The start of thanksgiving in Pascovillia

The 1996 war for the long term defeat of communism in the Northwestern Hemisphere of the Southern District of Western Uzebeckyistan where the allied troops soundly defeated the rag tag group of drunks and sodomites who had formed an allegiance bent on the destruction of both capitalism and various college alumni associations.

As history has recorded, the uncivil and moronic people of Uzebeckyistan had held a bozo election. They called it a Bozo election because every 7 years they elected the prime minister, or Bozo of Uzebeckyistan, and the last Bozo election had been declared extremely silly by both the United Nations and Fox News.

With so much at stake, from the vast gold fields of the Fingerbut region, to the diamond headed trout lakes to the south, it seemed when a new Bozo was elected in Uzebeckyistan, the world was watching, at least this time. Then again, with Dancing with the Almost Stars the only other programming available, even TV watching morons were tuning in to the election results from Uzebeckyistan.

Then again when Bozo Bennedict took power in his ruthless ways, no one seemed to care. First, after his wife Ruth had died in a terrible plane crash (she had never piloted a plane before, so the crash was not really a surprise to anyone), he seemed to be much less angry. Then, the night of the annual beheadings, he was watching the world cup in the presidential split level. It was the first time in recent memory that the annual beheading ceremony had been completely unattended.

There are many customs that people find unusual in Pascovillia. At the start of every summer, the men dress is short skirts with nothing underneath and parade around the city streets, drinking cheap vodka and telling sorry stories about their childhood spent on republic farms. Many of the stories involve goats, arugula and cheaply made Chinese shoes. History seems to indicate that the formation of the game of basketball came about from this time, but no one is quite sure how or why.

When the war came, most of the people were worried it might upset the television show, Today in Uzebeckyistan. On that show, a blonde woman once gave birth to a small human-like child. Things like this were now the expected programing and any war would have to be scheduled around the show. Last week the show determined that the only thing people would be willing to watch was a monkey eating lit cigarettes. While this was sublimely entertaining, at some point the chimp itself caught fire, ran to the cameraman, who also caught fire and within 5 minutes the entire studio burned to the ground, leading to the cancellation of the show. No one noticed.

The fact was related to the NATO general in charge of both the invasion and the cleanup. A lot of people do not realize that many invading forces do not factor the cost of cleaning up when they plan a war. That can get very expensive. In fact, one United Nations report suggested that the cost of war could be completely saved if a large plane filled with thousand dollar bills was just crashed into the invading countries capitol. This act alone could save the world billions.

Arugula, cheap shoes and a pound of butter is exactly what people kept adding to the burning thousand dollar bills and they called what the created Meat Loaf. Such is the creative spirit of the people of Pasovillia.