day Festival of lights is called Chanukah. The word Chanukah means dedication. After Judah Maccabee and his band of revolutionary Jews defeated the Assyrian/Greek Empire they discovered that their beloved Holy Temple had been defiled and rendered spiritual impure. It was on the 25th of Kislev (the first day of Chanukah) that the Temple was purified and rededicated.
Alternatively the word Chanukah can be deconstructed to be, ×—× ×• ×›"×”, which means, "they rested on the 25th." The 25th of Kislev (the first day of Chanukah) was the last day of the war against the Greeks and the beginning of a pretty sweet holiday vacation week.
Alternatively the word Chanukah can be deconstructed to be, ×—× ×• ×›"×”, which means, "they rested on the 25th." The 25th of Kislev (the first day of Chanukah) was the last day of the war against the Greeks and the beginning of a pretty sweet holiday vacation week.
My love of Klein
I think we all have addictions, so legal, like coffee, cigarettes or porn, some not so legal, like heroin, bank robbing and porn. I have a Klein addiction, which used to be a Felt, Cervelo and Trek addiction, but I lost of a shit load of money and those other toys had to be sold.
So now all I have to focus on is my Klein. This particular Klein has been with me for over 10 years. I have abused it, used it, loved it and crashed it a couple of times. It has damaged me as well, from knees and feet to some serious brain damage it inflicted onto me in a terrible beating 5 years ago. Love is like that.
I have been back on my Klein this week, in a 6 month attempt to get into shape for a few 100 mile rides in the spring and summer of 2011.
When I was riding every day and doing thousands of miles a month my sense was that I was always about a couple of weeks away from prime shape for long distance riding, such was my health at that point. After a serious injury/crash a few years ago, the time to being in great shape kept growing, from a month, to two, and now, it stands at about 6, and that is if I train hard. So, there I was, this morning, mounting the Klein and riding with passion.
Now, over the years, I have been on some top notch bikes. As my skills and ability grew, I would add a better cycle to the mix. When I was kind of forced to stop riding on roads, my interest faded. When I was drugged and damaged, it got worse. In fact, somewhere there exists video of me actually falling off a bike set up in my dining room, such was my sad abilities there at the end of all that treatment.
Motivated by my fiance and a series of good health news, I am back on a bike. Strange how the Klein has come back to me, almost willing me to get better on a variety of levels. This Klein, this bike, has been with me long enough to be the first bike I rode on my first century ride (one hundred miles) and also the bike I rode across Montana. I have always tortured the Klein, riding hard and punishing it for things it never deserved. Now that I am weak ad fat, the Klein is being stressed again. This morning, as I went through gears and rode in an empty bedroom, I had flashbacks to the great times this bike has given me.
Someday I will retire it and just hang it on a wall as an appreciation for everything this particular bike has given me. It's a strange thing to be so devoted and to love something that has two wheels, a greasy chain and a chipped and dirty paint job. It's not a bad thing, just a little strange.
You smell nice
Elevator story #17:
I just ran downstairs to see if there was some place that had fresh coffee. When I got in the elevator a well dressed younger man almost walked into me, surprised that the elevator had stopped at my floor, he was confused and attempted to leave before he realized it was the wrong floor.
He stepped back in, the doors shut and I realized that he was wearing some sort of intoxicating man perfume. Now, me, I am not into perfumes or really any other chemicals one could put on their body. It's a political thing for me.
But young well dressed man smelled swell. So much so, that I said, "is that a perfume that smells so good?" He looked at me like I was either coming on to him or that I was deranged, both of which have been proven time and time again to be untrue.
He smiled and said it was some after shower spray. Nice, I said. That was it. Just 7 floors down, the door opened, he walked out and I went in search of coffee, of which there was not to be a drop found.
I just ran downstairs to see if there was some place that had fresh coffee. When I got in the elevator a well dressed younger man almost walked into me, surprised that the elevator had stopped at my floor, he was confused and attempted to leave before he realized it was the wrong floor.
He stepped back in, the doors shut and I realized that he was wearing some sort of intoxicating man perfume. Now, me, I am not into perfumes or really any other chemicals one could put on their body. It's a political thing for me.
But young well dressed man smelled swell. So much so, that I said, "is that a perfume that smells so good?" He looked at me like I was either coming on to him or that I was deranged, both of which have been proven time and time again to be untrue.
He smiled and said it was some after shower spray. Nice, I said. That was it. Just 7 floors down, the door opened, he walked out and I went in search of coffee, of which there was not to be a drop found.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Elevator adventyure # 17
I am endlessly trying to engage people in my elevator chat experiment and today, well today was super.
I was waiting for the elevator and this stunning woman, at least from behind walked in front of me and stood right in the elevator doorway. She was talking on her phone and from my viewpoint she had the best backside I have seen since I accidentally walked into Madonna in Los Angeles in the late 80's.
The door opened and I pressed lobby. She looked at me, face to face now, and I nodded and then noticed that she had a much darker 5 o'clock shadow that I did. Oh hello Tranny I thought, nice butt. Instead, I said, "would you like me to push a button for you?"
Yike, might not have been the wisest thing to say to a tranny in need of a shave.
She smiled some sort of priceless smile. She continued her phone conversation. I guessed the lobby would work.
She turned, because in the tiny space of the elevator, the phone call remained private. Turning of course revealed, again, her best feature. Hello.
I was waiting for the elevator and this stunning woman, at least from behind walked in front of me and stood right in the elevator doorway. She was talking on her phone and from my viewpoint she had the best backside I have seen since I accidentally walked into Madonna in Los Angeles in the late 80's.
The door opened and I pressed lobby. She looked at me, face to face now, and I nodded and then noticed that she had a much darker 5 o'clock shadow that I did. Oh hello Tranny I thought, nice butt. Instead, I said, "would you like me to push a button for you?"
Yike, might not have been the wisest thing to say to a tranny in need of a shave.
She smiled some sort of priceless smile. She continued her phone conversation. I guessed the lobby would work.
She turned, because in the tiny space of the elevator, the phone call remained private. Turning of course revealed, again, her best feature. Hello.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The truth about education
WASHINGTON—The U.S. Department of Education released a comprehensive, nationwide evaluation of American schools Monday indicating that attempts to teach absolutely anything to these little shits is just a huge waste of everybody's time.
"We remain committed to providing every student in the country with access to a high-quality education," said Education Secretary Arne Duncan, adding that good schools are a key component to the success of American democracy. "But to be honest, none of that matters. We're not talking about promising young scholars here—we're talking about a bunch of fucking animals."
"We've basically flushed $11,000 down the toilet for every single one of these little bastards," Duncan continued. "Not to mention 18 years of my life."
The study, which analyzed the effectiveness of both public and private schools, found that efforts to enlighten these terrors on the subjects of math, history, grammar, and science are as productive as slamming your head into a goddamn brick wall. The research also confirmed that the unbearable shits, who take everything for granted, consistently piss away each learning opportunity they're given.
"When I first started teaching, I would see the smiling faces in my classroom and get excited about nurturing their young minds," said Melanie Whitman, 35, a first-grade teacher quoted in the report. "Now I can't look up from my desk without wanting to puke at the sight of all those little psychopaths."
Secretary Duncan said the study is the first to provide detailed evidence in support of the theory that third-grader Scott Kriesel is a complete fuck-up and perhaps even the living incarnation of Satan.
According to the report, billions of dollars in federal resources have been spent to modernize classrooms and improve teacher training, even though the little brats spend their entire days carving profanities into desks, shouting at whoever's in charge, and refusing to sit down, shut up, and actually learn something for once.
In addition, research suggests that school boards across the nation have grown tired of fighting to obtain funding for brand-new textbooks only to have the miserable fucks just deface them all with ejaculating penis drawings on the first day of class.
When asked if charter schools might help solve some of the problems faced by public education, Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller told reporters the data indicated any difference they made would amount to jack shit.
"Some charter schools perform better than their public counterparts, some don't," Miller said. "You can't change the fact that any school, no matter how it's funded, is ultimately just another type of building to contain these goddamn monsters for seven hours a day."
