I is stupit

Lately I have been teaching my elderly daughter how to drive. She is not really elderly, yet, but she is much older than I was when it came time to learn how to handle an automobile.

I could not wait to drive. When I was 15 or so, I would volunteer to go get the mail, jump in my moms car and drive 25 feet or so to the mail box, get out, get the mail, back in the car and up the driveway.

My daughter on the other hand, has waited. She waited and practiced in New York, on farm roads where the only real threat was a deer, a dog or Amish. She tried her hand at driving, found it uncomfortable or something and gave up.

Now, however, she has purchased a sturdy car, has been demanding to drive from here to there and back again and even has plans to get her license and if the driving gods work their magic, she should get her license right about the time she is moving overseas to protect our country and eat fresh pasta.

Here is what I am learning as I drive in the passenger seat. We are the stupidest country in the history of stupid. First, driving is one of those social activities that we all do, and we take it for granted that the other drivers on the street know how to drive, will respect right of way and so on. But if you pay attention, your realize that the entire driving experience is built upon just how blindingly stupid everyone has become.

See, in a modern society where people can read and understand operating a 2500 pound vehicle, we should not need stop signs at ever corner. But in stupidland, we must have them at every corner, otherwise the stupids will plow through intersections like, well, like there was no reason to stop. See, the stupids rule.

The stupids are requiring so much signage and rules because they are so fucking stupid that they are not smart enough to be social animals with an understanding of how to deal with others in social situations. In a better world, we would come to an unmarked intersection, slow down, and seeing no pedestrians or other traffic, we would slink right through. Instead, of course, we have lights and signs and police, plenty of police, always at the ready to write stupid tickets to stupid people who will pay the fine, albeit with a sense if stupid indignation.

Stupid people rule this country. Stupid republicans would vote for another stupid republican even if it was Hitler running, just because he was republican. Don't think democrats are smarter, because the vast majority will vote democrat even if my lesbian lawyer dog Beth Libitard Esq was on the ballot. Stupids vote, that's why so many stupids get elected.

Sure, there are smart people in this country, but not many and the ones who are smart are probably smart in one thing, like say, knowing what the answer is when someone asks what 5 times 3 is. Or something smart like that. I had a smart friend once, but he could not drive. Go figure.

Here's the problem as I see it. At some point we decided that we really believed that line that "all men are created equal." See, if you think about it, we really all are CREATED equal, that is, a man and woman did the hetro nasty and created a baby, and for the vast amount of history, that is how babies were created, all pretty much in the same fashion. Once the whole creating a baby part is done, then we are no longer equal. Some people had a mother who, for 9 months, did nothing but drink copious amounts of alcohol and smoke cigarettes. Is that baby as equal to the granola chewing hippy woman, who would not even drink coffee while pregnant? Or the pregnant woman who continues to go to yoga and stay fit and strong, while the obese woman who got pregnant I don't know how, and continues to eat processed garbage and plop out an obese child at some point. Are those all equal?

No, they are not. Created equally, but after that is is education, diet, exercise, genetics and environment that really make people stupid, smart and all sorts of other fun things. So, our government, in the infinite wisdom of idiocy, has lowered all the levels of society to the stupidest. Driving is certainly the prime example. In a better world, drivers would be cautious and courteous. Instead, we have to make laws on every aspect because stupid people are unable to be cautious, courteous or even friendly. So, it become illegal to throw cigarettes out a window. Seems to make sense, except stupid people still do it, so they sometimes get a ticket.

It's a vicious cycle.

As a passenger I was trying to explain why there are stop signs at damn close to every intersection in our neighborhood. As a driver I just drive and pay little attention to such things, but you really do notice how the government has had to step in at every juncture to demand stupid people pay attention. They tell us how fast we can drive, where we can park, when we should slow, stop or yield. Really, I am old enough to know these things and the vast majority of drivers know them too, but again, we are not talking about vast majorities, we are talking about training the stupids to be responsible.

See, all those kids born of the drinking/drugging parents? They will never have the ability to think for themselves, thank you Jack Daniels and Phillip Morris. They will always need rules and regulations, because stupids are just incapable of responsibility. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the stupids as much as anyone, heck until a few months ago, I dated one, but the problem with stupids is that they demand so much attention. If the stupids just grazed in fields all day, staying to themselves and not bothering anyone, no one would care. Instead, they drive among us, probably uninsured and almost certainly listening to loud music or Rush Limbaugh, brainlessly breezing through life without a care in the world, an open beer in the front seat and a smoldering meth lab in the trunk.

We are here at this point in history, nothing we can do about it.