Fertig

This is a special note to those commentators who caught the unedited version of last nights post. First, I did get your email and thank you for inviting me. While a quiet weekend spent with someone caring for me would be swell, I have children, a lesbian dog and a recently sober cat. Things here are busy.

Other emails, yes, it is true. It was as slip on my part to post such private information, but it was a moment. Sometimes in life, we realize just how alone we really are.

For many years I cared for my Alzheimers mother. I did not actually spend every day caring for her, there were professionals and nurses who did the daily care. I did visit her daily, we talked, smoked, laughed and then the nurses would care for the diapers and showers and all the rest. Even after she had a stroke and she was in a hospital room waiting to die, and my children and I were there and we had this opportunity to be with her, she was alone and going her own way, which is, in reality the way it always is.

A few years ago I had a battle inside my body and I won. Mostly I did it alone, with the help of a couple of good friends, who I am sure would be here on the next plane if I made that phone call. Heck, even last night, my Russian friend happened to call and she offered to drop everything and come stay, although I am pretty sure the lesbian dog is the real enticement.

No alone is how these things work. People, even people who are there for the right reasons, just get in the way. Plus, as many times as I have fallen down the stairs in the last 3 days, it's nice to not have to deal with a witness.

So, thank you blog readers for your intense emails and the concern. My Russian friend, who has a better understanding of life than I do, said that it seemed obvious to her that removing Sketchy the Addict from the picture was my internalized way of cleaning the plate to focus on important things.