Miller added that more involvement from home was not the answer, either, as the little shits tend to have shithead parents who just make everything worse. The only findings from the study that provide a glimmer of hope, he said, are student absenteeism and dropout rates, which continue to increase.
"Christ, I dedicated my career to my students, actually thinking I could make a difference in their lives," middle-school teacher Joan Kubickers said Monday. "If I'd gone into public relations, I'd be making six figures by now. And at a PR firm, I bet I wouldn't have to worry about my tires getting slashed in the parking lot."
"Well, I have to go," she added. "The fucking hyenas in my third-period class await."
The Department of Education study comes on the heels of a survey last month that found 90 percent of all elementary school students resent being taught by pathetic losers who couldn't get a decent job in the real world.
"We remain committed to providing every student in the country with access to a high-quality education," said Education Secretary Arne Duncan, adding that good schools are a key component to the success of American democracy. "But to be honest, none of that matters. We're not talking about promising young scholars here—we're talking about a bunch of fucking animals."
"We've basically flushed $11,000 down the toilet for every single one of these little bastards," Duncan continued. "Not to mention 18 years of my life."
The study, which analyzed the effectiveness of both public and private schools, found that efforts to enlighten these terrors on the subjects of math, history, grammar, and science are as productive as slamming your head into a goddamn brick wall. The research also confirmed that the unbearable shits, who take everything for granted, consistently piss away each learning opportunity they're given.
"When I first started teaching, I would see the smiling faces in my classroom and get excited about nurturing their young minds," said Melanie Whitman, 35, a first-grade teacher quoted in the report. "Now I can't look up from my desk without wanting to puke at the sight of all those little psychopaths."
Secretary Duncan said the study is the first to provide detailed evidence in support of the theory that third-grader Scott Kriesel is a complete fuck-up and perhaps even the living incarnation of Satan.
According to the report, billions of dollars in federal resources have been spent to modernize classrooms and improve teacher training, even though the little brats spend their entire days carving profanities into desks, shouting at whoever's in charge, and refusing to sit down, shut up, and actually learn something for once.
In addition, research suggests that school boards across the nation have grown tired of fighting to obtain funding for brand-new textbooks only to have the miserable fucks just deface them all with ejaculating penis drawings on the first day of class.
When asked if charter schools might help solve some of the problems faced by public education, Deputy Education Secretary Anthony W. Miller told reporters the data indicated any difference they made would amount to jack shit.
"Some charter schools perform better than their public counterparts, some don't," Miller said. "You can't change the fact that any school, no matter how it's funded, is ultimately just another type of building to contain these goddamn monsters for seven hours a day."
Miller added that more involvement from home was not the answer, either, as the little shits tend to have shithead parents who just make everything worse. The only findings from the study that provide a glimmer of hope, he said, are student absenteeism and dropout rates, which continue to increase.
"Christ, I dedicated my career to my students, actually thinking I could make a difference in their lives," middle-school teacher Joan Kubickers said Monday. "If I'd gone into public relations, I'd be making six figures by now. And at a PR firm, I bet I wouldn't have to worry about my tires getting slashed in the parking lot."
"Well, I have to go," she added. "The fucking hyenas in my third-period class await."
The Department of Education study comes on the heels of a survey last month that found 90 percent of all elementary school students resent being taught by pathetic losers who couldn't get a decent job in the real world.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Is that so
A friend emailed me that a college professor has died. It got me thinking, because I do not spend a great deal of time looking over my shoulder. What I really realized is that when I was in college, all I really wanted to do was be a chicken farmer. True.
So there I was, in college, doing all sorts of things that I do not regret, although there was a night with a dancer that I clearly could have handled a lot better. Another night with my girlfriends roommate would, today, get me jailed, but back then, it was just kind of obnoxious. Ah, the good old days. You kids today have it so much harder than those of us lucky enough to have survived Flock of Seagulls.
I was cast in an obscure Tennessee Williams play, Suddenly Last Summer. I was in way over my head, it was a major college production, directed by the top professor in the college of arts. Not a small accomplishment to even get cast, but I was, back then, full of myself. I was supposed to play a doctor, and if I could remember anything else about the play I would be happy to share it with you, but instead, I will share how one man can offer both hope and consternation, all in the rehearsal process of a play.
Dr. Richard Mason was old when I was in college and a bit of a crank. I was lose and wild and possibly a drug addict. Why he cast me confounds me to this day. From almost day one, he and I did not work well together. He had his concepts and I had contempt. He was smart, but in my mind, I was there and he was in the background.
What I remember clearly is the day I showed up to rehearsal in a t-shirt and jeans. A little background, at that point in my life, I already had a couple of years of summer theater in Los Angeles in my pocket. I had worked with professional actors and directors, I had a little understanding of the creative process and I had a clear understanding that rehearsals were a time to learn lines, blocking and develop relationships. Dr. Mason had a different understanding. The crux of our disagreement went something like this.
Dr. Mason: Mr. Bertles, do you realize you are supposed to be a doctor in this play?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Mason: Do you really think a doctor would wear a worn shirt of unknown origin and some disgusting pants to his job?
Me: I am not sure, but I am not really a doctor, am I? I am just pretending to be a doctor in this play.
Dr. Mason: Yes, Mr. Bertles, that is true, but for you to convey who this doctor is, you should do your best to emulate the life a doctor at this point in time would be leading.
Me: I don't even know my lines yet.
Dr. Mason: And that Mr. Bertles, we will get to together.
He was a fierce man. A funny man. An intelligent and loving man. Intimidating, brilliant and a kind soul. If I were a better person, I would have stayed in touch with him, because I liked him, and in the end, he liked me.
He knew, upon graduation, that I would never be a chicken farmer. He also knew I would never be an actor. He had a twinkle in his eye when he told me that I was an artist who would never be comfortable working in collaboration with others. He was right.
So there I was, in college, doing all sorts of things that I do not regret, although there was a night with a dancer that I clearly could have handled a lot better. Another night with my girlfriends roommate would, today, get me jailed, but back then, it was just kind of obnoxious. Ah, the good old days. You kids today have it so much harder than those of us lucky enough to have survived Flock of Seagulls.
I was cast in an obscure Tennessee Williams play, Suddenly Last Summer. I was in way over my head, it was a major college production, directed by the top professor in the college of arts. Not a small accomplishment to even get cast, but I was, back then, full of myself. I was supposed to play a doctor, and if I could remember anything else about the play I would be happy to share it with you, but instead, I will share how one man can offer both hope and consternation, all in the rehearsal process of a play.
Dr. Richard Mason was old when I was in college and a bit of a crank. I was lose and wild and possibly a drug addict. Why he cast me confounds me to this day. From almost day one, he and I did not work well together. He had his concepts and I had contempt. He was smart, but in my mind, I was there and he was in the background.
What I remember clearly is the day I showed up to rehearsal in a t-shirt and jeans. A little background, at that point in my life, I already had a couple of years of summer theater in Los Angeles in my pocket. I had worked with professional actors and directors, I had a little understanding of the creative process and I had a clear understanding that rehearsals were a time to learn lines, blocking and develop relationships. Dr. Mason had a different understanding. The crux of our disagreement went something like this.
Dr. Mason: Mr. Bertles, do you realize you are supposed to be a doctor in this play?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Mason: Do you really think a doctor would wear a worn shirt of unknown origin and some disgusting pants to his job?
Me: I am not sure, but I am not really a doctor, am I? I am just pretending to be a doctor in this play.
Dr. Mason: Yes, Mr. Bertles, that is true, but for you to convey who this doctor is, you should do your best to emulate the life a doctor at this point in time would be leading.
Me: I don't even know my lines yet.
Dr. Mason: And that Mr. Bertles, we will get to together.
He was a fierce man. A funny man. An intelligent and loving man. Intimidating, brilliant and a kind soul. If I were a better person, I would have stayed in touch with him, because I liked him, and in the end, he liked me.
He knew, upon graduation, that I would never be a chicken farmer. He also knew I would never be an actor. He had a twinkle in his eye when he told me that I was an artist who would never be comfortable working in collaboration with others. He was right.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
A country of obese idiots
Because Hanukkah comes early this year, I ventured out into the vast desert of strip malls and boutiques to find some gift for my lovely babies. When I am out in public I am often shocked at my fellow Americans. I am not sure when we became such slow, fat and useless, but go anywhere and I promise the majority of the people will be, what a friend affectionately calls "Land Whales".
