Flem attacks

I am monotoring the reaction to yesterdays heroic and awkward announcement that famed industrialist and gentleman barber Jasper Flem is running for the republican nomination for president.

Of course Fox News bent over forward to praise the wealthy Southern gentlemen. Bill O'Reilly said during his show, "I'm insane and you're stupid" last night that "Flem is the sort of Republican Reagan would be proud to call son, or Dudly, or almost anything." He then went on to call democrats the walking dead, dangerous to all of humanity and devils. Later that night clinically insane Glen Beck crowed the Flem "is sexy in his tights and bat suit." No one was quite sure what to make of this, so basically, it was a typical day on the Glen Beck show.

Rush Limbaugh, the enormous mouthpiece of the retarded and dangerous went on his show yesterday and said, "folks, I am going to tell your something about Jasper Flem. This is a real American hero. Flem has been around for a long time, in the background of the political movement we all support. Flem is one of us. Flem will represent us, not just the super rich, but the regular rich and even the mostly wealthy. Now, I am not fully supporting him at this point, but when I look at the pool of candidates to beat the Kenyan from Hawaii, I know Jasper Flem has the best chance of bringing this country back to where it belongs, giving hige tax cuts to me and my super wealthy friends and cutting the welfare programs and safety net that the poor people continually take advantage of. My friends, Jasper Flem is the real deal."

Most disturbing was the reaction of a woman described as the former governor of Alaska. Now, don't get me wrong, but Alaska was once an actual state of the United States before the purging of useless land and oil wells in the fall of 2004. Ms. Palin took to her Twitter platform last last night and without any sense of irony claimed that Jasper Flem is, "an empty suit, with no real ideas, no real plans for the future and no Twitter or Facebook accounts."

While dining with his wife and one of his maids last night in rural West Virginia, Flem only said, "I've had way too much beer to discuss that empty headed idiot." With that he threw his doggy bag at the TMZ camera operator, Fench kissed his maid and gave his wife the keys to his truck and drunkenly said, on camera, "honey, make yourself useful and get daddy his truck."

Flems official reaction to the Palin attack is here.

This blog is dedicated not only to the Flem campaign, how could we not be, but also to helping spread Flem every chance we get. As Jasper Flem has already said at every juncture, "folks, it's always better to spread Flem than Santorum."