The magic beanie

I have a gray beanie I wear in the mornings, even now in Spring, because it controls my hair from having a free and easy life of its own.

This particular beanie is kind of magic, not just because it has the power of control, but it also led the an unbelievable series of events that introduced me to how devious and scary some people can be.

Then, after showing me the bad in some men, it has only shown me how great life can be. I trust in the beanie and for the most part, the beanie has been great for me. It is a great year and the beanie has been the anchor that allows me to sail.

So I was just out run/walking across the entire downtown core, oh wait, tangent time.

I am strong and nimble right now, or as strong and nimble as someone in my "condition" can be, that is, someone who spends an equal amount of time working out and throwing up, so in some ways, I am a anorexic athlete. Now, if you turn me lose to walk fast around a city, there really is no slowing me down, except today.

If you have ever been to a horse race you know that the strongest, fittest, most likely to kick ass horse always gets some extra weight added, which I am not quite sure why, except to maybe level the playing field, as it were.

So there I was, wearing a back pack, as I pranced around downtown, darting in between slow moving obese people and hacking smokers, trying my hardest to race through the city. I was carrying a backpack with about 20 pounds of documents for work. All of a sudden I realized what race horses must get as they round the final turn headed for the finish line, that it is bullshit to have to carry all that extra weight.

I made it back to my office drenched in sweat.

So, while out doing my deliveries, I had my magic beanie, at first wearing it, but then as I started to get over heated, I put it in my pocket. Now, keep in mind, this beanie is more responsible for dumping my fiance than anything else, so it has some sort of power and I like that about it. It is a magic honest beanie, you can not deceive it, charm it or do anything that it will not hold against you. Power magic beanie, away.

I called my dear friend in Seattle and we shared some thoughts about race relations in America and the decline of network television, or something like that, and I was sitting in my buildings lobby and I realized, my beanie was gone. Frantic I jumped up and began to retrace my steps. As the door opened to the outside a large man with a bald head and a smile stood, holding my magic beanie and said, I figured you'd come looking for it.

Magic Beanie, your power astounds me.