Stupids driving

I had some work to do downtown, so I walked it, as is my practice. As I was prancing, yes I prance, across a crosswalk, a car making a left, kept coming, directly at me.

Now, first things first, I have often told my young innocent babies that while walking humans have the right of way on all streets, especially in crosswalks, and you will likely win the lawsuit over the fat headed idiot who runs you over, what you will not win is a new hip or the ability to dance without pain. So, in short, avoid getting hit even though you may be in the right.

That said, last week I was notified that I am now listed as a qualified spokesman for Traumatic Brain Injury. So, imagine that, someday in the future you may be watching your big giant TV box and a story on brain injuries comes on and before you can find the remote to change channels, there is my distorted and grotesque face, crying about this or that, possibly the Trump presidency, possibly just gas, but without a doubt, speaking up on behalf of my brothers and sisters who have suffered injuries to the noggin.

I was not thinking about that as this car bore down on me this morning. Instead, I looked at the driver, who happened to be on the phone and showing no sign of seeing me, or planning to stop. Just then, my neck was yanked back, along with my body. I could not see it at the time, but a large black hand had reached out from behind me, grabbed my collar and pulled, hard. The driver continued on her merry way, never slowing and she would have hit me had the large black hand not grabbed me and pulled.

I turned and the large man, with the large hand and the muscles strong enough to yank me from harms way smiled at me and said, "she sure was ignorant." I was trying to catch my breath and as I said thank you, he continued to speak into his phone, saying, "no, some guy almost got hit by an ignorant bitch."

So dreadlocked man with muscled and a gentle touch, because you did not ruin my shirt as you saved my life and you were sweet enough to describe the driver in terms that were both fitting and accurate, I proudly say, thank you dear man. For without you and your strong hand, I might have lost the ability to speak on behalf of traumatic brain injury, or much more, today, in a crosswalk, in a city in America.