One of those moments

New love, true love, is something we all know and respect, I think. I mean, it's kind of like when you see a pregnant woman and even the skeeziest of scummy people will hold a door open. Every where I have been in live, people get out of the way of pregnant women, they are honored on almost an animalistic level. Even crackhead pregnant women get the door held for them. There are parts of our world that we all just seem to understand. So when we see new love, we honor it, we look at it and hope for it. New love is better than old love because it does not have a history, yet.

So I was sitting on my porch and I heard this conversation. Since I did not see the conversationalists, I will call them S and B.

S; Well, you know, I think you're sexy as all get out.

B; You say that, but how do I know you mean it.

S; I'm here right now, ain't I?

B; Yeah.

S; And baby, you get your hair done, you will be so hot.

B; Thought I was hot.

S; Oh, you is, but get it done, you super hot.

B; Yeah baby.

S; You in my heart baby.

B; What's that?

S; You in my heart baby, you have a place in my heart.

B; Yeah? I don't know what that means.

S; You know, baby, you inside of me. In here.

B; Yeah. OK.

S; Serious.

B; Yeah, OK.

S; And baby, when we together, it's magic.

B; That much is true.

S; Magic.

B; You amaze me.

S; No, you amaze me baby.

B; Yeah?

S; Oh yeah baby.

B; You wanna go back inside?

S; Serious?

B; Serious.

Right around there I was feeling all kinds of guilty. I mean, obviously this was some sort of ghetto seduction I was listening in on, right there, in my own front yard, and dang if it did not make any sense at all to me. Baby this, serious that, not a word making a bit of sense. Kids these days.

Then I stood up to get another beer and I looked over the railing. Laying there in front of me, my lawyer, Beth Libitard, getting all sorts of cozy with Edith the slug. I wanted to throw up. My lord, if she was not my lawyer, I swear I would kick her out of my house.