My former nanny Newt Gingrich, true story, is now steaming ahead of Jasper Flem as this weeks Republican nominee. It's kind of frustrating, because if I you search your soul and really give it some serious deep thought, Flem really is the only republucan who shares our values, who speaks to the issues that matter most to us, who really seems to care about the things that we all care about. When you think about it.
Put Gingrich aside for a second, and Harry Cane too, or whatever that guy who just quit, him too. My favorite new mannequin is this former Massachusetts governor and magic underwear wearing Mormon robot Mitch Romney. The video below is a crazy example of the power of editing, but it is also incredibly funny.
Stand back for a minute and just relish the idiocy of the republicans right now. Every week there is a stranger and more dimwitted leader for the nomination. One week it was actually celebrity hairpiece Donald Trump. It's a great art experiment and just when you think that after crazy eye Michelle Bachmann and her super gay husband could never be matched, along comes seriously loony Texas governor quick draw forgettaboutit. Another week it is the strangest pizza shop owner I have ever seen, who never answers a question with an answer, but more like some sort of Shakespeare on crack soliloquy. Finally, stumbling out of a Las Vegas 5 minute marriage lounge comes this sweet little bombastic cherub, full of vigor and anger and it's just so much fun, so the republicans let him be number one this week. Now, trust me, there is no way that they can top Newt Gingrich in this years reality show, "how I met your really stupid idiotic insane nominee."
Exactly what this country needs, an outsider with fresh ideas, someone not from WashingtonDC, who is not owned by big business and FoxNews, who is willing to get things down and not just scream and yell and throw tantrums and be a flaming ass hole. No, Newt is a real leader, he will not waste time doing stupid things, he will balance the budget, not shut the government down, he will pass important legislation, not impeach the president for blow jobs (while fucking interns he will later marry), thank the lord Newt is leading now, cause he is not tainted by years of taking millions for lobbying and being a sleazy insider. Finally a real republican we can all be proud of.
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