I was just looking for socks, so my interaction was limited. I did not spend a night parked in front of a store, I did not wake early, plan and position myself for the best deal. I just drove to a store, walked in and purchased socks. All around me were these cellphone talking, coffee drinking zombies.
Now, I am all for out of control gluttony as much as anyone can be, but seriously, do none of these people own a mirror or an honest friend? Honey, I do not need to hear your meaningless conversation while waiting in line to pay for some socks, I really don't. Plus, if you are going to share your lifes little secrets, could you at least lead a bit more interesting life? OK?
Here then, out of control, uncaring American Land Whales, lined up like sheep to slaughter, all for the possibility of purchasing what can honestly be called an unnecessary appliance of some sort. I wonder if sex shops have these same problems the day after thanksgiving.
I was just looking for socks, so my interaction was limited. I did not spend a night parked in front of a store, I did not wake early, plan and position myself for the best deal. I just drove to a store, walked in and purchased socks. All around me were these cellphone talking, coffee drinking zombies.
Now, I am all for out of control gluttony as much as anyone can be, but seriously, do none of these people own a mirror or an honest friend? Honey, I do not need to hear your meaningless conversation while waiting in line to pay for some socks, I really don't. Plus, if you are going to share your lifes little secrets, could you at least lead a bit more interesting life? OK?
Here then, out of control, uncaring American Land Whales, lined up like sheep to slaughter, all for the possibility of purchasing what can honestly be called an unnecessary appliance of some sort. I wonder if sex shops have these same problems the day after thanksgiving.
As goes Europe
This from the Washington Post. But first, anyone else just a little worried that countries with less per capita debt are in more trouble that the United States? I would say the writing is on the wall, but that wall is covered with writing, but people are too busy Xmas shopping to read it.
The debt crisis in Europe escalated sharply Friday as investors dumped Spanish and Portuguese bonds in panicked selling, substantially heightening the prospect that one or both countries may need to join troubled Ireland and Greece in soliciting international bailouts.
The draining confidence in Western Europe's weakest economies threatened to upend bond markets, destabilize the euro and drag out the global economic recovery if it is not quickly contained. It also underscored the mounting problems facing countries that during the past decade have both over-borrowed and overspent, and are now in danger of losing investor faith in their ability to make good on their massive piles of debt.
The perceived risk of debt defaults in Portugal and Spain drove their borrowing costs to near-record highs Friday, with the interest rate demanded on Portuguese bonds at a point where it could effectively cut the Lisbon government off from raising fresh cash to run the country.
As a result, Portugal was coming under pressure to immediately request a bailout from the European Union and International Monetary Fund. Officials in Lisbon responded by pushing through a painful round of budget cuts meant to reassure investors and rejected claims that they needed an emergency lifeline. Italian and Belgian borrowing costs also rose Friday.
The bigger fears, however, surrounded eroding confidence in Spain, whose faltering economy is more than twice the size of the Greek, Irish and Portuguese economies combined - meaning that a bailout there could run into the hundreds of billions of dollars.
Coupled with the pending bailout for Ireland and possibly Portugal, analysts said, a Spanish rescue could severely deplete the $1 trillion stability fund set up by the E.U. and IMF this year to contain the crisis. That could complicate the E.U.'s ability to mount a defense if another member nation were to need assistance.
At the same time, it remained unclear whether the stronger members of the 16 euro countries - particularly Germany, the region's economic powerhouse - are willing to dig deeper into their pockets to help shore up their troubled neighbors.
German officials were sending mixed signals. Axel Weber, president of Germany's central bank, suggested Thursday that the stability fund could be beefed up if needed. But on Friday, other German officials balked at the notion. Investors have also been rattled by a German proposal to have bond holders around the world - who have thus far effectively been guaranteed against losses - absorb some of the financial pain for future bailouts.
"There is neither a reason to consider [more funds] now, nor have there been any efforts by the European Union or by other parties to discuss this issue with the federal government," Steffen Seibert, spokesman for German Chancellor Angela Merkel, told reporters in Berlin. "This is a non-issue at the moment."
Depending on the severity of the crisis, the fallout for the United States could be relatively limited. U.S. banks hold about $133 billion in debt from Ireland, Spain, Portugal and Greece, only slightly more than banks in tiny Belgium. By comparison, German banks are liable for $515 billion, and French banks for about $400 billion.
A greater danger is that a full-blown debt crisis in Europe could put new pressure on the region's banks, tightening credit and potentially slowing growth in one of the world's largest economic engines. It could also send the euro plunging against the dollar, making the greenback stronger on world markets and undermining the efforts of the Obama administration to boost U.S. exports overseas.
The debt crisis in Europe escalated sharply Friday as investors dumped Spanish and Portuguese bonds in panicked selling, substantially heightening the prospect that one or both countries may need to join troubled Ireland and Greece in soliciting international bailouts.
The draining confidence in Western Europe's weakest economies threatened to upend bond markets, destabilize the euro and drag out the global economic recovery if it is not quickly contained. It also underscored the mounting problems facing countries that during the past decade have both over-borrowed and overspent, and are now in danger of losing investor faith in their ability to make good on their massive piles of debt.
The perceived risk of debt defaults in Portugal and Spain drove their borrowing costs to near-record highs Friday, with the interest rate demanded on Portuguese bonds at a point where it could effectively cut the Lisbon government off from raising fresh cash to run the country.
As a result, Portugal was coming under pressure to immediately request a bailout from the European Union and International Monetary Fund. Officials in Lisbon responded by pushing through a painful round of budget cuts meant to reassure investors and rejected claims that they needed an emergency lifeline. Italian and Belgian borrowing costs also rose Friday.
The bigger fears, however, surrounded eroding confidence in Spain, whose faltering economy is more than twice the size of the Greek, Irish and Portuguese economies combined - meaning that a bailout there could run into the hundreds of billions of dollars.
Coupled with the pending bailout for Ireland and possibly Portugal, analysts said, a Spanish rescue could severely deplete the $1 trillion stability fund set up by the E.U. and IMF this year to contain the crisis. That could complicate the E.U.'s ability to mount a defense if another member nation were to need assistance.
At the same time, it remained unclear whether the stronger members of the 16 euro countries - particularly Germany, the region's economic powerhouse - are willing to dig deeper into their pockets to help shore up their troubled neighbors.
German officials were sending mixed signals. Axel Weber, president of Germany's central bank, suggested Thursday that the stability fund could be beefed up if needed. But on Friday, other German officials balked at the notion. Investors have also been rattled by a German proposal to have bond holders around the world - who have thus far effectively been guaranteed against losses - absorb some of the financial pain for future bailouts.
"There is neither a reason to consider [more funds] now, nor have there been any efforts by the European Union or by other parties to discuss this issue with the federal government," Steffen Seibert, spokesman for German Chancellor Angela Merkel, told reporters in Berlin. "This is a non-issue at the moment."
Depending on the severity of the crisis, the fallout for the United States could be relatively limited. U.S. banks hold about $133 billion in debt from Ireland, Spain, Portugal and Greece, only slightly more than banks in tiny Belgium. By comparison, German banks are liable for $515 billion, and French banks for about $400 billion.
A greater danger is that a full-blown debt crisis in Europe could put new pressure on the region's banks, tightening credit and potentially slowing growth in one of the world's largest economic engines. It could also send the euro plunging against the dollar, making the greenback stronger on world markets and undermining the efforts of the Obama administration to boost U.S. exports overseas.
Sarah Palin for president, or something
This just in:
An outbreak of gonorrhea across Alaska that began in 2009 is continuing this year, and health officials say they are trying new ways to curb it. Between 2008 and 2009, the number of gonorrhea cases in Alaska rose an alarming 69 percent, according to a new U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report.
State health officials began calling attention to a spike in gonorrhea cases in Southwest Alaska more than a year ago and highlighted the statewide rise in March. The new report shows that Alaska ranks ninth in the nation for its rate of gonorrhea, compared with its ranking in recent years in the mid-20s. Alaska also is second in the nation for its high rate of chlamydia, another sexually transmitted disease that often is transmitted along with gonorrhea.
