I have been trying to remember what happened.
One day I had a friend and the next I was calculating murder and how to not get caught. For the life of me I can not remember the circumstances.
What I do know is that carrying that hate around was a burden. I was just about to call the number I had, but even I know that would not connect. I mean, in a bottom line sort of way, I know that number no longer works.
Which is strange. One moment I had a friend with a phone number, and now I do not.
Then it dawned on me. What is it with not just forgiving people? Somewhere in the bible is says something about how we are all sinners, so why would any expect any difference?
Which means, we should all be in this sort of forgiving netherworld. Sure, there are people who do bad, even terrible things, sometimes directly to us, and those people might be evil or just acting out because of some sort of internal trauma they do not know how to deal with. I say forgive them.
I am, today, completely unable to figure out what 3 times 5 is, so the least of my problems is focusing on why I should remain angry with an old friend.
Just like that the burden disappeared. I mean, I know I had justification and everything, but the energy used to focus hatred was debilitating. What I think I am in search of is that friendship, those people who we let close should stay there, no matter. I say this from the perch of the wisdom that comes with the inability to retain. One moment you are awash in brilliance, the next, you can't find your socks.
Some people do things that can never be forgiven and you are being stupid if you think that just waving the magic wand of forgiveness makes everything better.
ReplyDeleteIf only true forgiveness was as simple as saying you forgive. Plus, maybe the people you forgive do not forgive you, ever think about that? Could explain why you only have a disconnected number for your forgivable friend.
ReplyDeleteAgree with previous. There is always a reason friends and lovers end things. If whatever it was that ended it was not so bad, you'd probably still have an active number. If it was you who dumped the person, you may want to focus on that moment when you decided you could no longer be friends, because that is why you first ended things, right? Forgiving is a powerful moment, but as stated above, some people do not deserve forgiveness, but scorn.
ReplyDeleteForgive, but forget. You can never go back and the reason you stopped being friends or broke up with someone rarely if ever changes. Forgiving is good, you do remove the energy it takes to hate, but trust me, you can not go back, you can not forget and you can not recapture the time before you made a decision to no longer be friends/lovers or whatever it was.
ReplyDeleteAgree with previous, the reason friends become ex-friends or ex-lovers or whatever is that at some point they crossed a line, or you crossed a line, either way, forgive, but walk away. Most of the people I have written off were forgiven soon after, I still would not bother to talk with them.
ReplyDeleteIt is important to leave the past alone and forget. If that involves forgiving someone who made mistakes, fine, but for me, if I wrote someone off for whatever reason, that reason remains. I may forgive them in my mind, just to allow a way to move forward, but the reality is, if you burn that bridge you probably did it for a reason.
ReplyDeleteForgive, but keep the distance. People rarely change, especially those who did something so wrong that they were dropped.
It's not like AA or NA, you don't need to make amends or anything, forgive and leave it alone. If it was someone as obviously evil as Sketchy, I'd say keep a big distance and never contact, but forgive if that brings peace.
ReplyDeleteForgive or not, if I were you I would just forget about Sketchy. Never met him, could care less about him, he is not even entertaining on this blog. You have a cast of characters being developed here, he is like an evil cloud, when I see a post about him, it is just never very interesting.
ReplyDeletePlus, I have a sneaking suspicion that he posts all the rude and stupid comments that seem to pop up on here.
Fuck forgiving people. Order an extra large pizza from every delivery place in your city and have it delivered to their workplace, under their name. Fuck evil people.
ReplyDelete