Finally, a letter

Hi,
I know you edit these, so I will keep this short and sweet. I am a divorced woman, 30 something, with a 8 year old son. About a year ago I met this great man, employed, no major addictions, handsome, healthy, fit and a great lover. Everything I needed. I don't know if you have a rule, but mine had always been we date a year before you meet my child. In the case of Mr. Right, it was a month, maybe not that. My son liked Mr. Right from day one, and they bonded. For many months life was beyond great, with dinners, time with a family and great late night sex after my child was sleeping. Then Mr. Right decided that a family was the last thing he needed, he performed some sort of passive/aggressive bullshit, making me hate him so much I broke it off and then he was gone. I am an adult, it hurt, but I will get over it. My son is heartbroken. This is a man who was so good for my son, and my son bonded.
I know how to heal my broken heart, how do I heal my sons?

You signed your name, or at least I think it was your name, but for the sake of answering your letter, I will refrain from using your real name and instead, I will call you Psycho Bitch.

So PB, I do have some advice for you. First though, live by your own damn rules you pathetic moron. Sorry, I just had to get that out, because you started strong, having a don't meet the kid rule is a key to good parenting. Oh I know, you have an itch and he had an itch scratcher and we all need some love and on and on. You know what? You fucked up and you are selfish and, of I could go on, but you know how to move on and heal, right? So you will be just fine, because chances are this was not the first stallion you took out for a long ride and he certainly will not be the last.

Back to your one year rule. Why did you drop it? Let me guess, you were lonely and Mr. Right Now was so amazing, so sexy, so powerful, so perfect and so, well fucked up, that how could you not introduce him to your innocent child?

Let's start again. How did you get full custody of this child? Does he have a bio-dad? Why is he not with him? As much as you are a super mommy, I am guessing that a young boy could use some fathering in his life, especially right about now. Please do the world a favor, allow your husband/sperm donor to raise the child. You are inept in the parenting decision making department, nothing personal, but seriously, just because you have a vagina does not make you a good mother. Once again, actions speak louder than words. Need an example? You have a word built policy of no dates meeting your son, and then actions say, let the date meet the son. Which was louder?

Children do not need to meet every hook up you encounter. Heck, they don't need to meet any of them. Your one year rule is about perfect, because if you are seeing someone for a year, you have a better idea if this is the sort of person who really likes you, or just likes your lady parts. There is nothing wrong with a man who just likes your lady parts, do not get me wrong and there is nothing wrong with women who just like men who like your lady parts. The problem is, you have a child that is more important that yours, or his, lady parts, or whatever parts men have these days.

What you did was break your big rule and it came back to prove to you why it is not only a smart and good rule, but also a rule that should always be followed, at least for the next decade.

To answer your lame brained question, how do you help your son heal from heart break? There is no way, except be honest. Explain to him that you made a mistake, you dated someone who was different than what they portrayed. You had to cut him lose, these things happen. Explain in terms he will understand that you made a big mistake. That you will not introduce him to people who will flutter in, charm and be friendly, and then disappear on a whim.

Plus, do the world a favor, do not raise this child alone. Call his father right now and ask if he could become a more important part of his sons life. You gave no clue in your letter if you and the father were married, if he is involved in any way and if he is even around. I don't know, but because you had to schedule hot sex for late at night and not on weekends when the boy was at his fathers, I am guessing he is not involved. Now is a good time to check and see if he is interested. You screwed up and left your precious son reeling, do the right thing, get him a role model who will be a father to him, like, oh I don't know, his father?