"Hopefully, the high numbers now are more of a success story in that people are coming in and getting tested. Though I am surprised the numbers haven't declined," said Susan Jones, the state's HIV/STD program manager. "It's this continuing rise in numbers that we haven't been able to get under control."
Symptoms can be mild, which may delay people coming in for testing and treatment, allowing them to continue to spread the disease, health officials say.
Back in the 1970s, a man with a gonorrhea infection would have experienced such painful burning and heavy discharge that he would have likely gone to the doctor within a week. Now, with the current, milder strain, he might not seek help for months.
The health consequences for untreated gonorrhea can be severe: People can become infertile, a result more common for women than for men, Jones said. Health officials will contact sexual partners of infected people and urge them to get tested and treated, without saying how they may have been exposed.
"I like to say, 'Care enough to get your partners identified and treated,'" Jones said.
TREATMENT: ONE PILL
Alaska's rate is about 144 reported cases per 100,000 people, compared with a national average of 99 cases per 100,000. Between 2000 and 2008, Alaska had an average rate of 85 cases per 100,000 people.
The disease is being found across the state but is especially prevalent in northern and western Alaska and in Southcentral, Jones said. Alaska Natives have higher rates than other groups, health officials say. For Alaska Native women, the rate was 656 per 100,000.
Women are far more likely to be tested, and treated, because they may go to the doctor for an annual exam to get birth control. Even when someone has been treated, they can become reinfected if they again have sex with someone carrying the bacteria.
"What goes around, comes back around," Jones said.
People with multiple sexual partners, and people who don't know their partners well, are at greater risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease, she said. Some patients don't know the name of the person they had sex with, which makes it hard for health officials to track them down and curb the disease's spread, she said.
Condoms protect against STDs, but people must use them correctly, every time. Testing can be done with a simple urine test or swab test that women can do themselves. Treatment is a single dose of an antibiotic, Jones said.
NEW WAYS TO FIGHT BACK
Health officials are trying to make testing and treatment more available -- and to prevent people from getting infected to begin with.
For instance, teens can order free condoms or ask questions about STDs on a website run by the Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium. The site is www.iknowmine.org, which refers to an individual's knowing his or her STD infection status.
"We're getting at least two or three orders a week," said Connie Jessen, STD program manager for the consortium.
A teen in a village might be reluctant to get tested at the local clinic where his or her aunt works. But soon, they should be able to order STD home testing kits for gonorrhea and chlamydia off the website through an effort being run with Johns Hopkins University, Jessen said.
In September, the consortium hosted a tribal task force meeting with the goal of getting health organizations to increase STD testing. Since then, health aides have been seeking resource materials and going to schools to talk to teens, Jessen said.
The consortium also soon should be launching a media campaign with radio and television public service announcements. It also is using Twitter and Facebook to try to spread the word about STD testing and treatment.
"I feel we're gaining some momentum," Jessen said.
Health officials call another promising new line of attack "expedited partner therapy."
In that CDC-backed approach, a doctor can write a prescription or provide the antibiotic for partners of a patient with an STD, without ever seeing the partner, Jones said. The Alaska State Medical Board recently changed its rules to specifically allow that therapy.
The patient could give the partner the medicine, or it could be made available at a pharmacy. In Juneau, the Native health corporation and the public health system have joined together in a version of that approach, Jones said.
CDC officials came to Alaska last summer to help the state determine whether health providers and patients statewide generally supported the therapy and how best to offer it.
Doctors accepted the idea, though some were concerned about patients having an adverse reaction to the antibiotic. If patients had to pick up the medicine at a pharmacy, the pharmacist could ask about any previous problems, Jones said.
Some patients said they would be comfortable giving the medicine directly to a partner they knew well but not one they didn't know well.
NUMBERS STILL HIGH
Even with the increased attention and effort, Alaska's gonorrhea numbers continue to climb.
The final count for 2009 was 1,006 cases -- which was even higher than what was reported to the CDC.
Already the number for 2010 has topped that, Jones said.
But while Alaska cases go up, the national rate dropped from 2006 to 2009, according to the CDC.
Health officials urge people who suspect they've been infected to get tested at their doctor's office, local public health clinic, Alaska Native regional health corporation clinic or Planned Parenthood clinic.
An outbreak of gonorrhea across Alaska that began in 2009 is continuing this year, and health officials say they are trying new ways to curb it. Between 2008 and 2009, the number of gonorrhea cases in Alaska rose an alarming 69 percent, according to a new U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report.
State health officials began calling attention to a spike in gonorrhea cases in Southwest Alaska more than a year ago and highlighted the statewide rise in March. The new report shows that Alaska ranks ninth in the nation for its rate of gonorrhea, compared with its ranking in recent years in the mid-20s. Alaska also is second in the nation for its high rate of chlamydia, another sexually transmitted disease that often is transmitted along with gonorrhea.
"Hopefully, the high numbers now are more of a success story in that people are coming in and getting tested. Though I am surprised the numbers haven't declined," said Susan Jones, the state's HIV/STD program manager. "It's this continuing rise in numbers that we haven't been able to get under control."
Symptoms can be mild, which may delay people coming in for testing and treatment, allowing them to continue to spread the disease, health officials say.
Back in the 1970s, a man with a gonorrhea infection would have experienced such painful burning and heavy discharge that he would have likely gone to the doctor within a week. Now, with the current, milder strain, he might not seek help for months.
The health consequences for untreated gonorrhea can be severe: People can become infertile, a result more common for women than for men, Jones said. Health officials will contact sexual partners of infected people and urge them to get tested and treated, without saying how they may have been exposed.
"I like to say, 'Care enough to get your partners identified and treated,'" Jones said.
TREATMENT: ONE PILL
Alaska's rate is about 144 reported cases per 100,000 people, compared with a national average of 99 cases per 100,000. Between 2000 and 2008, Alaska had an average rate of 85 cases per 100,000 people.
The disease is being found across the state but is especially prevalent in northern and western Alaska and in Southcentral, Jones said. Alaska Natives have higher rates than other groups, health officials say. For Alaska Native women, the rate was 656 per 100,000.
Women are far more likely to be tested, and treated, because they may go to the doctor for an annual exam to get birth control. Even when someone has been treated, they can become reinfected if they again have sex with someone carrying the bacteria.
"What goes around, comes back around," Jones said.
People with multiple sexual partners, and people who don't know their partners well, are at greater risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease, she said. Some patients don't know the name of the person they had sex with, which makes it hard for health officials to track them down and curb the disease's spread, she said.
Condoms protect against STDs, but people must use them correctly, every time. Testing can be done with a simple urine test or swab test that women can do themselves. Treatment is a single dose of an antibiotic, Jones said.
NEW WAYS TO FIGHT BACK
Health officials are trying to make testing and treatment more available -- and to prevent people from getting infected to begin with.
For instance, teens can order free condoms or ask questions about STDs on a website run by the Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium. The site is www.iknowmine.org, which refers to an individual's knowing his or her STD infection status.
"We're getting at least two or three orders a week," said Connie Jessen, STD program manager for the consortium.
A teen in a village might be reluctant to get tested at the local clinic where his or her aunt works. But soon, they should be able to order STD home testing kits for gonorrhea and chlamydia off the website through an effort being run with Johns Hopkins University, Jessen said.
In September, the consortium hosted a tribal task force meeting with the goal of getting health organizations to increase STD testing. Since then, health aides have been seeking resource materials and going to schools to talk to teens, Jessen said.
The consortium also soon should be launching a media campaign with radio and television public service announcements. It also is using Twitter and Facebook to try to spread the word about STD testing and treatment.
"I feel we're gaining some momentum," Jessen said.
Health officials call another promising new line of attack "expedited partner therapy."
In that CDC-backed approach, a doctor can write a prescription or provide the antibiotic for partners of a patient with an STD, without ever seeing the partner, Jones said. The Alaska State Medical Board recently changed its rules to specifically allow that therapy.
The patient could give the partner the medicine, or it could be made available at a pharmacy. In Juneau, the Native health corporation and the public health system have joined together in a version of that approach, Jones said.
