I love Rachel Maddow

I have always loved women for a variety of reasons, not the least of which was a mostly hairless body. I know, it's not nice to admit such a thing, but it's true, which makes it a little easier to swallow.

So, ask yourself, what makes for a good nights sleep. Go ahead, ask, I'll wait.

I will not tell you what has been helping me sleep better lately, although if you run with hairless bodies, you will probably figure it out. Here is the thing, I listen to Rachel Maddow via podcasts when I am in need of sound sleep. It has nothing to do with her politics, which I generally find juvenile and boring. No, it has everything to do with her delivery. She is so incredibly boring that I can not make it to the first commercial break before I am gone.

Oh, I have tried others. Glenn Beck was a recent date. We got along just fine, he too is a bore and he speaks in a lilting little boys voice that could be soothing, except for the insanity that comes out of his strange smiling mouth. It is almost impossible to sleep listening to a former addict whine on about the end of the world.

Here is what I know about former addicts, this is the truth too, they were better off as addicts. I know, unfortunate, but true. See most addicts were interesting and fun when they were doing whatever it was they were addicted to. Oh, I do like me the druggies and drunks, fun and funny. But you get a reformer in your life and it will be hell. Why you ask? Do the math, addicts are liars and cheats, it is part of the addict personality. Now, guess what? Former addicts still have the need to lie and cheat, but they are much better at it because they are no longer governed by their drugs of choice. What you get with former addicts is supreme level of deception. Which is why a guy like Beck, who used to run a radio morning zoo show, can not seriously preach to the inbred and genetically flawed with a straight face. Addicts can lie to you, stare you in the eye, demand that you believe them because they are former addicts and their life is now based on morals and integrity, and everything they say is built on a solid foundation of deception and fabrication.

Glenn Beck is a former addict, and trust me on this, he would be so much more fun to watch if he started each show a little bit drunk and high, and at every break he did a couple of shots, smoking a bong hit or two and...."we're back..."

Imagine how much fun it would be. In fact, I am not sure that addict Glenn is not really all high and stuff when he does his little pony act for the neurotic and insane. I spent a couple of days trying to sleep to Glenn Becks preaching and all it left me with was a desire to be as high as he was.

Even though I don't quite understand lesbianic politics, I will stick with Rachel Maddow because she does her thing like no other woman has ever done for me. I swear, five minutes with Rachel and I sleep like a dog.