A toaster named becky

I am in love, no shame in that. Becky and I have long had what the kids call the "hots" for one another. A long time now. First, she was married and I was all single. Then I was married and she was married, but we would have coffee and at some point we played footsy, but I felt guilty and told my old ball and chain, who was not a kind person and she left me for a well hung house builder named Franky. Hey Franky I would say when I called to speak to the old ball and chain. In fact, Franky would answer the phone in that moronic way he always answers the phone and we would chat about sports, those Dodgers I would say and he would say something witty like, it's football season stupid and then without putting his hand over the phone he would call out, hey ball and chain, it's him again.

Free to date Becky I asked her out, but by then she was totally a confirmed lesbian. Weird how that works. I too became a lesbian, choosing to sleep only with women, which made me unique, in a strange way. I liked being a lesbian. I was more of a lip stick lesbian, but then all my male friends, Franky included, would make fun of me for wearing outlandish lipstick. So I stopped, wearing lipstick, not the lesbian part. That old saying is so true, once you go lesbian, something something something.

Anyway, after a few hours of lesbianism Becky gave it up, saying in essence, why bother? I agreed, although for me, the habit was harder to quit.

Then Becky called and asked if I wanted to go bowling. I love bowling, don't ask me why, and we spent the night throwing balls and knocking over pins. The next night we went bowling.

I am not sure if Becky and I are an item, or friends with benefits (she has health insurance) or just people who play footsy in public (and sometimes in private). I like her, I do, and I think she likes me too.

We might get married, then again, since she joined the Marines, I have not seen her for 7 years. People are weird that way.