CDC officials came to Alaska last summer to help the state determine whether health providers and patients statewide generally supported the therapy and how best to offer it.
Doctors accepted the idea, though some were concerned about patients having an adverse reaction to the antibiotic. If patients had to pick up the medicine at a pharmacy, the pharmacist could ask about any previous problems, Jones said.
Some patients said they would be comfortable giving the medicine directly to a partner they knew well but not one they didn't know well.
NUMBERS STILL HIGH
Even with the increased attention and effort, Alaska's gonorrhea numbers continue to climb.
The final count for 2009 was 1,006 cases -- which was even higher than what was reported to the CDC.
Already the number for 2010 has topped that, Jones said.
But while Alaska cases go up, the national rate dropped from 2006 to 2009, according to the CDC.
Health officials urge people who suspect they've been infected to get tested at their doctor's office, local public health clinic, Alaska Native regional health corporation clinic or Planned Parenthood clinic.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Philadelphia symposium
I spent a week in Philadelphia and all I got to show for it was a t-shirt and the sense that smokers might be the strongest addicts in the world.
First this, I was 20 stories above the city for much of my stay and I could never get away from the window, looking down on American history and some beautiful buildings that house libraries and great art.
I once had this same sense of history while peddling around Paris. My first sense was how lucky I was. As far as I knew, I was the first person in my family to stroll the streets of Paris and that simple fact was kind of powerful. There is something in our souls that screams out when we do something our ancestors may have done, but not our immediate relatives. Sure, somewhere along our family tree I am sure some genetic ancestor was walking around Paris, eating fresh bread and looking at beauty. The fact is, none of my more recent relatives had taken the time to do it and for me, it was a moment.
I am a fan or beauty, in architecture, sculpture and painting. Not sure why, but I am drawn to it, so to speak. In Philadelphia it is impossible to walk around without feeling the power of American history. A lot happened on those streets, from a constitution to a revolution and in many ways, you feel it and see it. Betsy Ross's house is still there, and the frame work of Ben Franklins place remains, and you can see where he spent his time. The old streets do not speak, but if you have an imagination, they whisper.
I am going back to Philadelphia this week, to make some money and do some work. It's not a bad thing, this American way of life, but when you look around at our decaying bridges and roads, the sense that we made a turn a few years back and are heading downward seems everywhere.
A few years ago my children and I spent Thanksgiving at a friends house and before the meal my friend gathered everyone together and we stood in a circle and everyone had an opportunity to express why they were thankful. Today, I have 2/3 of my babies here, a lover and soon a friend, and we will not be circling, but it is always a good time to look back and forward and be thankful. I am a firm believer that we are all lucky to be alive at this juncture of history. We can fly great distances and see the world. We can drive fast and arrive in great hotels and we can stay warm on the coldest of days.
First this, I was 20 stories above the city for much of my stay and I could never get away from the window, looking down on American history and some beautiful buildings that house libraries and great art.
I once had this same sense of history while peddling around Paris. My first sense was how lucky I was. As far as I knew, I was the first person in my family to stroll the streets of Paris and that simple fact was kind of powerful. There is something in our souls that screams out when we do something our ancestors may have done, but not our immediate relatives. Sure, somewhere along our family tree I am sure some genetic ancestor was walking around Paris, eating fresh bread and looking at beauty. The fact is, none of my more recent relatives had taken the time to do it and for me, it was a moment.
I am a fan or beauty, in architecture, sculpture and painting. Not sure why, but I am drawn to it, so to speak. In Philadelphia it is impossible to walk around without feeling the power of American history. A lot happened on those streets, from a constitution to a revolution and in many ways, you feel it and see it. Betsy Ross's house is still there, and the frame work of Ben Franklins place remains, and you can see where he spent his time. The old streets do not speak, but if you have an imagination, they whisper.
I am going back to Philadelphia this week, to make some money and do some work. It's not a bad thing, this American way of life, but when you look around at our decaying bridges and roads, the sense that we made a turn a few years back and are heading downward seems everywhere.
A few years ago my children and I spent Thanksgiving at a friends house and before the meal my friend gathered everyone together and we stood in a circle and everyone had an opportunity to express why they were thankful. Today, I have 2/3 of my babies here, a lover and soon a friend, and we will not be circling, but it is always a good time to look back and forward and be thankful. I am a firm believer that we are all lucky to be alive at this juncture of history. We can fly great distances and see the world. We can drive fast and arrive in great hotels and we can stay warm on the coldest of days.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Lust
I used to lust about all the things the bible tells me are acceptable objects of desire. Now, I lust after cars.
This is the time of life I could only dream about when I was lusting after bible related objects of desire.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The birth of everything
I have been working this week in Philadelphia, no internet, barely a phone and life in a building 20 stories up. I was walking downtown this morning and the woman I was with said, "this is where it all started."
It's true too, well, I am sure it's kind of true. A lot of what the United States is and was came from Philadelphia. It is a great city, I get there enough to know my way around, I have a favorite cheap Chinese restaurant, and for me, that is how I define if I know a city or not.
In fact, let's see, I have a favorite cheap chinese restaurant in LA, San Francisco, Portland Oregon, Seattle, Amsterdam, New York, Albany, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Philadelphia, Baltimore and maybe more, but it is late, I have been driving and I am kind of tired.
There was a point here, something about history and Philadelphia, but I am disconnected and burnt out.
I will say this, I am incredibly angry with Apple Computer. That's right, on one hand I love me some Apple Computer, but this morning, I was editing my latest film project and I had all these wonderful edits in place, voice over here, beautiful shot there, telling moment and then, spinny wheel of death and everything was lost. I wanted to cry and throw my laptop across the room.
Instead, I went to work and forgot about it. But the job is on a deadline and I am going to be working to meet it. So much was in place, all coming together and my computer let me down. Of course, I could never edit anything creative on any other type of computer, so I will make peace with Apple and love it again, just not tonight.
I did get the best fortune cookie message last night. It said romance was coming my way. How nice is that? I am way overdue for some romance. I am all a twitter over the idea. I am not much of a romantic, in fact, I just noticed recently that I am a terrible date, not that I was on a date or anything, I was thinking about dates I have had over the past 20 years or so. What I realized is that on very rare occasions was I honest. I would date, sometimes more than once, with people I just did not like. I can only think of one time that I snuck out of restaurant when I realized my date was a complete bone head. In reality, I could have used that move many many times, which made me think about the quality of the people I have dated. Then again, I was married.
It's true too, well, I am sure it's kind of true. A lot of what the United States is and was came from Philadelphia. It is a great city, I get there enough to know my way around, I have a favorite cheap Chinese restaurant, and for me, that is how I define if I know a city or not.
In fact, let's see, I have a favorite cheap chinese restaurant in LA, San Francisco, Portland Oregon, Seattle, Amsterdam, New York, Albany, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Philadelphia, Baltimore and maybe more, but it is late, I have been driving and I am kind of tired.
There was a point here, something about history and Philadelphia, but I am disconnected and burnt out.
I will say this, I am incredibly angry with Apple Computer. That's right, on one hand I love me some Apple Computer, but this morning, I was editing my latest film project and I had all these wonderful edits in place, voice over here, beautiful shot there, telling moment and then, spinny wheel of death and everything was lost. I wanted to cry and throw my laptop across the room.
Instead, I went to work and forgot about it. But the job is on a deadline and I am going to be working to meet it. So much was in place, all coming together and my computer let me down. Of course, I could never edit anything creative on any other type of computer, so I will make peace with Apple and love it again, just not tonight.
I did get the best fortune cookie message last night. It said romance was coming my way. How nice is that? I am way overdue for some romance. I am all a twitter over the idea. I am not much of a romantic, in fact, I just noticed recently that I am a terrible date, not that I was on a date or anything, I was thinking about dates I have had over the past 20 years or so. What I realized is that on very rare occasions was I honest. I would date, sometimes more than once, with people I just did not like. I can only think of one time that I snuck out of restaurant when I realized my date was a complete bone head. In reality, I could have used that move many many times, which made me think about the quality of the people I have dated. Then again, I was married.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Supporting Palin
I just got off the phone with a robot, who was kind enough to ask me who I would prefer to vote for in the 2012 presidential election. I was asked to press one for Romney, 2 for Huckabee, 3 for Gingrich, 4 for Palin, 5 for Obama and 6 for someone else. While I was tempted to go for 6, I chose Palin.
