Spanked

Letter:

Matt-What is your take on spanking young children? I have a 4 year old son who cusses and talks back and shows no respect, especially in public places. It's embarrassing. I have spanked him a couple of times, but now it seems to have less impact. Suggestions? Opinion?


Personally, I like spanking.

So, for a while I had some children living with me, don't ask how or why, but trust me, it was not an easy experience for any of us. That said, I believe I may have spanked my oldest son once, and that may have been an accident, like I was tripped and fell and when I put my hand out to cushion my landing, it accidentally hit his butt. That would be it. Then there is this younger girl, I don't think she was ever spanked. I do recall a middle child, not quite sure if I remember her name, but if memory does serve me, I believe she woke with a spanking, got spanked from breakfast to nap time and then we would spank her some more until we were too tired, then we hired a strict nanny from Germany to come by in the afternoons and spank her, about 7 PM every night a different neighbor would stop by to continue the spanking and then at bed we would make sure she brushed her teeth, had cleaned her room and when we went to kiss her goodnight, we would spank her some more, just to make sure she got the point.

To this day I am not sure what the point is with spanking. I knew I was sometimes taking out my own frustrations on that child. See, we want strong willed, smart, opinionated children in our lives, we just don't want them on their terms, we want them to be smart and strong willed, but still cower when we enter the room. That is not the case though, is it?

There are very few parents who I think really want to spank or punish a child. It's just not fun, but it is part of the job of parenting. So what you have to ask yourself is, if the spanking card is not working anymore, what other cards do I have available to me.

Once I realized I would spank my child out of my own frustration, I stopped spanking all together. That was, of course, last week, and she might be due for another spanking any minute now.

A cussing 4 year old? Where did he learn those nasty nasty words? Kids learn a lot of stuff from watching their parents. Plus, your attempt at physical intimidation is not working. Maybe it is you who needs a good spanking, of some sort. Maybe this 4 year old boy just wants your attention and the only way he seems to really have your full on attention is when he is cussing, misbehaving and being punished.

Look, spanking is played out for you, never to return to its seat of prominence in your parenting guide book. Find something new, maybe play some games, get outside and garden with him, or go to the park and run around and throw stuff. He's 4 years old, he wants a father who engages him on other levels away from disciplinarian.