The stupidest person in the entire world

Yes, thank you all so much for voting. First, I want to thank the little people, because without you, I would feel smaller. Thank you so much. I need to thank my agent, Maury Silverberg, Maury may you live long and prosper, on the backs of others (wait for applause). Seriously Maury, thank you bro. My manager, Turvy Moscow Bergman. I call her the Turv. Honey, we did it. This is for you. I want to thank my adopted child Yang-Plex. Honey, Daddy is getting an honor, have the nanny put you to sleep. No TV. I could not stand here and not thank the most important person in this room tonight. Becky (hold trophy in the air) we did it. All those drugs, all the prostitutes and fist fights, the late night flights to Portugal, just to buy lunch meat and painting the pool red. It was all worth it. I love you baby. I did it, I am the stupidest person in the world.

Anyone who reads this blog knows I have been tracking the delivery of my new APPLE Ipad, first it visited China, then Hong Kong, it stopped to throw up on Sarah Palin in Alaska yesterday, flew for a quick bite in Indianapolis and this morning it hung out with some very sweet African American gentlemen in Pittsburgh. I could track it on my smart phone and I kept bragging to you people, making some of you jealous (got the email, shut it grandma).

If you read back a few posts you will see, I got a present from Apple and it was due to arrive today. I was on a job until 6, but I raced back to my office, holding hands with a cherished friend and skipping happily through the streets of the city. I unlocked my office door and on the table, right there in front of me, a FedEx box. Now, I know the new Ipad is skinny, but the FedEx box on my table was very skinny. Too skinny. I picked it up, way too light. I immediately logged in and check the status of my order. The cover arrived today. The Ipad2 is still 10 days away from bringing me deep and lasting happiness.

If I am not the stupidest person in the world, I am taking suggestions on who is. Commentators? Have at it.