First off, Romney and his magic underwear scares me, as does Huckabee, Gingrich, Palin and someone else. While I am not a big Obama supporter, I do admire the republicans need to see him get re-elected. See, here is how we work things in America. You take a weak president, say Clinton second term, or more obviously, Reagan or Bush.2 second term. It seemed, at the time, that all three should have been easily beatable and all three got the second term they so cherished. Why? Because the opposing parties always follow the same rule, find the least electable candidate and run them for president against a weak president. Reagan got Mondale, Clinton Dole and Bush, that senator from Massachusetts, so unforgettable I forget him. Or her, I forget.
So, the republicans call and give me 4 choices for president in 2012. Four complete morons, compromised family values hypocrites and a very very stupid woman. How to chose who gets to lose to the sitting president? I picked Palin because, above all else, she is stupid and stupid people are fun to watch on TV. See, the best part of having Palin running for president is that she would have to act presidential. Imagine the hilarity of the debates, Miss Empty-Head just waiting to throw out a zinger, "gotcha" and the president, sounding smart and informed, only to be blindsided with, "well, there you go again."
So, my advice to you dear reader, is, if given a chance, go with Palin.
First off, Romney and his magic underwear scares me, as does Huckabee, Gingrich, Palin and someone else. While I am not a big Obama supporter, I do admire the republicans need to see him get re-elected. See, here is how we work things in America. You take a weak president, say Clinton second term, or more obviously, Reagan or Bush.2 second term. It seemed, at the time, that all three should have been easily beatable and all three got the second term they so cherished. Why? Because the opposing parties always follow the same rule, find the least electable candidate and run them for president against a weak president. Reagan got Mondale, Clinton Dole and Bush, that senator from Massachusetts, so unforgettable I forget him. Or her, I forget.
So, the republicans call and give me 4 choices for president in 2012. Four complete morons, compromised family values hypocrites and a very very stupid woman. How to chose who gets to lose to the sitting president? I picked Palin because, above all else, she is stupid and stupid people are fun to watch on TV. See, the best part of having Palin running for president is that she would have to act presidential. Imagine the hilarity of the debates, Miss Empty-Head just waiting to throw out a zinger, "gotcha" and the president, sounding smart and informed, only to be blindsided with, "well, there you go again."
So, my advice to you dear reader, is, if given a chance, go with Palin.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Bad parenting
I don't think it is a lie to say I am a terrible parent. For a variety of reasons too, not the least of which is that I can not remember if I indeed have children, and if I do have children where they are and who they are.
That said, when I had young babies living with me, I often had thoughts of the day they would move out and make a life of their own.
I still wait for those days to come, but today I am proud of my eldest daughter who was accepted to a decent college.
For a long time, when they were young, all I wanted to do was make sure they did not get molested. I would not let them out of my sight when we were in public and I lived in fear that they would have some terrible thing happen to them when they were visiting friends, hanging with grandparents or being exposed to some sort of nefarious monster while staying at some other relatives home.
Those things did not happen.
They ate healthy, played outside as much as any other child, played sports, read books, enjoyed cultural visits to great cities with amazing museums, libraries and historical artifacts. We took wonderfully fun summer vacations, they were out of control sometimes, appropriately, and often times they were just great to be around.
Now they are all prepping to leave the nest. My eldest already has, the middle child is in the process and the youngest, just today, reminded me that she has had the highest grades of any of the siblings.
Like planes lines up for landing, it all seems to be coming together.
Yet, I am the one not really ready for this next step.
That said, when I had young babies living with me, I often had thoughts of the day they would move out and make a life of their own.
I still wait for those days to come, but today I am proud of my eldest daughter who was accepted to a decent college.
For a long time, when they were young, all I wanted to do was make sure they did not get molested. I would not let them out of my sight when we were in public and I lived in fear that they would have some terrible thing happen to them when they were visiting friends, hanging with grandparents or being exposed to some sort of nefarious monster while staying at some other relatives home.
Those things did not happen.
They ate healthy, played outside as much as any other child, played sports, read books, enjoyed cultural visits to great cities with amazing museums, libraries and historical artifacts. We took wonderfully fun summer vacations, they were out of control sometimes, appropriately, and often times they were just great to be around.
Now they are all prepping to leave the nest. My eldest already has, the middle child is in the process and the youngest, just today, reminded me that she has had the highest grades of any of the siblings.
Like planes lines up for landing, it all seems to be coming together.
Yet, I am the one not really ready for this next step.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Actually, you can go home again
This is from the New York Times, and while in some ways sad, I am also heartened to see that his sons are looking out for their fathers best wishes. In the end of our lives, it is important that our children know us, love us and above all else, make sure that in the end we are cared for in a way we would have appreciated.
The New York Times reports:
Ariel Sharon, who had a major stroke while prime minister of Israel nearly five years ago and has since been in a coma in a hospital room, was moved on Friday to his ranch in the Negev Desert, hospital officials told Israel Radio.
A former close aide, Raanan Gissen, said in an interview that Mr. Sharon’s sons had been in discussion with Sheba Medical Center outside Tel Aviv about the move. An elevator and other equipment had been installed at the family ranch to accommodate his arrival and long-term care.
Hospital officials said Mr. Sharon would at first spend several days at a time at home and then return to Sheba Medical Center to be to monitored. Only after several successful trials at the ranch would he stay there permanently.
Mr. Sharon, 82, breathes on his own but is fed intravenously, Mr. Gissen said. Visits to his sterile hospital room had been tightly limited because of a fear of infection. The cost of keeping Mr. Sharon in the hospital, which is borne by the taxpayer, has been high and some commentators urged that he be moved to a long-term care facility or home.
Mr. Gissen said that given his age and the duration of the coma, it seemed like Mr. Sharon was unlikely to regain consciousness, but his sons remained hopeful. He noted that Mr. Sharon used to say that he enjoyed spending time at the ranch, surrounded by livestock and nature, and perhaps returning there would help. Mr. Sharon was widowed twice. His sons, Omri and Gilad, are in charge of his care and estate.
A former general who held nearly every major ministerial post, Mr. Sharon was elected prime minister in 2001 and was at the height of his power when he had the stroke in January 2006. Having spent his career as a noted hawk and champion of the settler movement, he stunned the world by removing Israeli settlers and soldiers from Gaza in the summer of 2005 and leaving his political home in the right-leaning Likud, establishing the centrist party Kadima instead.
The New York Times reports:
Ariel Sharon, who had a major stroke while prime minister of Israel nearly five years ago and has since been in a coma in a hospital room, was moved on Friday to his ranch in the Negev Desert, hospital officials told Israel Radio.
A former close aide, Raanan Gissen, said in an interview that Mr. Sharon’s sons had been in discussion with Sheba Medical Center outside Tel Aviv about the move. An elevator and other equipment had been installed at the family ranch to accommodate his arrival and long-term care.
Hospital officials said Mr. Sharon would at first spend several days at a time at home and then return to Sheba Medical Center to be to monitored. Only after several successful trials at the ranch would he stay there permanently.
Mr. Sharon, 82, breathes on his own but is fed intravenously, Mr. Gissen said. Visits to his sterile hospital room had been tightly limited because of a fear of infection. The cost of keeping Mr. Sharon in the hospital, which is borne by the taxpayer, has been high and some commentators urged that he be moved to a long-term care facility or home.
Mr. Gissen said that given his age and the duration of the coma, it seemed like Mr. Sharon was unlikely to regain consciousness, but his sons remained hopeful. He noted that Mr. Sharon used to say that he enjoyed spending time at the ranch, surrounded by livestock and nature, and perhaps returning there would help. Mr. Sharon was widowed twice. His sons, Omri and Gilad, are in charge of his care and estate.
A former general who held nearly every major ministerial post, Mr. Sharon was elected prime minister in 2001 and was at the height of his power when he had the stroke in January 2006. Having spent his career as a noted hawk and champion of the settler movement, he stunned the world by removing Israeli settlers and soldiers from Gaza in the summer of 2005 and leaving his political home in the right-leaning Likud, establishing the centrist party Kadima instead.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The obese monster
Well, there is always something to pay attention to and this morning, as I was walking into the building, an obese man with a huge belly hanging over way too tight pants looked at me and said "hey, how's it going?"
I have a theory about very obese people. They are hiding something, not literally because hardly anything is hidden with obese people. My sense is people who get that large have serious issues that they are not dealing with. This, instead of, say, getting counseling, they eat and do not exercise. Problem solved.
Except that they are in terrible shape, which can never be a good thing. I usually imagine that people who get that obese had some tragedy in childhood happen and they are eating as a way to insulate themselves from a cruel world. Of course the problem is that no matter how fat you get, because you have not dealt with the real issue, you may be insulating yourself from a healthy solution.
I was thinking about this when I answered the incredibly obese man, "fine". I did not ask him how he was doing because I knew the answer would be a lie, no matter what that answer actually was.
I have a theory about very obese people. They are hiding something, not literally because hardly anything is hidden with obese people. My sense is people who get that large have serious issues that they are not dealing with. This, instead of, say, getting counseling, they eat and do not exercise. Problem solved.
Except that they are in terrible shape, which can never be a good thing. I usually imagine that people who get that obese had some tragedy in childhood happen and they are eating as a way to insulate themselves from a cruel world. Of course the problem is that no matter how fat you get, because you have not dealt with the real issue, you may be insulating yourself from a healthy solution.
I was thinking about this when I answered the incredibly obese man, "fine". I did not ask him how he was doing because I knew the answer would be a lie, no matter what that answer actually was.
Did not see this
Dave Niehaus, Voice of Mariners, Dead at 75.
When I first moved to Seattle the Mariners sucked and you could get free tickets to the games just by walking near the old Kingdome and finding a Boeing rep. Boeing had purchased hundreds of season tickets and the employees refused the tickets, so some union doofus would stand outside the stadium and give them away. I had a studio across the street from the Kingdome and friends and I would grab some tickets and go to the games to cheer on a rookie Ken Griffey and some kid named Alex Rodriguez.
When I was in my studio painting I would listen to the games and Dave Neihaus was the announcer. There was nothing better than a Griffey homerun with Neihous excited, out of breath and full of wonder.
A great baseball announcer, and I grew up on Vin Sculley of the Dodgers, can bring the game to you while you continue on with the rest of your life. I built a deck on my house listening to the Mariners in the playoffs. My baby boy and I would drive around, listening to the game and trying to get him to nap. Years later my young son and I attended a game, only to leave when Griffey hit a homerun and fireworks exploded in the dome, scaring my baby to pieces.
Neihous was a great announcer, with a deep husky voice and a long and glorious history with the team from its inception through years of losing seasons and some very fine winning seasons. I never met him, my son did, but I liked his voice, his recollections and his understanding of the game.
When I first moved to Seattle the Mariners sucked and you could get free tickets to the games just by walking near the old Kingdome and finding a Boeing rep. Boeing had purchased hundreds of season tickets and the employees refused the tickets, so some union doofus would stand outside the stadium and give them away. I had a studio across the street from the Kingdome and friends and I would grab some tickets and go to the games to cheer on a rookie Ken Griffey and some kid named Alex Rodriguez.
When I was in my studio painting I would listen to the games and Dave Neihaus was the announcer. There was nothing better than a Griffey homerun with Neihous excited, out of breath and full of wonder.
A great baseball announcer, and I grew up on Vin Sculley of the Dodgers, can bring the game to you while you continue on with the rest of your life. I built a deck on my house listening to the Mariners in the playoffs. My baby boy and I would drive around, listening to the game and trying to get him to nap. Years later my young son and I attended a game, only to leave when Griffey hit a homerun and fireworks exploded in the dome, scaring my baby to pieces.
Neihous was a great announcer, with a deep husky voice and a long and glorious history with the team from its inception through years of losing seasons and some very fine winning seasons. I never met him, my son did, but I liked his voice, his recollections and his understanding of the game.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Breaking up is hard to do
I have had a series of phone calls and emails from a friend who is ending a long term relationship. Since I am somewhat shallow, I think people feel they can rely on me to listen and then spew out some simplistic answer and then they can hang up and cry.
A few days ago my friend, notice I am not giving anything away? Anyway, I get the call, I am driving home, in traffic, so I have plenty of time.
A little tangent, what the hell is wrong with you people? Did no one ever teach you to drive? First, merge lanes are meant for people to merge into traffic. Is you stop in a merge lane, you make it damn close to impossible to merge.I have lived in possibly 5 major cities, and driven in many more and I have never seen so many people stop in a merge lane. That said, rain should not slow you down. Now, I know, under our nice clothes and expensive cars, we are nothing but worried animals and water from the sky can be scary, but my lord, why do you slow to a crawl at the first drop? I lived in Seattle for a long time, which had the worst drivers ever, until here, and even there, where it rains almost daily, the morons behind the wheel would slow dramatically. I was never sure why, my sense was, they were stupid. Finally, accidents happen. We are a society in a hurry, if there is someone on the side of the road, changing a flat tire, getting a ticket, taking a business call, there really is no reason to slow to check it out. Seriously, you may not be in a hurry, heck I am not in a hurry, but it is insane to just stop and watch. That is what TV is for, rush home so you can watch nothing for hours at a time, but seriously, get out of my way.
Where was I?
Breaking up is almost always terrible for almost everyone. It has generally not been for me, which is why this particular friend called. I was asked about ending my longest term relationship, and I told the truth, best thing ever. How about a more recent break up? Even better, cutting the fat, so to speak. What about my first love? I shared the story, left behind a great job, woke up early on a monday morning, got in my Volvo and drove from Los Angeles to New York, not in a single day, but it was a nice drive. This was before cellphones, so if you wanted to leave someome and you had the majority of your necessary goods in your car, you could wake early, drive and never hear from them. Again, joyous.
My friend asked if all breakups made me happy and I said, not at the time, but mostly. When I kicked my wife out of the house, it took me less than 24 hours to get over it. Not completely, because we had all those ties, a house, a car, a child or 3. But for me personally, it was long past due. I had already moved on when the obvious break up time showed up. That was my point to my friend, breakups are hardly ever an accident. We know months, sometimes years in advance that this is just not right. My friend said that the partner had been cheating. Join the club I said, we all have had someone cheat on us, or been the cheater. Either way it really does not matter. It is just part of the process.
In Seattle I learned the lovely nature of passive aggressive communication. When I would witness other peoples relationships hitting the skids, I would see all sorts of reasons and justifications. In every case, the breakup would be a lot better if the people involved just realized that breaking up is a good thing. If it was not time to break up, you would not be breaking up. If you had a killer sex life, your partner would not be looking elsewhere. If you had mutual respect and communication, your partner would not be looking elsewhere. See, the relationship was over, no one bothered to tell you, or them, or someone.
It has always seemed like many people lose the ability at brutal honesty. At some point, you have to look at where you are and realize you chose to take the path that led to where you are. If your relationship is on its last legs, you are responsible for that condition. If you are shocked to find out your partner is searching online for the next great attraction, maybe it has something to do with how you two have been getting on for a few weeks, months, years. There hardly are ever real surprises, just an awareness that comes with finding out the truth.
My friend will be OK, but not because of anything I have said. My advice was, immediately go on a bimbo date. Date someone stupid, that way the talk is simple and does not weigh you down. Have a sexual relationship with someone who you have no interest in. This all fell on deaf ears, but for some people, it works. I also mentioned that some people find great joy in taking up a hobby that makes you sweat. I recommended cycling or training for a marathon. Serves a few purposes, you get in shape, which is handy when dating, you get a high from the actual exercise and you are out and about in skimpy attire, again with the dating thing. See, when you are newly single, the world is at your feet. It is a matter of perspective I told my friend. Everyone can get depressed and spend a few months eating ice cream and complaining about their ex. It is a lot healthier to walk away, move on as quickly as possible, date someone new and exciting within the first 24-48 hours of the break and raise your expectations.
Of course, I did mention that there had been a series of phone calls. One of them was how hard it was to find a date. One was how sore a body gets after a 5 mile run. Another had to do with couples counseling, which I was adamant about, waste of time. The final one was post sexual experience. My friend sounded a bit better, but conflicted, this was the first new person in a long time. I asked how it was, and the answer was silence, then "different" and then silence. And then "kind of amazing."
My work here has been done.
Next!
A few days ago my friend, notice I am not giving anything away? Anyway, I get the call, I am driving home, in traffic, so I have plenty of time.
A little tangent, what the hell is wrong with you people? Did no one ever teach you to drive? First, merge lanes are meant for people to merge into traffic. Is you stop in a merge lane, you make it damn close to impossible to merge.I have lived in possibly 5 major cities, and driven in many more and I have never seen so many people stop in a merge lane. That said, rain should not slow you down. Now, I know, under our nice clothes and expensive cars, we are nothing but worried animals and water from the sky can be scary, but my lord, why do you slow to a crawl at the first drop? I lived in Seattle for a long time, which had the worst drivers ever, until here, and even there, where it rains almost daily, the morons behind the wheel would slow dramatically. I was never sure why, my sense was, they were stupid. Finally, accidents happen. We are a society in a hurry, if there is someone on the side of the road, changing a flat tire, getting a ticket, taking a business call, there really is no reason to slow to check it out. Seriously, you may not be in a hurry, heck I am not in a hurry, but it is insane to just stop and watch. That is what TV is for, rush home so you can watch nothing for hours at a time, but seriously, get out of my way.
Where was I?
Breaking up is almost always terrible for almost everyone. It has generally not been for me, which is why this particular friend called. I was asked about ending my longest term relationship, and I told the truth, best thing ever. How about a more recent break up? Even better, cutting the fat, so to speak. What about my first love? I shared the story, left behind a great job, woke up early on a monday morning, got in my Volvo and drove from Los Angeles to New York, not in a single day, but it was a nice drive. This was before cellphones, so if you wanted to leave someome and you had the majority of your necessary goods in your car, you could wake early, drive and never hear from them. Again, joyous.
My friend asked if all breakups made me happy and I said, not at the time, but mostly. When I kicked my wife out of the house, it took me less than 24 hours to get over it. Not completely, because we had all those ties, a house, a car, a child or 3. But for me personally, it was long past due. I had already moved on when the obvious break up time showed up. That was my point to my friend, breakups are hardly ever an accident. We know months, sometimes years in advance that this is just not right. My friend said that the partner had been cheating. Join the club I said, we all have had someone cheat on us, or been the cheater. Either way it really does not matter. It is just part of the process.
In Seattle I learned the lovely nature of passive aggressive communication. When I would witness other peoples relationships hitting the skids, I would see all sorts of reasons and justifications. In every case, the breakup would be a lot better if the people involved just realized that breaking up is a good thing. If it was not time to break up, you would not be breaking up. If you had a killer sex life, your partner would not be looking elsewhere. If you had mutual respect and communication, your partner would not be looking elsewhere. See, the relationship was over, no one bothered to tell you, or them, or someone.
It has always seemed like many people lose the ability at brutal honesty. At some point, you have to look at where you are and realize you chose to take the path that led to where you are. If your relationship is on its last legs, you are responsible for that condition. If you are shocked to find out your partner is searching online for the next great attraction, maybe it has something to do with how you two have been getting on for a few weeks, months, years. There hardly are ever real surprises, just an awareness that comes with finding out the truth.
My friend will be OK, but not because of anything I have said. My advice was, immediately go on a bimbo date. Date someone stupid, that way the talk is simple and does not weigh you down. Have a sexual relationship with someone who you have no interest in. This all fell on deaf ears, but for some people, it works. I also mentioned that some people find great joy in taking up a hobby that makes you sweat. I recommended cycling or training for a marathon. Serves a few purposes, you get in shape, which is handy when dating, you get a high from the actual exercise and you are out and about in skimpy attire, again with the dating thing. See, when you are newly single, the world is at your feet. It is a matter of perspective I told my friend. Everyone can get depressed and spend a few months eating ice cream and complaining about their ex. It is a lot healthier to walk away, move on as quickly as possible, date someone new and exciting within the first 24-48 hours of the break and raise your expectations.
Of course, I did mention that there had been a series of phone calls. One of them was how hard it was to find a date. One was how sore a body gets after a 5 mile run. Another had to do with couples counseling, which I was adamant about, waste of time. The final one was post sexual experience. My friend sounded a bit better, but conflicted, this was the first new person in a long time. I asked how it was, and the answer was silence, then "different" and then silence. And then "kind of amazing."
My work here has been done.
Next!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Elevator encounter
On the way to the 20th floor, again, to visit the most vivacious and smart attorney I know. The doors opened at 4. A woman walked in, casual business attire, long dark hair, pulled back, thin, clean face. She walked in, pushed against the far wall and pressed 16. She looked at me, I looked at her. There was a deep sadness in her eyes and when she caught me analyzing her look she said, "I am leaving my husband." I asked her if she was OK, because she looked frail and troubled. She said she was fine, it was time, there was nothing left. I stood quietly for a second, wondering why strangers always felt comfortable telling me their deepest secrets. I told her that divorce can be a very positive thing. She kind of smiled a crooked smile, there was a sexiness behind those expressive eyes that made me think she was much more than the broken wife. I asked what the final straw was. "There was never a straw, and that's the problem." The doors opened, she walked out, never looking back.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Election hope
I am kind of happy with the results of this past tuesdays election, although I could really care less. See, in my life, I have seen some decent presidents and some retarded presidents and neither has really done much to change my life in an meaningful way.
What I do like about the election results is now the republicans will now be responsible for actually doing something. Politics has always been something of a team sport, from the spectators (voters) to the players (the people who run for office) to the owners (big corporations). What is amazing to me is how silly it all has become. Seriously, while elections can be fun, for the most part, they don't really do all that much.
Now, I know people love the give and take of debates, but for me, it has all run its course. I'd much rather go fishing and I don't even like fishing. Speaking of fishing, I got the strangest call the other night.
Pot Smokin Bone Head calls me at around midnight my time, PSBH is never aware of time zones, so one can expect calls at the crack of dawn or midnight. PSBH called to ask me some serious questions. Since it was late, I told PSBH that I had to get some sleep, but instead of just letting me go, he had all sorts of arguments about why I should wake up and pay attention.
Instead, I laid the phone down next to my bed and dozed off. About 7 hours later I woke, saw the phone on the floor and remembered what had happened. The phone battery had died.
Which brings me back to the important type of question, if someone is sharing something important from their life with you, and you don't hear them, don't remember it or something else, did the conversation actually happen and was it important?
I, of course, have no answer, but it did make me think. I wonder what PSBH had to say that was so important, so necessary that I should stay awake to listen. I have yet to hear back, so if it was time sensitive, I missed the deadline.
What I do like about the election results is now the republicans will now be responsible for actually doing something. Politics has always been something of a team sport, from the spectators (voters) to the players (the people who run for office) to the owners (big corporations). What is amazing to me is how silly it all has become. Seriously, while elections can be fun, for the most part, they don't really do all that much.
Now, I know people love the give and take of debates, but for me, it has all run its course. I'd much rather go fishing and I don't even like fishing. Speaking of fishing, I got the strangest call the other night.
Pot Smokin Bone Head calls me at around midnight my time, PSBH is never aware of time zones, so one can expect calls at the crack of dawn or midnight. PSBH called to ask me some serious questions. Since it was late, I told PSBH that I had to get some sleep, but instead of just letting me go, he had all sorts of arguments about why I should wake up and pay attention.
Instead, I laid the phone down next to my bed and dozed off. About 7 hours later I woke, saw the phone on the floor and remembered what had happened. The phone battery had died.
Which brings me back to the important type of question, if someone is sharing something important from their life with you, and you don't hear them, don't remember it or something else, did the conversation actually happen and was it important?
I, of course, have no answer, but it did make me think. I wonder what PSBH had to say that was so important, so necessary that I should stay awake to listen. I have yet to hear back, so if it was time sensitive, I missed the deadline.
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